I ran into T. who used to work for my H. Both OW and T. worked for my husband at around the same time but T. left us about 1.5 years ago because she did not like the OW....she told me something I already knew....that she is a manipulator....she would bad mouth T. to other customers....and T. mentioned to me how one of her customers mentioned "are "H" and "OW" having an affair?<BR>and how she said to them "no, are you crazy?"<BR>But....my point is that other people were able to see that something was going on....but it took me so long to figure it out...how stupid of me....as far as I know, no one likes this woman, except, of course, for my husband.....how sick....How do you deal with a manipulator who acts as sweet as honey.....who, after I found out about the affair told my husband "I knew your wife never like me, from the beginning".....and she was right.....a wicked aura emanated from her very person that I simply did not like......I hate her

Hi SadFor,<P>I think the only way to deal with people like that is to NOT stoop to their level. And, to get as far, far away from them as you possibly can!!

Sadforever,<P>I know exactly what you mean. OB is a very skilled manipulator. He has figured out exactly what it takes to keep my W "in love" with him. I could write a book on the covert and overt means he used to get my wife.<P>Granted he's only 17, he has been on the street and in and out of jail since he was 14. I have a friend who walked this kids path at his age. He told me exactly what to expect. The kicker is my lovely, <B>HIGHLY</B> educated and cultured wife is absolutly blinded by his BS.<P>How to deal with it, I'm still working on that. I'm a skilled manipulator myself, but my W knows my tactics so I'm in the process of adjusting them. Read my future threads as I will reveal what I'm doing. Until then know that manipulators eventualy get caught at it and can't worm thier way out.<P>In your the tactics you choose keep your motives pure, I am.<P>Remember some people like to be manipulated.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>

Only <B>17</B>!?!?!?!?!!! ...where are this kid's <I>parents</I>?!?! ...what about the authorities? Isn't a relationship with a minor considered child abuse? I think a woman in Washington State went to jail for this... Your wife is definitely confused! I believe she must only be attracted to the youth and possibilities... classic betrayer escapism... Once she tires of his youthful enthusiasm she'll see only his immaturity and toss him aside...<P>Considering that the OP in your case is so young I think I'd feel sorry for them. No matter what a jerk they are, they're a kid and you know what? <I>They</I> don't know any better, they're just an immature, selfish, stupid kid... This kid hasn't had the life experience or time to develope their character, personality, morals, ethics, etc... Your wife <I>should</I> know better, as an adult!<P>In my situation XOW was also quite young. I also felt very sorry for the manner in which an obviously immature and naive person was used and abused by a manipulative and wiser adult (my XH). <P>If I were you I would stop blaming the OP and instead take a good hard long look at your wife. Yes, you may love her, yes, she may seem beautiful and good, but what does it say about her that she would involve herself with a child? It doesn't say anything good about her real personality, her character, or her morals/ethics... Sad to say the only real person you can blame in your situation (which is uncannily similar to what mine was) is your wife. The OP may be a manipulative and irritating a$$, but remember that he's a kid and as such the control, power, and dominant role in the relationship is, and always has been, your wife's...<P>Yikes! I actually feel sorry for what the kid will go through when he realises (as he gets older) the full ramifications of everything he's done and become involved with. My guess is he'll need a lot of therapy... Shame on your wife for using a child as her crutch... She's no better than a child abuser IMHO. <P>Don't take this as anything bad about you, WillamJ. It's not your fault she's like this. Manipulators/abusers are commonly able to fool people until they decide they don't need them any longer, and then they abruptly show their true colours... <P>So sorry!!! It almost feels like your wife & my XH are kindred spirits... <P>------------------<BR>~~ Elixir ~~<P>

One thing I've learned is age means absolutley nothing! I was 38 the OW was 20 and I was putty in her hands. I look back now and feel like a complete idiot. I can tell you the woman is a manipulator for sure. She feeds off it! She probably has a personality disorder. Watch "Fatal Attraction" again and you'll see the borderline-personality.

Elixir,<P>You are mistaken. This kid has been on the streets since he was 14 in and out of jail.<BR>He is a drug dealer and very street wise.<P>He has done time for smaqll time con jobs. His whole goal was to get my wife. I have a good friend that walked this kids path and told me what he is capable of.<P>Yes my Highly educated wife is hidding from what she has done. All three of us are to blame. Hell this kid even played me. You could say he caught me looking.<P>See some of my other posts for better explaination.<P>He could give a flying f@#k about me and my daughter. He sucks.<P>Didn't mean to steal your thread.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR>BB<BR>