I have just talked to my husband and confronted him. He denied everything! I said, stop making fool of me - don’t you see that I know? You lied to me that you broke it off with her but instead you opened a new email account to communicate with her. Reluctantly he admitted and told me that he did break it off with her and then it started again. Bad sign. But he is lying, I know. Lying all the time. He gave me a password to his yahoo acct though and there was a message from her – not a loving one but just sending him to some site.
Are you in love with her? I asked. He said No, but I am attracted to her. What the heck does that mean? He asked me to give him time to end this. I was unable to figure out how much time he wanted. Maybe the lifetime?
And I am absolutely helpless to do anything from here! Please what do you think about all this?

OK, this is pretty normal. Heart-rending, but not unusual. For whatever time this has been going on...lies have worked to keep his butt out of hot water. So he's still in the mindset that a lie will keep things smooth. He hasn't wised up yet.

Most of us have all gone the password, etc route. It's something that most of us need, that sense of control and knowledge. YET...we all must understand that it is a false sense of security, email accounts are a dime a dozen and having one that the BS doesn't know about isn't hard.

Most WS continue to lie, at least in the beginning after discovery. Often it is partly a mistaken wish to avoid harming us further, but mostly it is self-protection.

Also, as much as we would wish different, most affairs do not just stop cold turkey, no matter what our WS pledge. There is usually some contact even after NC should have happened.

That in no way means that the ex affair partners will never go into NC. Just that it may take a few days to really sink in and begin. And our WS ALL lie about continued contact, while it is happening. And no, we don't and didn't like it any better then you do right now. I just want you to realize that he's playing out of the MM's handbook, that he's not inventing anything new here.

As for time to end it! All it takes is the words..."No more! I love my W and I am ending the affair." It's amazing how much time some WS's take to get that into their heads...but most do!