It's not getting better for me, it's still so hard. My husband still refuses to admit to anything, & I still have my suspicions that it may have been my best friend. I am afraid to say anything to her, so I have pretty much avoided her, and when she did ask me how I was doing, I started to tell her how I was still hurting & her cell phone went out. She didn't call back until later that night when she just ask me for a favor. What can I ask her? If I ask her if she has been involved w/H, I know she would just deny it as well, although I might be able to tell if she was lying. I feel so betrayed, on so many levels and I think I am being passive aggressive. My H did agree, but very reluctantly to going to a MC. I haven't told him yet that I made an appointment after the New Year. I just couldn't make it during the holidays. The last time we talked about anything, it was after sex & I couldn't get into it(sex) as much as I would have liked and afterwards I started to ask him questions about our sex life, he was very nice and said it was "just fine", that he was happy. I then started to blame myself and say things that weren't very flattering about myself. He didn't know what to say, and then he started to dress.
I know I need to start reading SAA. I just find that I keep busy doing everything else, especially now with christmas, but I'm so not into the holidays.
How do I get through the holidays, with all this inside? YUCK!
Well, happy holidays to everyone. I wish you all peace of mind.
gigi

Hi there,

I haven't got much time but the next time you talk with your "Best friend", how about telling her about your "great sex life".

You might want to tell her, how great your husband is being to you and all the "future plans" you both have.

Don't forget to mention to her how "great" your husband finds your "sex life" and that he just cannot leave his hands from you.

I'd make sure to tell her this "face to face" just to see how she reacts.

Don't show yourself "sad and sobby".

So if you are afraid to ask her "directly" you might want to try this way, so that you can see her reaction. Watch her very closely.


Then you have to listen to your "gut".

If there is something going on, it's surely going to "shake her up".


take care
bb

Gigi - first of all let me say I'm sorry to hear of your situation. I've read your post and there are a couple of things that came to mind .. You are not entirely sure that your husband has had an affair. It does sound like it.. but IMHO you need to get a little more proof .. I was thinking one way you could find out is to call the Hotel to where you found the receit and tell them that your husband stayed there on such and such day and was wondering if you could get a copy for tax purposes. If he WAS indeed registered then you know something more concrete to approach him with. If not then ask if your "Best" friend was registered ...

You also might want to check phone records ect ect ... thought these things might help you out a little.. again I'm sorry to hear of your situation ..

Asking her without evidence isnt going to get you anywhere...And you will no tknow if she is lying or not.
I know this because Ive been there my friend...Its hard and you have been betrayed twice fold...You need to know for sure , if ther eisnt a affair then your torturing yourself for nothing, if there has been one then you have to start tsking steps to heal yourself. This is all such a mess and at the holidays it makes things so much worse..I wish you well IM gonna take sometime and go red your other threads Ive been away awhile because the holidays are huge triggers for me..

Thanks Blondblossom, Lost & Confused and Hurtmorethanheknows for all your advice & comments, even for just reading my thoughts.
It has been hard this holiday. But especially just after xmas as every year after xmas, my WH goes up to his (male) friend's house and a bunch of them hang out for about 3-4dys. Just drinking, commraderie, out to eat and watching movies. But this year, I've had a real hard time with him gone. I just don't get it, I usually use this time to do stuff with the kids or something for myself, but all I do is think of him and what he is doing, was doing or going to be doing. I cried alot this last 3 days, I just can't stop. I pray to God to help to free me of this awful feeling and help me to start to heal, but I think this will be impossible because how can you heal if you haven't been confirmed with an injury??? His denial will keep me a prisoner.
Oh yeah, I'm also sick with a terrible throat infection so maybe that has something to do with the terrible feelings I'm having as well. Maybe I'm clinically depressed. I have read in posts that sometimes anti-depressants help you go through this all.
I will try and get the courage to call the hotel for a copy of the receipt. I am usually relentless and aggressive when it comes to dealing with businesses and getting what I want fixed or taken care of, but I have been so hesitant in calling the hotel, not sure why.
My best friend - the one that is possible the OW, has invited herself & husband to the NY Eve party we will be going to. YUCK! Now I will be monitoring her & husband. I've invited my confidante & her fiance to the party, maybe we can all have a good laugh. Husband bought me a gold and diamond bracelet, I heard they sometimes do that, it's the guilt. Never before has he bought me such nice things.
I pray every chance & try to give this up to God, but I think when I do that I need to stop thinking about it - and I just cant seem to shake it. My 85y/o mom lives with us, this seems to make it harder, as I have been pretty snippy with my kids and mom, I do tell them I'm not feeling well, the kids just look at me like I'm nuts.
I will tell husband probably after new years day that I have made an appt w/ MC for us to go. I don't know what the reaction will be. On the day I confronted him 11/29, he said he would do it for me, but he's against it. I didn't want to go during the holidays, so I made it for 1/9, but haven't mentioned it. It is so hard to talk to him regarding my feelings, what I think, he now just gets mad.
Well maybe I'm feeling too sorry for myself - I would love to just get on with my life and feel secure & happy like I did before 11/29. I don't know if I'm up for the fight just right now.
Got to go. Thanks for letting me air, I'm down to only one good friend to talk to, the other is probably talking to my husband.
I Appreciate you all and your suggestions & comments.
Love & peace!
Gigi