OK seems like we have a pattern going here

H and his OW have to speak or see each other can go a month then sure contact will be made.

We have been working on each others needs
Everything seems to be going fine.

MORE sex then we have had in our 26 yrs

The last couple of weeks H has slowed down in his wanting to talk about anything (other then just chat)

Then yesterday he came by the house once during work and he called twice during the day
All this so I will feel secure about him not visiting with her.

Well 5:30 rolls around and he is home came sit with me in the chair hugs and kiss's
I knew something was up .

He laid his cell by me so I was checking his calls in front of him.
He says I didn't get any calls today

I SEEN HER AT THE STORE AND PULLED IN TO TALK TO HER.

Says they sat and talked about ten minutes
And said he loved her but loved me more and was staying at home with me

And tells her to go back home to her husband
She still loves him and wants to be with him.

I am really having a problem with this.

1. You are driving down a busy rd and just happen to see her and talk to her (ya right)
2. You told her you still love her
3. She still wants to be with you

This seems to be all I get out of his conversation.

It doesn't matter that he told her he loved me more

WHAT MATTERS TO ME IS HE STILL TOLD HER HE LOVES HER.

I don't know what to say or do any more.
I decided to take some meds and stay in bed ALL day.I want to just die it really would be easier
then this.

How can you get the words out of your head and the images of them together out of your head ????

NOW WHAT
Any bright ideals from this board ?
Maybe more then two can answer me this time ?

Dear used,

I'm not sure I know enough about your story to help so I will look for previous postings, read them and comment if possible.

NC means NC. If your H agreed to NC, he needs to stick with it. Was a NC letter (approved by you) sent?

I'll try to catch up on your story and respond later.

Hang in there.

sss

H didn't agree to NC

H doesn't agree with anything here at MB

H as said he will work on our marriage
And at his last converstion with the OW in Sept.said he wasn't giving either one of us up.

And at least now yesterday he told her he loves me more and he will make our marriage work.
And for her to go back with her husband.

I am having problems with words and thoughts of them in my head.
I can't get them out no matter how hard I try

I also told him last night
That I will NEVER trust him again ever.
And about the words and thoughts of them in my head

He says he knows it will take time and he has to prove hisself to me.
And that his actions speak louder then anything he says.

He knows what all to say to me and he has been trying .

I just don't know

H called while I was outside

Then he called again after lunch wants to know how I feel ????

WTF ? I said fine (lies)

HELLO OUT THERE

Any comments ??

If he does not believe in MB, then ask him how he plans to regain your trust - ie if he won't follow the MB plan, what WILL he do. Then decide if that will be enough for you.

Used - just want you to know that I responded, and others on your thread in EN forum. You are not alone. Believe me, I know this is tough! <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> {{{{Hugs to ya!}}}}

used -

You can't work on your M if your H is still involved with OW. Even if your H doesn't believe in MB, I don't see how that keeps you from using what you have learned. Maybe you need plan B?. There's no reason for him to give up OW because he gets both of you. Telling OW that he still loves her continues to leave the door wide open.

My H voluntarily issued NC with OW on the same day I found out about the A. No problem right? Except that my H is a serial cheater. Unless he decides to be honest, seek IC (to learn why he has A's), committs to MC, we aren't going to repair our M at all. H drug his feet...thought he could get away without telling complete A story, didn't think he had a problem and needed IC...etc., etc., so I asked him to move out. We've been separated for a over a month now. He still didn't get it for the first three weeks, but now realizes that I'm not settling for a dishonest, (repeat)cheating, alcoholic husband. He's working on things now.

Have you considered asking him to move out?

sss

You can't work on your M if your H is still involved with OW.
Why not?

Even if your H doesn't believe in MB, I don't see how that keeps you from using what you have learned.
Exactly. That is working on the marriage while ws is onvolved with ow.

Thanks for the replys
And thanks for the replys in En also.

I figured I would post at both because some visit here others there.

I know it is hard to explain to you all

H is really improving I can't even begin on how our 26 yr marriage was.

And not all his fault mine also.

And it took this Affair to wake me up.

We are both like NEW people honest we are.

We talk now truthfully we never did before.

We talk about feelings now .

I just never thought I would be in this spot and I am unsure of everything.

I don't know if we are on track or if he is just
binding his time .

He told me last night he loves me now more then ever.

I didn't have a answer

And wanted to add just because H doesn't do the MB and books.

Doesn't mean I don't.

I have learned ALLOT here and in the books and I am using it (H doesn't know I am)

But I have learned to meet his EN's and express to him how to meet mine.

I have learned to not love bust
And how to add to my love bank.

I am using MB's and the books
H is also just doesn't know it

Used, my last post got zapped into oblivion <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> and I have to get back to work. I'll check on you later. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />