I origionally posted this on my thread but know one really reads it except WMWB and myself .. so I wanted to start this new one just to say thank you to everyone that has offered advice, support and help..

I will not give the details on here but she had me arrested last night .. ( the police said one of us had to get arrested, she was visably more upset and my daughter was up crying for mommy not to have to leave so I caved in and said I would leave. ) I really do LOVE this woman .. I don't want to hurt her or my children but I do not know what I'm going to do now..

What happened was stupid on both of are parts. I know now that everything is over and that I am going to move on with my life .. For my childrens sake. I do love her and always will but can no longer suffer this pain inside..
I am done - No plan B, No plan A, just done - I will always love her but she has made it clear who and what she wants ,, fog or no fog.

The reason I'm on here today is because I can't go home for the next three days.. I can't see my children, get clothes,anything .. Unless she drops the restraining order ( which she won't so she can see him ) I hope it was all worth it for her. I hope that she has a nice life with who and whatever she decides..

thank you for all for the advice. I did follow it even though alot of you think that I didn't ..

I Corinthians 13:4-8
Love is patient and kind, love is not jealous or boastful or rude. Love does not demand it's own way. Love is not irritable and keeps not record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love will last forever....

Sounds horrible, affair really suck. It is great that you still would welcomeher back, I don't know if I could be that strong. Stay in tuch.

L&C please don't let your emotions dictate your actions for they almost always will come back and bite you in the a**. If you give up and decide to end your marriage right now (while you still have plenty of love for her) then it is very likely that your efforts to move on with your life will be thwarted by doubts and second thoughts. Maybe the restraining order might be a blessing in disguise in that it forces you to consider implementing Plan B. With Plan B there can be two outcomes:

1.Your W ends all contact with the OM and expresses a desire to save and rebuild the marriage by agreeing to follow an MB oriented marital recovery plan based on The Four Rules For A Succesful Marriage .

2. She continues in the affair and your love bank goes in the red and you lose all love for her. This will make divorce emotionally easier for you for you will have the knowledge that it was her and not you that destroyed the marriage. With this you will indeed be able to move on with your life.

If she wants a divorce, let her do the dirty work while you keep on doing your best to save your marriage.

<small>[ November 09, 2003, 12:02 PM: Message edited by: T00MuchCoffeeMan ]</small>

Regardless of what he feels for her or the marriage, he no longer has a safe place in which to formulate his thoughts. She reads here, along with her lover. It's disgusting and disturbing. The up side of Plan B is that he can protect himself from her rage and abuse. However, I think that once out of the firing line, he will lose his own fog and his love bank will drain quickly. She will most likely have lost him before she even realizes what she's lost. They have, after all, already filed for divorce.

L&C, however, will have found peace. That will atleast be better for the children than this constant war zone activity and being shuffled back from apartment to apartment.

Regardless of your future plans, L&C, unless your wife is by your side working WITH you, your exposure on this site won't work for you. She has no rights to your thoughts and feelings anymore...so don't give her the satisfaction of knowing them. Many of us would be happy to talk with you via email, and you might seriously consider signing on with Cerri or a counselor to help you work through your divorce.