When the OM has a totally different look. I had always thought that I was what my wife wanted. I am slim in build (a distance runner in HS and college) but slowly balding. The OM is NOT slim and grey... which by the way is what her father is like.

How do I know that physically I am enough/what for what my wife wants?? As a guy, physical looks were important when we dated. I was the first nice guys that she has dated. The OM is definitely not.

We currently are doing well. Seeing a MC and she hasn't seen him for 2 months. BUT I can't get it out of my head that I am not going to satisfy her physically. I also know that I am driving her crazy with my needyness (sp?). I constantly need to touch her or know that she is near me.

Help??

(Ladies feel free to jump in and comment)

I dont believe that looks have any importance. I think that the mind is the most important thing and thats what attracted me to my H. I do think that she needs to stay in the MC. Me and my H are not going to MC yet, but we plan too and until then we are both using MB to help us. (I was the one that had the A). I dont think you should worry about what you look like physically. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I constantly need to touch her or know that she is near me.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Stay with that, cause she needs to know that she still find her attractive and that you still need her. Also, I have found that going up to my H and just giving him a hug, kiss, or just a little wisper of I love you has really helped him realize that I only want to be with him. (she may need to read some of the posts on MB so she can help you through this.

I dont know if this helped you much, but I wish 2 the best.

Golum - Never even worry about it again. It has nothing to do with looks. My H's OWH is 15 years younger, cute, cute, cute, a great guy, loving father, and hard worker. He worked 2 jobs, plus was in the reserves so that she could be a stay-at-home mom.

When OWH was called up for active duty, she waited a week before she started looking for someone else. She chose my H who is older, 80 pounds overweight, wants to retire and does nothing around the house. Well he does have a nice Harley, which seems to be part of the draw.

So don't obsess about it. When WS gets to the point of looking to meet their needs outside of marriage, they tend to grab the first person who smiles at them.

Keep reading here and posting, you will get lots of support.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> When WS gets to the point of looking to meet their needs outside of marriage, they tend to grab the first person who smiles at them.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is exactly what my husband said. You take the first thing that is offered. My husband did not actively look for someone, But when OW showed up at his office, invited him over, and he was feeling like our marriage problems were irreverable, he fell into the trap of infidelity.

H says I am better looking than OW even though I am 5 years older. Others that know her say she is just so-so, not really attractive at all. But she was available and offering.

I do understand your feelings though. You feel like your spouse is not attracted to you, that something is wrong with you. When if fact, it is something wrong inside your spouse. They are looking for something to make them feel better.