<BR>A song came on the radio today and my 5 year old started crying, when I asked her what was wrong she said it reminded her of her daddy, later in the day she was crying and my oldest daughter 20 talked with her and my 5 yr old told her it was because the other day, H had said to OW , "Honey , I think this needs to be our song" and the 5 yr old was sitting on her lap. Tonite when she was talking about going to her dad's tomorrow, she was telling how nice OW is,,,,"She doesn't yell at me, she is really nice, when I make a mess she says Honey don't worry about it I'll clean it up. and then she went on to tell me that OW really loves daddy very much. I simply said "Oh, really", then I left the bathroom and came here. My attorney contacted me today we have the provisional hearing next tuesday and she said to be prepared it could go into the final hearing because he filed over 90 days ago. Somebody wake me UP please........I hate this nightmare and now I hate the song Amaze by Lonestar!!!!!!! All the books I read say,,Affairs don't last.......but several people I talk to keep telling me of couples that stay together. I guess I want to move on, but knowing I can't fully move on because we have the kids and I have to see him for the rest of my life. Everytime I see him or hear my kids talk about him I feel like dying, time is suppose to heal all wounds , but when the kids talk about her or him it pulls the scabs off and I start bleeding all over. How do you all deal with this?

cbs,<P>You really do have a some bumps in the road to handle. I feel for you.<P>Do you still love your husband? That would make the healing process tougher. I know you love your kids, and it's important that you maintain your relationship with them, in spite of the OW. You are their mother and will not be replaced, no matter how well the OW treats them.<P>You will get over your husband. Your kids will remain loyal to you.

I don't know if I still love my husband or not because the man I married wouldn't have acted like this,,,,,so who am I loving....or should I say WHAT am I loving. I am commited to making my marriage work, unfortunately I have been unable to this point to alter the outcome of him leaving. I want so much to restore my marriage and the have a better relationship with him ,(not that I realized anything was bad before) I want to help him through whatever I can , to help him find himself the person I used to know, of course OW has a shallow altered version of that person and gets all his attention so I'm sunk, I wish I didn't care,,,I wish I could say Yep he left , boy did I luck out! But, that's not the case and everything I hear , everything my kids say run darts thru me.

cbs,<BR>I could almost have written your post. The first time they went to the OW's house, my six year old came home and told me that the OW gave her candy, mended her dress, and told her she loved her. Last night my H told our oldest daughter, who has never met the OW, that she is not an evil person, that she is very nice to the little kids. This is a woman who answered a personal ad from a married man with six kids. That certainly qualifies as evil in my book. He has been gone for six months, living with her full-time for 3, and showing no signs of the affair ending. If this is supposed to get easier, I wish it would hurry up.

Nellie, Our situation sometimes runs parallel, My H affair came out in Oct. so it won't be long until it's a year. Ahhhhhh! What a nightmare. H came and got the 3 and 5 year old today the 9 year old was in school, when he brought them home he went and fed and watered the dog my daughter said and told her the next time he comes he will clean the kennel and replace the bedding. How nice....ick The kids prayed tonite at dinner mommy and daddy would work thru their problems and never mentioned OW tonite.Yea!!! I guess the last thing I would do if I wanted out would be clean the dog kennel. We go to court Tues for a provisional hearing, I keep hoping that he'll change his mind. But, FAT chance guess they are really happy over there across town. It helped tonite because the kids hardly spoke of their visit and my 5 year old has been really really huggy toward me tonite. Hasn't mentioned how nice OW is.

cbs,<BR>Ever since my 7 year old came home from the weekend at the OW's, she has been hugging me constantly, and telling me how much she loves me - literally at least 30 or 40 times at day. She tends to do everything to excess, but this is excessive even for her. <P>Their father has decided to visit them only one evening a week instead of two; didn't bother telling them that, and today he took them to dinner and spent a grand total of a little over an hour with them - guess he had to get back before curfew.

Well, the kids just got off the phone with their dad and OW and the 5 year old says "I love you too" to the OW. STAB STAB into my back the other two didn't talk to her. The girls did ask about her daughter though. One big happy family,,,.Hey , do you suppose that she would want me to have her daughter over here,,,the girls would love it...well heck since I'm home most evenings I could just babysit her daughter while they're at work. What'd ya think???? NOT!!!! But, I wonder how she would feel with me earning her daughters affection.

I let my daughter go with her step sisters to their mother's house. But I wasn't the OW, either.<P>But, when my first husband married the OW, I would have let her kids come to my house, and they would have realized that I was not at all like their mother was painting me as! She was too fearful of the truth to let that happen.<P>***<BR>My grandson is 6, and his parents have been divorced for a year - and mom lives with the OM. While visiting with my son in CA, we went to my grandson's soccer practice and stopped by my daughter-in-law's afterwards. The distance between my grandson and the OM is apparent. <P>My grandson marks events through songs, just like the 5 year old you are describing. Breaks my heart.