I posted a few days ago about finding a list of women's phone numbers that my husband was carrying around. He said it was an old list and the numbers were to massage parlors. That's all he'll say about it. Someone mentioned that it sounds like he's a sex addict and I believe that to be true. What am I suppose to do now. I don't know how to approach this situation when he won't be honest with me. Obviously he isn't willing to work with me. I need help quick! Also does anyone know of any free online counseling or coaching?

cerri - Help on Sex Addiction!

Tevan,
I was the one that suggested it may be sex addiction. I have included the link to my post to cerri.

This is the only place I know that is free and is a great place for you to get advice. In the end, your H will need some professional counseling or be willing to go to SAA meetings.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. It's a nightmare. Do you think that he is actively acting out now?

This is a great web site for pornography addictions. There is help for both the person who struggling with online sexual temptation and the person who lovea someone who is struggling with online sexual temptation.

http://www.pureintimacy.org/

Thanks for the links. I have looked at them briefly and they look good. I will have more time to read them carefully tonight.
My husband lies so much I don't know what to believe and don't know what he's doing. He told me that he was on his father's computer looking at porn just last week. He told me that the numbers he wrote down were a year old, but today he said he didn't know they may be 4 months old. I'm almost certain they are from Sept. because they were written on the back of a paper that had information about a job he was doing in Sept.
My husband has too much freedom and too many opportunities for me to know what he's doing. He operates his own business so I never know where he actually is or how long a job actually takes place. He also spends too much time at his parents and this is a problem. They have a family cellular plan so the bills are sent to his mother and I have no record of his calls. I have repeatedly requested one but haven't gotten it yet. When I first became aware that he was talking to other women about a year ago, I found a number stored in his cell phone. He told me that it was a friend of his mothers since the phone had formerly belonged to her. His mother even got on the phone with me and lied to me for him. He has since confessed that it was a lie so I know it was not a friend of his mother. He also uses their internet to visit porn sites and chat rooms. He says that he has asked his father to change his pass word so the my H won't be able to access the internet there but I don't know for sure. We have filtered internet at home so I don't think he's doing anything here. Also he controls all our money in his business account. I am completely dependant on him for money as I don't work and I can never be sure of where his money is going. In fact today I worked up the courage to call one of the numbers on his list. A lady answered and I explained to her what I had found in my husbands wallet. She asked me what his name and number was. I thought she must talk to a lot of men over the internet and was trying to figure out who he was. When I told her she said okay We're a company specializing in intimate gifts for men to send to their wives or girlfriends, he must have called to order something. I asked her the name of the comapny and she said "honestly that's none of your business". She said that obviously he had ordered something for me and it just hadn't arrived yet. I said I was certain that if he did order something it wasn't for me. So I want to know what this was about but will never know because it's his money and his account. I questioned him again and he said he had never called any of these numbers. They were on a website for Euro or Eros Massage? He said that he would show me the webpage if he could, but that's convient for him to say since we have filterd internet and can't access it from here.
Another problem that I face is that even if he stops going to his parents and gets his own phone and even if I were to go on all his jobs with him I couldn't be with him at all times and as he admitted today if he wanted to call someone all he would have to do is go to a pay phone and use a calling card and then I'd have no way of finding out. He could even memorize the numbers on the calling card and throw it away.
I feel hopeless right now. I don't think he's sorry about what he's doing and I know he isn't ready to be honest with me. He did agree to go talk to a pastor with me next week though. We'll see if he actually does.

Wow! You are dealing with a full-on SA. I'm so sorry for your pain.

You have to take it one step at a time. Eliminate one thing at a time. Have a meeting with his parents and tell them (with him there) that he has a sex addiction problem and they are enabling it as long as they allow him to use their computer. Ask for their assistance in removing his ability to act out at their house. I would hope they would support you.

You have to expose everything to the light. Keep finding ways that he can be accountable to you. It's one foot in front of the other. It takes time and it is frustrating, but you can do it.

Have him give the phone back to his parents. Get a different phone if he needs one for his job and have the bills available to you online. You can see daily who he has called and also have the bill sent to your house.

Good luck with the pastor!

Remember - committed action!!!!