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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 37
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 37 |
I'm considering contacting the OP. I have his email address and can probably find out his phone number.
Are there things I should avoid when making contact with him.
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 8,016 |
Are there things I should avoid when making contact with him.
Yeah. The main thing to avoid when contacting him is any contact with him.
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,541
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 2,541 |
HRB
Normally its best to not contact the OP.
What are your circumstances? By that how long was the affair? Is it still going on? How long have you known?
What is your wayward spouse's attitude towards honesty regarding the affair?
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 1,393
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 1,393 |
I guess I have a few ?? too.
Why do you want to contact the OP?
Is it for yourself and to help you??
I felt a deep deep need to talk to the OW and was not satisfied until I did.
I think that if you are doing this to help you in recovery than it is ok but if you are doing it out of vengance or spite it may not be a good idea.
I needed to let the OW know who I was and how I felt about what had happened I felt for me it would help to ensure NC if she knew that I was still in love with my H and wanted to work on my M.That way if he tried to contact her with a different story she knew the truth to how I felt.Also I was able to get a feel on how she felt about my H,the A and her own M.
Hope this helps a little.
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 37
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 37 |
I'm in plan A.
She's is still seeing the other man.
He's fulfilling her needs that we lost and failed to meet along the way.
Affair has gone on for about 2 months.
Myself and the other Man's wife have know for over 2 weeks.
The other M is married - 3 children, and they are filing for sepeartion.
My wife wants to go the same route and our house is currently up for sale.
I love her terribly, and have told her how I feel and I am working at filling some of her needs.
I was wondering if contact with the OM would benefit and maybe put some stress on their relationshp.
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 79
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Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 79 |
HRB...I contacted the OM immideatley when I foud out. He had the so what answer for everything. I threatened him with everything..beating..financial ruin..whole works. I can not say if it helped my relationship..but it did allow me to blow off some steam I had for him. My WW was sitting in our living room while I talked to him. I knew him well since he was a friend before all of this. As it stands today..if I see him out..there will be an immediate misunderstanding. I know that is not popular here to do this, but it is something that if it happens...happens. No..I am not going looking for him and will not, but if that chance meeting happens so be it. His answers to all of my questions were "oh well"..."so what"..real cool guy there.
<small>[ February 03, 2004, 10:09 AM: Message edited by: KarlM ]</small>
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 37
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Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 37 |
By contacting the OM, it sounds like it's not really going to help.
and I'm not sure if I'll feel any better by doing so.
It just feels I have to do something more drastic to make this come to an end.
With the house up for sale, things seem to be coming to an end in our realtionship sooner than later. (out of sight out of mind)
any suggestions ?
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