I found out that my husband was having an affair with our nanny since the end of october. I discovered thier emails on Decenber 10th, this is the second time. I found him having an affair with my good friend back in March of this year. I am torn apart. We have only been married for 3 years and he has has 2 affairs in the past six months. We have a 2 year old son and I am at a loss. I want to leave him because I can't go thorugh this again and I have a large hole of emptiness when it comes to our love. We went to counseling ah=fter the first one and nowe I feel that was all crap. He did it again and I saw the signs so I started looking and found out. I feel like I should give him a chance for us and our son but I will never again let him in to hurt me like this so where will that leave us. I probably will be better off leaving him. I have such a feeliing of disgust and distrust and lack of the love feeling now. I have a hollow feeling of indifference. He says it is hids problem and we will go again to counseling but I feel like all that is crap and he will not do what he says anyway. I am so lost as to what to do. Can anyone offer some advise. Ohh and he begged me to watch our son so he could go shoppong for my xmas presents and guess what he was out with her. Nice isn't it. The two of them shopping and just picking me up something as an after thought!!!!

What a scum bag.......at christmas......what a scum bag! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> He sounds like the type that will never be faithful.

Don't do anything that you would regret. I would do 180 degrees. NO LB. Just listen to his promises, ask him what he will do if he breaks his promise. Everytime he break his promise, put the ammend/bar higher. Sonner or later he has no excuse ... either working on M or let you go. Make him call MB or cerri and set up appointment and ask him what is the time line ?. Let it be immidiate. No LB but a list of ammends that he is willing to do plus put it in writing or record the conversation.

Hang in there ... -rh-

What makes this guy scummier than most is that he has preyed upon a close friend and a nanny. He doesnt even have the CHEATERS decency to at least have an affair with total strangers. This guy is an AZZ and there is no excuse in my book. I would NOT give him another chance......child or not. Uhhhhhhhh this burns me up! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I asked him why the nanny? He said he doesn't know it just happened. She has been with us for 18 months but this just started in october. He says it doesn't have to do with a lack of love for me it is just sex, something new and removed from his real world problems. He says this but why the dates to the movies and meeting her on his off day in the park with our son for a day out while I am at work. If it is just sex then why not do it and leave. I am really hurt and confused. I hate him for doing this to me again. We went to couseling and I trusted that he would hold his promise and it wasn't 6 months later he was having another affair. I knew it too. I saw the signs. I had to investigate and find the calls and the emails that were sent to secret addresses and nude pictures she sent him. I really am sickened by it and the fact that it ruined what I thought we had taken steps to repair as well as our Chriatmas. I don't trust that anything he got me was for me. He spent more time at the movies then he did thinking about what he was getting me for Christmas. He says he was alone when he shopped but again I don't believe him. I hate this it is so depessing. I am trying to put ona happy face so as not to ruin our sons Christmas but it is very hard. I just want to crawl in a hole and wait for the holidays to be over because they mean nothing to me now. I am scared and lost.

Im not trying to make you feel any more down leeann, but this issue has MUCH more to do with than just the holidays......this is in my book a point where your life can take a serious and most definate change. Also, that comment about just for SEX is terrible!!!! This comment is another thing to lead me to believe your WH will not change.......if he has to have SEX with other women to be complete. He is a liar and cant be trusted its quite obvious. I know I could not deal with it. Anyhow, God bless you and I pray you hang in there. Remember this has more to do with the rest of your life, than just the christmas holiday. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Leeann:
<strong>He says he was alone when he shopped but again I don't believe him. I hate this it is so depessing. I am trying to put ona happy face so as not to ruin our sons Christmas but it is very hard. I just want to crawl in a hole and wait for the holidays to be over because they mean nothing to me now. I am scared and lost. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Tell him you worry w/o LB'ng. Don't hide your hurt but don't leash on him. Let him see the hurt that he has cause.

He needs help, he is philanderer wanna be ...

Situation are thrust upon you, it is how you deal with it. I would really suggest you to go out there, get a make over, buy a sexiest dress that you are comfortable wearing ... pampered yourself !. He is not capable to love you now, shooping therapy & make over would cheer you up. Let him take care of the kids.

Hang in there ...

-rh-

I realize it is more then the holiday but the holiday is adding to it if you know wha I mean. I don't think I can do this again because I do not believe he will change because he said so the first time and obviously he didn't. It hurts so much more this time because of the lies and stuff after all the counseling we went to. I now fell he lied to me then and was only saying things to not ripple the waters and then went back to his old ways. How can I ever believ anything he says or does ever again with all the lies and promises broken. It sucks to use a juvenile term. I left for a day with our son and it really didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. I told him I would try but there was no guarentees that I would be ablt to do it. He says he is going to go to another shrink and find out why he does this when he loves me so much. I think its crap in the back of my mind and I also think I should try but I am so hanging by a thin, thin thread.

redhat I have tried to do that. I am doing things alone and it seems okay. I just feel inadeqaute and not wanted. The other women are by far not beauty queens although younger then me I still have more to offer so why was he so attracted to them? My counselor says it isn't what I did but I feel that way. I am going to get my hair and nails done after xmas and now that our son is in day care I am going to gym. It will help me I think to recover some of my own self esteem.

You go girl ... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . A is really an selfesteem crusher ... One thing you have to remember, it is not about you, it is about him and his selfishness. A is not about the OP either !. OP just happen to be available and willing <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> .

Make yourself attractive, show your best features and stop da' traffic ... show him what he is missing ... LOL!.

Is he a Christian ? you might want to send him to everymansbattle ...

-rh-