To all my MB friends...

Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow. Although I celebrated mine in October, I want to wish everyone a great day. You are all wonderful people. For many of you this day will be difficult. Please remember that your family here at MB are with you.

One great thing about dual citizenship is I get to do this again...Yum.

{{{{group hug}}}}

Happy Thanksgiving to you too, SAB!
Thankfully - Hehe <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> - Thanksgiving is not celebrated here in Denmark so I don't associate that day with anything special. Btw I'm going to paint my new apartment tomorrow and friday - moving out of the house sunday - this will be a very busy week for me. I love it!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hugs to you everyone here and esp. you {{{{SAB}}}}

You are very kind, especially since we didn't do it first for you.

Since you have to work, I hope you have a very nice day, that the work is light enough so you can rest, but heavy enough that time passes quickly.

I haven't heard how things go at home with you lately - so here's to that continueing to improve also.

Lots of things I wonder about - but probably should leave you alone.

SS

Thank you my friends.

We are doing well. Struggling through recovery. My H is sick with the flu and trying to cope with finals and assignments. Each of us is trying to become a better person, therefore being a better couple. I'm continuing to work on me. Now that I've read Dr. Cloud's book on Boundaries in Marriage and Boundaries with Children that Star recommended, I realize that I have had problems with following through on boundaries and limits. Also, my H has had a problem with respecting boundaries of others yet freely sets boundaries for them. As a result our children have some of their own issues with boundaries that we are working through. We'll get there.

POJA is wonderful. Radical Honesty is difficult because of the conflicts that arise. We are working back to the intimacy stage. It will take some time but I'm positive and hopeful that we will get there. We love each other very much. We don't say it as much as we used to. But it is there.

One thing I did do when we hit bottom in September was put my wedding ring on my other hand. When he noticed it, I told him that hitting bottom made me realize that I was a person worth loving as a wife. When he is ready to love and commit to me fully as a husband, then he can put it back on my finger where it belongs. In the meantime, it reminds me to give him his space and to work on becoming the best person I can be.

On a different note...

Did you know that Canada celebrated Thanksgiving 43 years before the Pilgrims at Plymouth Rock?

In 1576, English explorer Martin Frobisher set out to find a northern passage that would lead him to the Orient. He attempted to establish the first English settlement in North America on what is now known as Baffin Island in Newfoundland. Frobisher decided to give thanks for surviving his journey to Canada and celebrated the first formal North American Thanksgiving long before the American one in 1621.

I just like the fact that I get to celebrate both.

Have a warm, safe holiday.

I am very happy that your marriage shows progress. I still wonder about your bad days, I understand you still struggle sometimes. Still praying for you.

Mostly I wonder if your H is at the point he cares for, and protects your feelings. You need that long term to make it with him. It is important he understand that.

Do you celebrate both thanksgivings the same?

I lived in Alberta for a couple of years a long time ago, and I believe most everyone there did about the same as the US thanksgivings. That's how I remember it anyway.

Still think you do a good job posting, glad for those you help. Don't ever think what you say is not important.

Blessings from God for you and your family.

SS

<small>[ November 29, 2003, 06:19 PM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>

Dear SS:

How are you my friend?

I am very happy that your marriage shows progress. I still wonder about your bad days, I understand you still struggle sometimes. Still praying for you.

I have very few bad days now. I still try to show him happiness and contentment. Radical honesty helps me when his behaviour becomes questionable. I let him know how it affects me and what I want instead. The one thing I miss is hearing "I love you" as much as I used to. When I do have bad days, I try to remember how far I've come since last spring and count my blessings. I act as if I am going to be married forever. I also thank G*D for all my friends here. I

Mostly I wonder if your H is at the point he cares for, and protects your feelings. You need that long term to make it with him. It is important he understand that.

He's getting there. He's finding out how much he has to unlearn.

Hi SAB, It's good to get an update from you.

How are you my friend?

I'm not sure how to answer that one today. I hurt, but I can still smile. Life is still mostly good.

I have very few bad days now. I still try to show him happiness and contentment. Radical honesty helps me when his behaviour becomes questionable. I let him know how it affects me and what I want instead. The one thing I miss is hearing "I love you" as much as I used to. When I do have bad days, I try to remember how far I've come since last spring and count my blessings. I act as if I am going to be married forever. I also thank G*D for all my friends here. I

We are thankful for you too, you are pretty high up on my list of thoughtful, successful people. I can see from your state of the marriage message that YOU are doing well. That is very encouraging and helps the smile stay on my face.

He's getting there. He's finding out how much he has to unlearn.

Most of us fit that description at one time or another. I have been there my self, and in fact, I still visit from month to month.

I suspect you look at love differently now than - say, a year ago. Love can be a lot of things.

Thanks for all the help you give to others both on and off these boards. I hope the holliday season is good to you, and to your marriage also. I hope your children are doing well, I know it helps them to have faith in their parents ability to care for them and protect them - and that is much easier to have when children know their parents love each other.


Happy thoughts to you,

SS

know it helps them to have faith in their parents ability to care for them and protect them - and that is much easier to have when children know their parents love each other

It's funny you said that. Last week our D13 walked in on us kissing. Needless to say she scrunched up her face and looked rather ill at seeing us. My H's comment to her was, "Hey would you rather have parents who love each other enough to make you sick or have parents who openly hate each other and get divorced?" After the year we've been through, hearing him say that shocked me. It was hard for me not to laugh. Our D however, picked the first but still looked sick to her stomach when she left the room LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> She'll get over it.

What are some of the issues you're having? You seem sad.

I have never met anyone yet that didn't have their share of problems. Maybe this week was my turn.

Sometimes it's hard to see solutions, and like many, I have a hard time sleeping during that searching period. Having prayed my heart out this morning, I feel much better. Decisions are made, but the work still needs to be done. Mostly business related problems.

I told my W today, that I will take care of her - and that us being together is what is important in life, all the other stuff - if it works out, is just bonus. For some reason she seems happy to hear that. I suspect you understand. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Yesterday I opened up this dialog box intending to post to you, but felt to wait. Glad I did, my attitude is much better today. When I say personal relationships are most important, it includes the one I have with God. W and I have an understanding that what God wants comes first, and we try to live so as to show we believe that.

Today I got reassurance that God lives, and that he cares about me. I have my directions, and I intend to follow them. Life may be hard, but it is good also. Thanks for asking.

SS

PS, about the kissing. We do the same, and the younger kids all say it is gross. We ignore them. Funny, but the married kids don't say a thing.

<small>[ December 04, 2003, 02:45 PM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>

Merry Christmas to you. I hope you have a wonderful day and week.

SS