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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 236
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 236 |
me and wife has been separated for 5 months at times it was going well. wife wanted space and it was hard for me to give it to her.then things started changeing she always wanted me to take the kids.i ask her was something going on she lied telling me she needs space. i was out with the guy and i caught her with this guy she lied that some thing is going on but i know something is. she always gets home late from work she leaves the kids home alone. what can i do to get my wife back and be with my family this affair is tearing up my family. and how do i get her to tell me. we do live apart does that give a better chance to keep having the affair.what do i do. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
First you read all about Plan A. You can find it by searching under Plan A, or read John39's post, or Too Much Coffee Man's posts. Your wife sounds like she may be having an affair. The signs are there. When they are having an affair, they are like drug addicts, they deny, act very crazy, etc. Keep posting here and you will get lots of help and comfort.
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 236
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 236 |
which plan sould i do plan a or plan b. we are not living to geter <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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You start with Plan A for a few months, then go to Plan B before you start losing your love for her. It is miserable at first, but gets better. Work on yourself during this time, and try not to focus so much on her. Get a life of your own, exercise, spend time with kids and make your marriage an attractive alternative. Most WS's come back to marriage, but in the mean time, it's a real drag. Hang in there and don't give up.
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,166
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Joined: May 2002
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Yeah, start with Plan A. Read the link in my signature line.
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Joined: Nov 2003
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is it good to start with plan a. wife does not want to talk to me or want me near her. she is acting very mean and iam giving her space we are not living together she does not call me. how do i get her from being with the om when he is her coworker. which plan do try. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
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Joined: Nov 2003
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 236 |
and she also lies about it. she is not trying to talk.how would i know when she is stop seeing the other man. when i dont see her much now. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
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Joined: Nov 2003
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my wife does not want to talk to me at or be around me should i start with plan b we are not living with each other.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Posts: 27,069 |
Start in Plan A. If you see her be nice and don't criticise, question, or talk about your marriage. In the meantime, start working on yourself to be a better person. You just have to get some emotional detachment and go on with your life. It is extremely hard to do. Go out with friends, exercise and work on any problems that she identified. Try to take care of yourself, and don't obsess about her. Act like you are going on with your life. Give it some time, and see what happens. Good luck.
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Joined: Nov 2003
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Joined: Nov 2003
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are there any sample plan a letters.
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Joined: Sep 2003
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
In Plan A, you don't send a letter. See Toomuchcoffeeman's or John39's posts for link, or search under Plan A and Plan B. There is nothing you can do right now to get your wife back. When you do see her, do Plan A. When they are with someone else, they don't think of spouse's feelings, and they don't care. But this can be a temporary condition. Until then, keep working on yourself, you can get through this, and you have come to the right place.
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Joined: Jan 2002
Posts: 6,950
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Joined: Nov 2003
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will it be a good idea to send a letter to her job to let the company know. i know this will get her fired but this the only way to get them apart.
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 198
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For once I don't agree with Believer - if you're not living together then Plan A may have to be a letter. If you have no other way of communicating what you want to say then there is little choice.
<small>[ December 02, 2003, 04:23 AM: Message edited by: lovesaved ]</small>
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Joined: Nov 2003
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thanks. anyone else with ideas. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
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Joined: Nov 2003
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 236 |
my wife is acting like she is crazy withthe bad word and i did the same. my mother told me i sould file for d under she is haveing affair. what do you guys think. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 444
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Stay calm!! Do not make any far reaching decissions now. Follow the advice you have got on this tread. If you believe then pray! Are there others close to her you can notify, such as parents and friends? I would not have her fired if I were you.
Stay calm!! Stay calm!!
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Joined: Nov 2003
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Joined: Nov 2003
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Joined: Nov 2003
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frank how do i get them apart.
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Joined: Nov 2003
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lovesaved can you give me that letter again.
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