H has been in an EA for the last two years, we have two young children, and I am a cancer survivor (was told I had breast cancer five years ago), and thus very insecure about everything.

I have access to H's mail, and I know that his EA girl has been telling him that in case of divorce he'll have no trouble getting sole custody of the children. How he'll manage that when he's a workaholic who never sees his children while I am a loving stay at home mom, I don't know.

What's worrying me is the new stress in the relationship. We've been seeing an MC, but when she suggested last week that he might have to do something to improve this marriage he got furious and almost attacked her. On top of that, he was actually nice to me for a day or two last week. AND I know that he and his girl were planning on "springing" something on me this coming week, but changed their minds, God knows why. And I know that he is secretly planning on meeting a lawyer next week.

Why's he suddenly nice? What about the lawyer? What about his unstable behavior with the MC? What's going on here??? I don't want a divorce since I refuse to put my kids through it and I think I still love my H. But if it weren't for the kids I know that I'd be out of this M by now.

What's going on here??????? What should I do??? Please someone help.

Send her H copies of the phone bills, and tell him what you know.

You've been coming here and have gotten great advice for two months. Have you implemented any of the MB plans?

Have you started Plan A? Meeting your H's most important needs, and exposing the affair (especially to OW's husband)?

Are you planning to?

This program is awesome, but you have to actually use it to see the results.

I should explain more--her H found out without my help and exerted some check on their contact. My H was depressed for a while and the email contact slowed down, but now it has restarted. I 'm waiting to see if the woman's H gets suspicious again without my help; once suspicious, always suspicious, that's my belief.

I did tell my H's mother; she sort of believed me. I have told the friends that know him best. All that drove him wild with fury, and I know that it is the combination of my starting to confide in people who know him, and his love's H's influence, that's caused him to consult a lawyer.

Meanwhile, I have my LBs under control, and my H had to confess to the MC that he's had little to complain about for a long time.

I'm just worried that things are getting out of everyone's control. I don't want a divorce. What can I do if he's seeing a lawyer without confiding in me that he is? I know that he'll be writing his "friend" all about it soon; maybe I should wait to see what that tells me.