My wife was suppose to move out Saturday, but she didn't get moved. I can tell when they have plans. Her mood swings are unbelievable. Just two weeks ago, she was ready to end the A. She went to do it on her on, without me asking. But he talked her out of it. She hasn't looked back since. It is easy to see that she feels that she is inconvenienced by me and the kids. Like we are in the way.

Saturday Night we went for a long ride, it was great, Yesterday she wasn't in a bad mood, she just wanted to stay at her new house and clean. But she didn't clean, I think she was on the phone with him. I stopped by and saw that she had 3 phone calls, but I couldn't look to see the numbers. I there first this morning and all of the caller ID's were erased on both phones. She woke up fine this morning. I know She had called him before 2:00, She had asked me to call and remind her to bring some documents home. When I called her, she was rude, short and didn't want to talk. When she came home at 5:00, she was fired up about something. I said what is the matter. She said nothing, several times. It was like she was looking to blame me for something. She said I am tired of being your mother. I replied I haven't asked you to do anything for weeks, you wanted me to call you. She said I can't stand this anymore. I have to get on with my life one way or the other. You are like a shadow. I hadn't done anything. I think OM is really pressuring her to move out.

One day she will walk in and hug or kiss me and ask if I am okay. Hours later it is like she hates me. One day she talks about recovery, the next morning she calls him. One day she is as sweet as she can be and without any warning or reason she is outraged.

Is this common? How do I approach it without driving her closer to OM. I don't know OM yet, but I should by weeks end.

Dear Lady, yes, that's Soooo common. I know it's hard to take, but just sit back and watch it, if you can. You're not causing it. Sure, you're the target, but you're NOT the cause. Whatever you do, stay CALM, COURTEOUS, and RESPECTFUL.

And read just about everything you can about what you ought to be doing right now. Just the fact that you're able to write rational sentences right now is a big plus for you, but make absolutely certain that that's the ONLY side of you that your wife sees right now.

It'll drive her crazy, but that's all right. Everything will drive her crazy right now. When you see her anger, be glad; you're absolutely right that it means things are going wrong with the OM. Particularly when she gets angry when you've done something nice for her. Definitely a sign that you're messing with her internal construction of the world (in which you play the bad guy).

Crushed,

Just J offered up some great advice. Be kind, respectful and do your best to keep your outbursts to yourself. Seems like you want to repair your marriage. Let her know how serious you are. Make sure she understands that you love her and want to be with her. Do your best to make it a more difficult choice to leave than stay.