Recently Oprah has been having shows on that talk about Inifdelity but hardly get to the heart of the matter. Though I support her and appreciate her talent I know she is only scratching the surface when it comes to Infidelity. If this site has helped you deal with Infidelity in any way, and you hope to see the Harley's on her show ask her producers to ask Dr. Harley to appear on a panel about saving marriages at this link: E-MAIL THE PRODUCERS Thanx <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Freetobe, this is a really great idea. I too think Oprah has done a whole lot of good and she is sooooooo influential, but I'm not sure she understands the depths of pain of infedelity or the whole "fog" thing (that the couple seems to be in), etc. I don't know. She works with alot of people and is awfully sharp and insightful when it comes to human nature, so I am wondering is she herself is trying to understand the mind of the adulterer, etc. She mentioned so many times about how they weren't "connected," almost as if she herself is working through a personal understanding or something.

I don't know. I am probably way off base, but I think it'd be great if people wrote and Oprah had some future shows in which she really "condemned" infedelity (not the people... not in a mean way, etc... but really talked about how truly heinous it is... to the spouse, the kids, and society as a whole). And talked about things like recovery, etc. But honestly, you can't just talk about the reasons for the affair.... you also have to get the person to see how wrong it is for them to be having the affair period. There was none of that on today's show. It was all about the reasons for the affair and all about how the husband and OW are not a "bad" people. In the end, I found it almost ironic that Oprah so prolifically thanked them for being there! They received thanks for sharing their "blissful" story of their affair. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I will write to that site that you provided.

TO anyone cheacking in please look <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> at Top post, would you post to Oprah to invite the Harley's at above link.

TO: Love-my-ex I must agree with you. Oprah is one of those talk show host that I normally attribute to being responsible and well prepared when it comes to putting issues out to the public. I even consider her an educator because usualy she brings knowledge to the forefront of her discussions. However, lately she has been very limited in making a full discussion about Infidelity. She usually puts an issue out there then has a professional to talk it over and discuss the problem, its aspects and solutions.

Lately it is like she has just been putting it out there and leaving people to make there on interpretation of how Infidelity works. Perhaps her mission in discussing with actual couples who are in it is not to educate but just to get their point of view or maybe she is on the brink of getting at discussing it in greater detail.

I'm not sure what her motivation is but I do know that she treats other issues with greater importance. You know when it comes to her discussing LOSING weight or MAKING more Money she actually gives almost a lecture with notes on a projectile on the show. But when it comes to discussing INFIDELITY-A FAMILY-SOCIETAL ISSUE she almost takes a 'Ricki Lake' like look at it. That Put it out there, put the audience in awe, leave the audience in an uproar, wondering like-approach.

But isn't Infidelity and Saving marriagess/relationships as important as making more money and losing weight? Heck yeah!

Maybe this is an oversight or perhaps she isn't aware of the full aspects of Infidelity and the seriousness of it. I don't know. Yet I totally support her and give her the benefit of the doubt.

I sent off an email. I think Oprah regards affairs as most people do who have never gone through this. If someone is so unhappy in their marriage that they succumb to an affair, then maybe that marriage should be ended. But people don't realize that when faced with the fact that their partner is cheating, they may not want to leave.
It really would be interesting to get the Harleys on her show. It is a different way of looking at affairs and would promote the idea that a marriage can recover and flourish after an affair.

I've already posted on the first thread about this subject...here's the gist of it again...

I read the following story over on another board (ie. not here at MB)...

Oprah's first show about infidelity was sometime last fall or December...a woman was on there, recently found out, with her WH...(now that's something huh? Putting your recently found out pain on TV for all the world to see <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> ...what courage it must have taken...)

For this follow-up show, the producers contacted her again and asked her to come on again, but this time with the OW...she refused (rightly so) and confronted them directly asking if they were becoming the Jerry Springer show?

In other words, she DID raise the issue with them...but they were not interested in hearing it.

As a former media person, I'll be blunt with you (sorry Oprah fans): it is about the ratings...it is ALL about the ratings...I'm pleased you (and apparently many others) get something educational from Oprah...but her show is STILL all about the ratings...which is why I'm not a fan of most media...truth often has little to do with it...which angle is "sexier"? That's what they'll go with...

I agree fully with you all...get the Harleys, get Penny, get perspective...but I bet someone's already decided that wouldn't be as "juicy"...awed

P.S. I sincerely hope that the woman in question that I mentioned above is not the "Ruthie" mentioned on the show...I don't know why but reading her posts and everyone else who saw her on TV...I guess it was hard to watch her...she handled herself well by all accounts but was in such raw pain...I would HATE to think the producers would subsequently allow her to be trashed publicly because she refused to go on the show again...now I feel like I'm going to be sick...

Well...some woman somewhere was trashed wasn't she...not only the victim of the A, but now the publicly-vilified victim of the A...how...HATEFUL...

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> Hi I'm using the eyes to draw attn. IF you are just checking in Please read top post on this thread I'm asking others to post a note on the link provided requesting Oprah to invite the Harley's to appear on her show to discuss the full aspects of INfidelity. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Hi lbc I totally agree with you. I think that many people have old fashioned notions about saving a marriage when Infidelity is involved. I think they see it as why would someone stay in an unhealthy relationship, so why would one talk about saving it. Also, I think they feel that when a person participates in Infidelity it means that they don't want their significant other and the marriage or relationship is over, so why would one try to give someone what they don't want.

I think to one who hasn't experienced it, (which it occured to me that maybe Oprah has never experienced this with Stedman), it is almost like staying in a marriage where physical abuse is a part of the equation. In most cases people have the sentiment of get out- save yourself, pick up and move on.

As I watched her talk to the firefighter's wife who's husband left her for a 9/11 victim I truly think that she felt this way. THe woman mentioned her husband coming back and Oprah looked at hwe with kind of glazed over eyes and said, "Would you want him back." When she said this I knew she wasn't in the thoughts of this woman at all. I knew that she wasn't feeling her, as they say.

Hi, awed, I haven't worked in it but I studied some coursework on broadcast journalism and found out just how much ratings play a part in what will be seen and what won't be seen.

In my opinion Oprah has presented issues in the past in such a way to educate the public or provide self help materials aiding those who view her show with knowledge about a certain subject or issue.

On a personal level I believe she supports education by putting issues (such as parenting, making your money work for you, losing weight, investing, raising teenagers etc.) and professional authors usually with their own books to back up what they talk about, for those that watch her show to learn from. Also she has contributed money to education funds and namely the most recent being the school and educational materials she has provided for the children in Africa.

Well let me get out of her kudo corner for a moment. I'm actually not focusing on the story about Ruthie, however I was prompted to ask her
to cover more about the full aspects of Infidelity when I saw how limited her discussion was about it. SO I'm asking everyone to post to the link asking her to invite the Harley's. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hey freetobe...I should not have posted so negatively on your thread...you know me: normally I encourage people to look for the positive, seek it out, etc. On this one issue, I just couldn't find it in me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> ...but I didn't mean to rain on the parade since I think your motives are noble and sincere...

I think I was quite affected from actually reading the words of one of the show's victims...pissed me off royally a few weeks ago...

By all means, write and vent everyone...if you tell them how much your opinion of Oprah is on the line over this issue, perhaps that will have an impact. awed