Well,

After 2 years of enabling on my end and cake eating on my WS end, I finally packed his things and he left to his sisters. So much has happened I dont even know where to begin. The last 10 months or so WS started with ILYBINILWY, then the affection dwindled, he would cringe when I came close, I still insisted we could work things out, he talked down to me , he hurt me in more ways than one, and this past Saturday I finally heard his words loud and clear, he said, "you know how I feel about you and this situation I put myself in, so if you are hurting its cause you are hurting yourself" <BAM> my eyes opened. I packed his stuff told him to leave and he did. NC on Saturday, NC on Sunday, NC on Monday all day, but he came by last night to see the baby. He cried, said he didnt realize how hard it would be, he knew it would be hard but wasnt sure how hard, he then went on to say we needed this , time apart will be good for both of us. I cant say I am in any type of plan, I read a post on this site a few days ago but cannot remember who posted , regarding PLAN A while her WS was gone and they sucessfully are in recovery even though he said he will never come back.

I was very afraid to take this step because I love my husband very much, but my husband doesnt love me enough to not hurt me. He sees him leaving as his way of not hurting me and honestly I seem to agree now.

I know I am rambling, what I have done is somewhat a Plan B, I went dark, he left and this time no calls to him begging him to come home, he has sent several text messages everything from" I need money, R U home to how is Joseph" our DS. he came by yesterday and cried and cried saying it was harder than he thought, that he missed the baby, but he thinks this is what we need. I just sat there and said ok, no tears in front of him, he kissed me on the cheek, and left,I called him which I should not have and asked if he was ok, he said yes he was fine,he said I love you , I said ok he said bye. thats it, at first I was all gung ho and thinking this is what I want, and today, I miss him, but then I tell myself Jessica , what are you missing?. Well I know to take it one day at a time,

So what do you all think? Please offer encouraging words and support..

Jessica ... (can I do this)

{{{{{{{Jessica}}}}}}}}

I know you are hurting. Have you read "Surviving an Affair?" You need to read it so you understand more of what's going on, and so you understand what you need to do.

I could just tell from your posts how much pain you are in and wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I'm sure Cerri or John or Starfish, etc.. will be by soon to reach out and help lead you. In the meantime, you might want to fill in on things such as do you work? Have you figured out an intermediate person so you don't need to speak to your husband? Have you exposed the affair? All those questions so the "oldtimers" will have more to work with..

My thoughts are with you...

Ana

Thank you for replying. I am not working as of now , I start a new job on Monday. WS entire family and friends know about the affair, but his story is no, he is not continuing the affair. I guess I finally got tired of being sick and tired. I do love him still, but I dont love the man he has turned into.

Plan B. And get an intermediary for the kid so you don't have to see him cry.