My husband told me he met this woman on the internet. She was nice, kind, and was telling him beautiful things. She has suggested that they meet but he has been holding on.. and didn't want to meet her. Since things have not been so bright with us in a couple of months. Money, career, school.. everything seemed to be going crazy. I knew the signs but I ignored it, as if I tell myself he doesn't pay attention to, and I will not pay attention to him. He told me was talking to that woman since July, but she became attached and so did he. He didn't tell her he was married. ANyways he finally met up with her..and at the same time lying to me about where he was. He came home that night.. looking nervous and red eyes, I thought he was just mad or deppressed about something. For some reason, I was nice and comforting like I used to be. I know I haven't been the nicest person around for months. That night I was.... the morning after he met that woman.. the sunday.. he came to me in bed and held me. He started to cry and told me.. "you know there are times that I was not very nice to you.. and I reply the same." and we held each other.
On Monday, he couldn't hold it anymore. He told me everything. I went HYSTERICAL.. I wanted to DIE!!!!!!!!!! I automatically thought about leaving and taking my first flight out to my mother who lives in teh states. I called his parents and they came over.. he looked at me and asked for forgiveness.. and that he didn't even reach sexual peak with that woman. He tell me details.... I wanted to know.. maybe its hurts but I WANTED TO KNOW!
We went through hell that week...I wanted to forgive him.. but he knew some of his sexual and emotional needs were not being met.. but they were not complete with that woman either.
We started to talk.. and we talked about a lot of things. WE've become closer and CLOSER these past week. I have also been reading so much from Marriage Builders.. it helps somuch we were both reading. We want to make our marriage work. He will not seek contact with that woman, but also we are moving to the states so that we can have a breath of fresh air and make our dreams together come true. He realized that I am the woman for him a second time.. and me... I am left somewhat in rut. I love this man.. I don't think I would ever be able to forgive this. I always say I WOULD NEVER Forgive .. but I am. I want to meet his sexual and emotional needs. WHich he tells me all the time what he wanted, I just never do them. I am too shy, scared, ... or its my insecurity. I have a high desires, its not that.. I am insecure somewhat. I have lost more 32 lbs just to feel good about myself, not for him, but for me because I know I could turn him on.
The woman he went out with is huge and not as pretty as me he says. and the whole time he was thinking about me and couldn't properly erect!
I just want to make my marriage work. I'm 22 and he about to turn 31 and we have both high sexual desires. He is more emotional than I am.
He is also taking responsibility for cheating and not telling me that it was my fault and that I wasn't meeting his needs. It's after I read all these things from Marriage Builders I realized... I wasn't meeting much of his needs.
ANy comments? What do you think? Do I need therapy and try to be more open about my sexual desires? It's crazy, I like all these things he suggest that we do.. I want to do them. It's just that I am somewhat ashamed that I shouldn't do it.
