... what I might expect timeline wise??

Its been a month. I've read what DrH says about withdrawal period and things have got much better in that respect...he doesn't want to call her anymore and is starting to see that she isn't this perfect person who would complete him. He seems to be falling out of love with her and into love again with me.

I'm not in complete shock anymore.. still losing some weight (but that's not a terrible thing as I'm overweight) but more slowly now. I don't feel like I'm going to break down and cry or laugh hysterically in the frozen food aisle anymore. I'm starting to do more normal things again.

Where do we go from here? I keep reading about the time immediately after D-day and about a year or two after, but there doesn't seem to be much advice about the in between stuff. What should we be doing now? I feel like I'm floundering a little.

Also I'm a little scared about what will happen after the holidays. DH has had most of the past month off work and has been at home. He has until the New Year off but is then back at work full-time since D-Day. The OW works there )o: What will happen once we go back to our regular routines... him at work, me at home with the kids?

Any ideas? Advice?

Have you read this article:Recovery After an Affair?

The books, "Surviving an Affair" and "Torn Asunder" are also good.

Oh, ans he needs a new job where he is NOT working with OW!

Timeline-wise, everyone is different. I've read a minimum of two years, I've read twice as long as the affair itself lasted...the fact is it will take you two as long as it takes you, but I think most people will tell you it takes at least a year to feel somewhat settled again. That doesn't mean you will feel awful all that time though...

Hang in there-

Kathi

<small>[ December 24, 2003, 12:21 PM: Message edited by: kam6318 ]</small>

Hi Kathi, thank you for your reply. I've started reading the link you gave but haven't had time to finish it with two excited children around waiting for Santa to come.

He can't change job at the moment. He is on a visa that only allows him to work at one company. The only other alternative is for us to emigrate and we don't have the money to do it right now. One of my conditions for working on the marriage long term is that he finishes applying for his green card so that he can change job if he has to. I really wish he could leave his job... it feels like come january I will be sending him to the Lions Den. He doesn't have to see her, but she is in the next building across the parking lot which is far too close IMO.

The link in my signature line addresses your question of what to do now.