I posted a while ago. My husband is now expecting a baby with another woman... We have 2 kids and have been married 8 years. When he sat me down to tell me, he told me that he wants to be with me and (obviously) he's made a big mistake. He has been a 'serial' cheater. This is the 3rd time in 3 yrs... He swears that this time has 'scared' him and he'll never do it again. He may not... I don't know.

Obviously.. all trust is gone.. we're now almost 5 months into this thing and are trying to work it out using the marriage builders info here... money is so tight.. we can barely afford to pay bills, let alone a counseling (even a cheap one) bill... we don't qualify for free counseling.

So.. I don't know what to do.. I flip flop and feel like i'm on an emotional roller coaster. We've talked about starting over... relocating out of state, mostly due to job reasons. I feel like we're running from the situation too.

In the mean time, we're totally broke.. I've been out of work for medical reasons for almost 2 yrs... I've been looking and can't find anything anymore... the neverending battle. The baby is due at the end of the year and he is giving the OW money each month. I do expect him to live up to his financial responsibilities. He's agreed to no contact with her or the baby after it's born, yet she calls him several times a month. He's told me that he'll just "have no contact" instead of sitting down and telling her there should be no contact.

I know I may struggle, but of course would be fine if I chose to leave. But that's the problem... I can't make a decision...

We'll get 'going' and things will be very honest and go well, but then something comes up .. even when it's just the time of the month to send her a check and I get so damn resentful... it's a tough situation.

Any suggestions on how to deal and how to make a decision that I can live with?

Thanks,

Ona

Ona,

I am sorry you are in this situation and recommend you take your story over to the preg/child board. There you will find those in similar situations who can be quite helpful.

I question why your H is sending monthly payments to the OW. Has she proved (medical confirmation) that she is pregnant? How do you know it is his? Why is he liable for her pre-natal care?

I think you and your H are being taken for a ride. I have been in a similar situation but the OW did not provide 1 shred of evidence other than her big mouth.

Learn your legal options. If $$ is tight, you s/b able to do your own research via your local county website (if you live in the states).

L.

He's giving her money based on legal advice he received... that it's possible in this state for her to come back and get money for medical expenses.. so it's better to give 'soomething' in good faith... looks better when/if it is brought up in front of judge for child support.

Have your H put the money in a bank account for OW baby's. Wait until baby is born. DEMAND a DNA test before giving anymore money. The money he is giving will be looked at as a gift and not one cent will count towards her/baby medical costs.

Cover his butt.

Sunshine
been down the legal road