My daughter sent me this. I needed a little humor this week, thought you might too. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Mattel announces the release of models of Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for the Minneapolis-St. Paul Market:


Edina Barbie:
This Princess Barbie is only sold at Southdale. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus, a longhaired
foreign dog, named "Honey", and an over-priced house. Available with or without a tummy tuck and face-lift. Therapist Ken available. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with augment version. Fantasy Ken sold separately
during the afternoons at local motels. Toys and accessories sold at adult bookstores.

Eden Prairie Barbie:
This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with
your choice of Lexus SUV or Ford Windstar minivan.Her vehicle will not move unless there are no objects in front of the vehicle for 100 yards, causing traffic jams. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. Optional matching gym outfit in plus sizes only. Eden Prairie Ken and she come
with matching Vikings jerseys. He drives to the games. She drives home. It takes her 45 minutes longer.

Minnetonka Beach Barbie:
Has freshness date on package. Do not buy
after that date or product may be spoiled rotten. Comes with noappreciation on how the "other" 95% live. Does not have career or an idea of what
makes her happy. When bought in conjunction with Hard Working Ken, she will change her appearance.....will gain 75 lbs., will cut her hair, will become an avid church-goer, and belittle anyone who crosses her. No one including Ken is right, ever. Ken's head melts after 17 years.

St. Paul Barbie:
This model is only available at the JC Penney
Catalog Store or at any parochial school bazaar. It cannot be purchased on Saturday night (because of Trivia nights) and Sundays (grade school picnics).It comes with a case of Busch Beer, pork steaks, a recipe for Hash Brown Casserole, a 1987 Plymouth Voyager and one cell phone
(circa 1982, big as a toaster) for the whole family with 15 anytime minutes. She is wearing the latest fashion from Target that she wore on Easter Sunday. It also comes with Ken (wearing the latest soccer T-shirt two sizes too
small), a sack of White Castles and a 72 ounce Big Gulp.

North Minneapolis Barbie:
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a
9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with tinted windows and her own Meth Lab kit. This Barbie also comes with 6 children by four different Ken.
This model is available after dark and can be paid for only in cash--preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you're a cop. Then
we don't know what you're talking about!

Wayzata Barbie:
This yuppie Barbie comes with a choice of a BMW
sports car or a souped up Hummer 2.0 Included is her Starbucks cup, credit cards and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and private School Skipper. But you can't afford them anyway. This edition is available in Naples, FL, but only during spring break.

[censored] Rapids Barbie:
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler
jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt and has a tattoo of a Tweetybird on her shoulder. She has big, stiff hair, a six-pack of Coors
Light and a Hank Williams, Jr., CD set.She can spit over 5 feet and can kick Mullet-haired Kenny doll's a** when she's drunk. Purchase her pickup
separately and get its Confederate flag bumper stickers absolutely free. Comes with personal concealed gun license.

Woodbury Barbie:
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard-print ski outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while she entertains friends at the club. Limited clothing available. Designer mini-skirts and CFM'S constitute 90% of her wardrobe. Percoset prescription available.
Elderly Ken completes this set.

Uptown Barbie:
This doll is made of actual tofu, has long gray hair and arch-less feet, sandals with white socks, no makeup and a mutt. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She thinks Wellstone was a republican.

Fridley Barbie:
This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased her beer-gutted boyfriend out of Anoka Barbie's house. Her
make-upis dark red lip liner with your choice of lips covered in a sparkly pink or no fill-in at all. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans with assorted colored G-strings that stick out the back and a white see-through halter-top. Accessories include: CD player equipped with
BonJovi and a rusty old Ford pickup.

Willmar Barbie:
This Barbie is the same model of Barbie that was released in 1982. She comes with shoulder pads, dark polyester skirt,white pantyhose and a bad haircut.

So, what your saying is that we have culture here in fabulous Minnesota...!?!?!?

Oh, you forgot the Isanti Barbie and Ken. Isanti is the red neck hill billy town that borders my red neck hill billy town of Cambridge.

Isanti Barbie: This independent working gal comes complete with her little toddler which was concieved while she was at the ripe old age of 16. Toddler comes complete with full Tommy Hillfiger outfit and glowing white Nike's. Isanti Barbie is about 30 lbs. over wieght, shown wearing her black tank (2 sizes too small) with no bra and her pierced belly button showing. She has the ever fashionable low rise, skin tight around the hips but with overly large bell bottoms - jeans with the bottom of the bells worn and frazzeled and torn half way up her calf. She has a visible tattoo on her shoulder and either her nose or tongue pierced...maybe both!!! On probation Ken is sold complete with mullet hair cut and college basketball jersey of choice. Oversized, overly baggy jeans are riding half way down his a** with his wallet securely chained to his belt...as if he had anything in there anyway! Purchase his jacked up Chevy pickup with extremely loud exhaust and 33 inch tires (none of which he can afford) and we'll throw in the obligatory full rear window confederate flag decal absolutely free!!! Twin CB anntenas sold seperate. Neon lights can be purchased to go along with the bumper rattling bass that he has blarring at every stop light. Accesories make this a truely special truck!!! The more the better, there is no such thing as too many accesories. Hurrry, these Barbies won't last. She has a line on a dream mobile home which will be available soon...she's looking to move out of her mom's apartment any day now. Mom's pushing because her new boyfriend needs a place to stay. Ken is planning to move in with a bunch of his buddies on the outskirts of town, and his brother thinks he can get Ken a job at the local tire retailer...so move fast!!! See both Ken and Barbie appearing at the Isanti County government center in one of the ongoing child support hearings...well for Barbie it is a child support hearing, Ken isn't sure it is his kid so he wants that settled first. Available only at the local Wal-Mart store (open 24 hrs.).

<small>[ October 29, 2003, 10:31 AM: Message edited by: Want My Wife Back ]</small>

WMWB - LOL that's just harsh .. but funny <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

This only makes sense to Americans.

In the UK there's a joke that the most expensive is Divorced Barbie - costs £200!

That's because the set includes Ken's house, Ken's car and Ken's boat.

That was great. I particularly like the Fridley and [censored] Rapids Barbies. All were right on the money though. Thanks for the smile.

Okay, I'm confused. What's with the confederate flag in Minnesota? Does being south of Canada make "ya'll", (MN version of "y'all"?), part of "The South"? And is that a good or bad thing?

Here in N.C. the rebel flag is considered pretty much the mark of a redneck, though I must admit that as a Yankee transplant I tend to associate with other non-native southeners. (I'm a bit of a half-breed myself. My family is southern, but I was raised up North.)

Sorry ..... too much analysis of a joke. But it beats actually working, and if I'm sitting typing away at my terminal, maybe it looks like I'm productively busy?

Well Doof, you pretty much hit the nail on the head. Good 'ol dixie must transcend all geographical boundries. The rebel flag pretty much is the mark of the redneck here as well. You see a lot of them plastered on jacked up, rusted out pick-up trucks once you go north and get out of the cities. In most of the northern farming and outlying communities there is a tremendous racist undercurrent. That is no joke. You've all heard the phrase "Minnesota Nice", I'm sure you have. What that really means is, we are nice to you on the surface, to you face. We may decide to be civil to you if you are pretty much the same as us. If you are not, we pretty much have nothing nice to say about you...at least behind your back. Minnesota nice has a very hypocritical aspect to it. Nice to your face, not necesarrily behind your back. The high school I went to was the second largest in the state at the time. We graduated about 500 kids in my class, about 2700 kids in the school that year. We had, i think, 2 or 3 african-american students in the school. There was a MAJOR racist under-tone at that school. Lots of confederate flags on trucks in that parking lot. From what I understand, it has only gotten worse.

Now, don't get me wrong. We are not all racists. On the contrary, this is the land on liberals and militant political correctness. We are socially forced to accept EVERYONE and ALL of their behavior. Not only that, but the tax base here forces us "normal folk" to literally pay for social programs to force this social acceptance issue. At least the bulk of the population is that way. But once you get to the outlying areas, it tends to be a little less PC. We are not considered southerners, not all racists, not the type to be wearing our hoods around the camp fire...nothing like that. But if you pay attention when you are here, there are some under currents to that effect, at least in the small towns.

They say all good humor is rooted in truth, Cerri's joke is no exception.

LOL

These were good.