Spoke with the psychologist about my Wife sending the packages with his name on them. He said it was very bad for her to be doing this and the effect it will/can have on the kids. He said I should bring it up with my Wife. They didn't even know his name until last week. Uh, any thoughts on how I might go about this?<P>Also, on a lighter note, me & the oldest got into it a bit Monday. I set her up an appt with a counselor. She has spoken with her once, but was really pissed off at me. "I don't need to talk to anyone, I'm fine!" Any time we have spoken about it, she yells at me.<P>So, I reminded her Sun night about the appt. I called at noon on Mon to remind her again. I got home at 2:30 to pick her up. She locked herself in the bathroom and wouldn't even answer me. So I kicked the door in. Okay, bad move, but I did just go to a four day class on Common Sense Parenting and this was rule # 1. Don't take crap from the kids! (Not really people )<P>Anyway, I told her she had 5 mins to get ready. She didn't & I told her I would be in the car for 2 mins. She didn't come out so I left. She called about 10 times on my cell phone trying to wangle out of it being her fault in any way (sound like the Mrs?).<P>Got home later & told her she should go, just humor me, blah, blah, blah.<P>Yesterday, I got home & the sink was <B>piled</B> with dishes. Went & told my oldest (they were all hers) if she wants to go to a Christmas party on Thursday, she needs to do the dishes. AN hour later, I went back down & told her the party was off. She bolted upstairs & tried to again blame me somehow. "I told my sister to do them, it's her fault."<P>The book I got was Common Sense Parenting. It's really very good with all the steps you need to do to get kids to cooperate and not letting you get distracted from the real issue. Highly recommended by me.<P>Isn't being a parent fun?!? I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Chris,<P>Gee, I can hardly wait until my children are that way?!!!!!!! It wasn't long ago though that I was at that stage in my life and was in the battle with my parents. I remember every bit of it. to me my parents thought that they knew everything about me. But I was always right of course. Haa so I thought until I got into the real world and had to come back to mommy and daddy to admit that they were right!!!!!! One good thing my Parents never gave up. Boundries they kept telling me. And to this day I thank them for it. Though it was a tough time for all of us. We are best friends now and I thank them for caring. <P>My Children are 7, and 15 months. 7 year old is like a little me. OHHHHH is that good or bad? Im just babbling sorry.<P>One good thing is that I kept a journal about my feelings all though jr hi and High school. I read them everyonce in a while and it helps. I could write a book with the journals I have.<P>Good luck,<BR>Hope you have a great christmas, and a Happy Year!!! I will try. Possibly going into Seattle, But I don't Know "Bomb" scare and all.?<BR>Christine

Chris,<P>I know what you mean! I occasionally get the "I'm going to live with mom " crap. I've been tempted to tell them go ahead, and don't forget that om will be there too. I've been able to keep my mouth shut though.<P>As for telling your w, it probably would be better if you wrote her. I know when ever I have to tell my ew anything over the phone about something stupid she has done, I can feel my blood begin to boil. Then she starts justifying or lying or legalizing and I lose it and lovebust big time, not that it matters at this point.<P>Good luck and have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Years with your kids. You andI are truly the lucky one here while our spouses will someday realize what they are missing.!!<P>God Bless<P>------------------<BR>"You can't always get what you want! But if you try real hard,you might just find, you get what you need!"<BR>Mick Jagger<BR>

My daughter is only one. I'm just anticipating the days when she'll talk back and pout. She alreadywants everything her way. I know I hated to be wrong when I was a kid. To think about it, I'm still that way, kind of sort of.<P>------------------<BR>

Chris...<P>Yep... yep... yep...<P>I got 2 holes in the wall (from 17yo boy)...<BR>It does seem that the older they are... the harder it is on them... <P>Hang in there...<P>I'm going to put the book on my book list...<BR>It's an important topic for many!<P>btw... I didn't think I'd be going to Plan B before you... you will always have my admiration... <P>JIM<P>Jim

Chris, <P>The gift you'll get for surviving the teenage years is a couple of well adjusted young adults you can be really proud of. Keep that in mind...IF you can find yours while going through this FUN time!!!!! <P>Roll Me Away<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Ok, so I read your other posting first. Well, maybe God is giving you a challenge to keep your mind off other things... <P>My kids are only 5 and 8. Is it too late to change my mind on custody? Just kidding!

Chris...<P>Who's the author of "Common Sense Parenting"?<P>Jim

<A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0938510770/o/qid=945979334/sr=8-1/102-7192347-8269603" TARGET=_blank>Common Sense Parenting : A Proven Step-By-Step Guide for Raising Responsible Kids and Creating Happy Families</A> by Raymond V. Burke, Ronald W. Herron, Father Flanagan's Boys' Home, Ray Burke Ph. D. <P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Chris,<P>I feel for you. The angst with the kids who balk at the boundaries, but need them anyway is part of the "joy" of parenting. I have four teens (13 -19) who in addition to normal teen attitude are also dealing with the mess of their father in midlife crisis, who continues to do very stupid things and taking no responsibility both emotionally and financially for their well being. How confusing it is for us, but how much more for them when they are trying to love us both equally. How much more perplexing it is for them to view such polarity of values where one parent is there for them no matter what they dish out (misplaced anger, etc.) while the other parent has ridden off into the distance and sees them to discuss trivialities and eat out. NO Reality. <BR>You have been incredibly strong and your children and yourself will gain strenght from all this (but who really needs to go through this)<BR>I have found many of the books on parenting by Barbara Coloraso (sp?) very useful. Her latest deals with families in crisis.<P>I hope that your Christmas is all you want it to be under the circumstances.<P>Next year has to be better as it cannot be much worse<P><BR>