It's been 1 week since my H told me about his A. The first 5 days he was very angry, cold and distant to me. Then 1 day, we had spent some time together and he kisssed me, we ended up in bed together. The next night we spent more time together, he was still kind of distant but gave me a hug before we went to bed and thanked me for coming with him. On the next day I had bought coffee for both of us, he invited me to drink it with him in the room he's been sleeping in and we snuggled (at his request) and kissed some more.

I had to go to pick up my child from a friends, he was about an hour away. By the time I got back, my H needed to go to work, but provided me with a copy of his schedule for the next week. He asked when dinner would be (and he hadn't been eating with us for a week) and said he'd be home by then.

Question. . . . I want to believe that he really went to work, but is it usual behavior for someone to first be angry with you and not even speak to you for awhile, then to soften up and do what he's doing, but keep his A going on? He told me and the MC that he had broken off physical contact with her about 3 weeks prior to revealing the A. HELP!!!!! I don't know if I'm crazy, paranoid or if he's continuing to lie to me.

Trust is now going to be a choice for you. Can you risk him doing it again. Do you love him enough to give him another chance?

He is angry because men express their feeling with anger. He is angry with himself. You have a great chance for recovery. Follow the MB books, they helped a great deal. By meeting his needs and letting him meet yours you are bonding and falling in love again. I wish you the best. Your story sounds like mine, except someone let me know he was having an affair before he had a chance to tell me. I do believe he was going to, but I will never know.

Over 2 years later we are doing great, but the affair does stay with you and becomes part of a new relationship with your husband. I am sorry for your pain, it will get better.

I want to trust him, so I'm choosing to. I do a little bit of verifying when I'm able and so far it has checked out. I guess I'm really trying to figure out if he's really being true with his feelings or just trying to get me to believe so he doesn't have to choose yet. We're seeing our MC soon so I'll have a discussion then as well.

Thanks!