Two years ago my husband and I separated for 3 months due to a domestic violence situation which he was arrested.During the 3 month separation apparently he had 3 affairs,all in which he met on the internet chatting.When we got back together I didn't know all this.Two weeks after the children(3)and I moved back home is when he started telling me about all of them.He was still involved with them all but one in perticular.She started calling all the time and he'd go talk to her on the porch in private,he would fly to Chicago to visit her(she'd pay for it all).He left me and the children 6 times within 3 months to visit her.She even showed up at my front door,he took me in the bedroom so she couldn't see,he kissed me and told me he loved me then walked out the door to go away with her for a weekend.This went on for the first 8 months we were back together but they have since stopped visiting but still chat 2-3 times a month. I thought everything was fine and we were getting along so great then last June he told me he was in love with someone else and that he loved me but wasn't in love with me and he was her.He would leave the house when I got home from work and be out until am hours talking with her on his cell phone.Apperently the affair started in March but he didn't tall me anything.He would sit and chat with her all day and in the evening.They hung out together in a chat room and thats how they met.In July 03 he left me and the children again to meet this lady in Ohio he went there twice.After the 2nd visit she apperently went back to her husband and broke it off with mine, so he says anyway.Then he was all over me again telling me he knew it wasn't going to work and she knew it too and that he loved me and missed me and the kids. Within 2 weeks he was getting involved with someone else again.I could tell by the signs.That didn't last very long.Then 3weeks later he told me he was thinking about going to CA.to visit his mom for awhile,well I found out he was planning to meet someone else he met in his chat room (I have a little secret way of finding out without him knowing I know)but he didn't know that I knew what was going on.Two days after he told me about CA he found out from a friend in the chat room that she was a con and that she gets guys to sent her money.He told me all about her as far as what his friend told him and he was so shocked(he didn't know I knew about their little net chat affair).He was telling me how everyone in the chat room was so shocked to hear about her and they told him they were sorry. I thought sorry for what,then it dawned on me.They were sorry there relationship didn't work out.Again this whole time he's treating me like nothings going on and everything with us is fine and great. Well last night we got into a big argument.What sparked it was I was watching him from our kitchen which is about 10 feet away from where he sits chatting.He was drinking.He saw me and said your worried arnt you? I walked over to him and immediately he got defensive. I bent over and said no not worried just concerned and I told him I didn't understand the facination with chatting and he said "good don't start". He was so on edge.I've noticed he's been chatting in the evening with the same person now for the past few days.Last night wasn't any different, he minimized her when I approched him and I asked him if there was someone else now, he said no and that he had nothing to hide.I asked him to pull her up (the one he was chatting with) but he wouldn't,then he said it was the X in Ohio.(I didn't believe him but I didn't say that)Which just made the argument worse.He chats 24-7 he doesn't work,I've been supporting the 5 of us for many years.Let's put it this way I realized the other day he's had 6-7 workmans comp claims in less than 10 years.So I've pretty much floated the boat for along time.The past two years he hasn't worked all he does is chat,he even chats during dinner.I don't know what to do.While we were arguing he told me he wanted to leave and that he's done everything within him to make our marriage better.How can he even say that when he's chatting all the time and is too busy with other people and working on their relationship while I'm cooking dinner or taking the children somewhere.Just an hour before the argument he hugged me and told me he loved me, he even started dinner which amazed me.We have been getting along so good,we never argue.He told me last night he didn't want me anymore and that we were done.When he's done this in the past there's been someone else.He's always told me that he will never be alone. We've been married 18 years this month(28th).Nice anniversary gift.I'm sure it wont matter to him anyway.I don't feel very well.I've been through so much this past few months.I'm lost this situation has totally drained me I don't know what to do.I couldn't sleep last night.I got ready for work this morning and he was up at 04:30 chatting already.I walked out into the kitchen we didn't say anything to each other.About an hour later when I was leaving for work(I stayed in the bedroom until it was time to leave)I said "goodmorning by the way"and I asked him if he could get our 16 year old up at 6am. I had to leave earlier because last night he told me to take the bus to work today instead of using his car like I have been(mines in the shop).I said see ya later,he said bye! no hug, kiss nothing.This is so hard because we've always been so affectionate with each other always touching even our feet in bed at night,except last night.I'm totally crushed and I'm having a hard time believing his is happening again.I'm still healing from the past and we were doing so well, we never fought,our main problem has been financial and thats taken its toll.What do I do????????I can't even function or think right.He's done it again and I can't uproot my kids again and he wont leave he has no money.He playes all their love songs but I think he's playing them for someone else now.....
devistated..........
