Yes, I am a N but have been reading MB for over a week now and am just now feeling comfortable laying all of this out for advice/help/suggetions. Married 15 yrs, 4 great kids(17B,15G,15G,9G with CP), my first marriage, her second. Now forgive me for I am about to unload. Wife felt I wasn't helping out enough with the kids but when I asked what help she needed it always seemed to be when I was at work, only work 40 a week or less. Said she has been asking for a few years and no help was given. Last summer, at a family reunion, she met a long lost uncle who she started emailing every night for hours on end, they would converse this way and on the phone. In late Nov. 02 she stated she wanted to go down to see him in TX and he would pay. I resisted but she went for a week anyway and when she came back I thought all would get better and I even tried to do more for her than I did before...Fast forward to June 03 and she says she is leaving cause things are not working out, leaves while I am out with the kids at ballgames and says she is going to brothers house. Next morning I get voicemail at work from her and she is Nashville on way to Tx to see Uncle. We talk for a few months and she comes back Aug. 03...Things are rough and I knew they would with both of us having so many emotions and all but I still try as she gets meaner and meaner with me and the kids...she does have a small brain tumor she has to get removed which I thought she was gonna get doen in Nov. She tells me she wants to go see Uncle again before surgery since she doesn't know if she will ever get to see him again. I am pissed but do not show it and say ok. Oct. 5th '03 she telle me she is flying down in the morning to sign some beneficiary papers so she will get his estate should anything ever happen to him and she will be home in a week. She tells me this at 8pm at night just before we take our YD to bed. She told the kids then as well. Oct. 8th she emails me and says she lied and nothing is wrong with uncle and she is not coming home and we'll see what happens in a month. That pretty much is the meat of it. I still care for her and would welcome her home in a second. I have not told her I miss her nor have I told her to please come home as I did the last time she left. I have asked her what are her needs, what would she like, what kind of support does she want from me. I asked her if she wants to hear about the kids, me, her family, whatever....I even told her to tell her uncle thank you for taking such good care of her while down there. Her emails are only a few lines long and really are of no help. She did say she loves reading about me and the kids but she gets to emotional reading them and that distracts her from why she is down there, "to get her sh*t together". To be honest I don't know why she went and I have no intension of asking. I have started new medicine to help with sleep apnea and have read so much material I can't read anymore. So, what do you think? Am I an idiot to let her back in this house? I am tired of telling her how much I support her and take all the time she needs and asking how I can help. She never responds. Was surprised on Friday when she called me at work and said she missed hearing my voice. Almost said to her, come home and you can hear it all the time. This post was mistakenly put on another board so I am posting here. I am almost %100 sure she is not in a PA. Is it possible? Well, anything is possible forthe most part but I think he is filling her EN and also harboring/enabling her. When you try and express the entire situation on a board, you find out how trully deep it is. Thanks.
