Sunday I couldn't take it anymore. I took the beautiful black Ralph Lauren suit, peach colored cashmere blend turtleneck sweater, my favorite black loafers, and my favorite pink silk Victoria's Secret pajamas and put them all into a bag and dropped it into the Goodwill box in the Acme parking lot.

I wore all of the above on Dday and they were constant reminders of what I wore when I found out about my husband's affair.

I could feel them laughing and mocking me whenever I walked into my closet looking for something to wear. That damn sweater really stood out amongst the clothing because of the color and it always reminded me of that terrible day.

I was wearing the pajamas after I got home that day after meeting the OP and her fiance for the horrible truth. They remind me of the breakdown I had in on our bathroom floor after I was done vomiting from shock and disgust. I was wearing those pj's on numerous occasions when I would ask my husband if he was having an affair and he lied and said there wasn't anyone else.

They all had to go. No, I do not miss them. I wish I could exorcise the memories from m y mind also.

Sunday I was taking my husband's black Reebok sneakers off of him before he got some SF and they triggered the night he went to a bachelor party and met up with the OP later because she was at the bachelorette party. He wore them that night with jeans, a red Tommy Hilfiger shirt and a red baseball hat. I told him I hated those sneakers and he needs to get rid of them. He asked why and I told him just because. I want his entire outfit from that night to disappear. I also told him I want him to get some new board shorts for this summer because I know he was getting it on with the OP while wearing my favorite board shorts of his this past summer.

Silly??? I don't think so. Triggers can set me back to a not so good place.

Anyone else??

Not silly at all.

When all the dust had settled wife threw out all her undergarments, all her scrub uniforms, some formal wear outfits and we sold the luggage set she used to travel with.

Heck we even traded cars (since she drove both to trade shows and conventions), changed cell phone companies even bought a new house in part to get away from old memories.

Photos during the 2 1/2 year period are stored away (didn't even have to include her in the picture), personal tax records and business tax records are stored at the in-laws so I don't have to look at any particular document that was real time during the affair.

I do find it interesting that you chose to throw away your items as well. Never really considered tossing any of my stuff save a belt she bought as a present for me since the OM had a similar belt.

I think its mentally healthy and emotionally symbolic to rid your environment of those painful reminders. Gives you a sense of empowerment to "purify" your environment to actively do something to make you feel safe.

I have so many triggers of d-day and some of them I can't throw away. D-day came 2 days after FWS came back from furnishing our vacation rental (with his parents, not OW). We are going there next month. I'm hoping to exorcise some demons. D-day was also 2 days before our daughter's 1st birthday. I wasn't sure FWS was gonna show up. I might ask for a family vacation instead of a big party for her this year.

As for clothes, I'm hoping that reminder lessens every day. He bought new black underwear while the A was ongoing. I never washed them until the A ended. He was always looking for them, ha. I thought I would ask him to throw them away if the A ended, but I haven't had the need, yet. Maybe I will ask 6 months after the A ended.

I thought I would never be able to get into his truck again, but I'm driving it this week. We did trade in my car. OW was in it a couple of times.

ICNAFM -

I remember what I was wearing on d-day and have not worn it since. I also ended up in our bathroom, sick to my stomach, shocked and digusted. Not once but twice. H lied for the first three months about the A. I found out about more sex with OW three months after 1st d-day. I ended up sick in the bathroom again and those clothes are history also.

I have thrown out the new underwear that H bought right before the PA started. I especially needed to get rid of those because I remember how he freaked while packing for his last business (sex) trip to have sex with the OW. He was freaking out about not being able to find his new boxer briefs as opposed to packing some of his regular briefs. Boxer briefs were in the dryer...I helped him pack them. I guess he thought he looked sexier or better...or maybe OW told him that those were her favorite kind of underwear. I don't know.

I threw away the sweatshirt and jeans he wore on the day he left for that last business (sex) trip.

I do not wear the jewelry he gave me for our anniversary last year. I have them stored in lock box to give to my kids some day. We celebrated our 3rd anniversary a week early because H planned a business (sex) trip and was with OW on our anniversary. H went overboard on my gift (diamond necklace and emerald ring) and I feel it was just a "feeling guilty" present. I would have much rather had H with me on our anniversary and no jewelry than have jewelry and my H with an OW!

Now I'm not sure what to do with my van. For some reason, he decided to take my van instead of his car on this (sex) trip. I'm sure she was probably in it spreading her OW germs all around. Hey, my kids ride in that van!

There are enough triggers around me as is. Whatever I could get rid of I did, and I feel better for it.

Take care.

sss

D-day was 2.5 days ago. My husband was making potato skin (to do something special for me, he said). I was putting our daughter (turned one the day before) in her high chair when the instant message came on the computer from the OW. Normally my husband puts the password feature on his computer even when he runs to the bathroom...guess he must have forgot this time...

She said..."I was just thinking about you and then thought maybe you were thinking of me the same way. I'm signing off now because I have order Outback for the family."

I responded, "Thanks for the confirmation. Does your husband know? I'm sure my husband will contact you later to tell you how much he's thinking of you."

Sorry for the vent...needless to say I didn't eat any potato skins. I did take the leftovers out of the fridge yesterday and my stomach churned from the reminder of that moment. I said to myself...'that's just silly' and continued to heat them up. I made it about halfway through the plate, threw the rest away and proceeded to vomit. I don't think I'll ever be able to eat another potato skin again.

I want to throw away my husbands sweats. He wears one of several pairs every night so I'm sure he wore them during his business trips (real business trips that just happened to include sex with his boss) also. I used to like them. Now they make me sick when I see him wearing them. Actually, all of his clothes make me sick.

My husband also took massage oil from our bathroom (he said it was for me but it was only one of four bottles that ever made it home so I guess he just didn't get a chance to use it with her). Will I ever be able to enjoy a massage again?

Sorry, I didn't mean to get on here and be morbid. EVERYTHING is a reminder to me. When thoughts come into my head I just shake my head real hard and say, "This isn't helping. Forget it and move on." One time out of 20 it might work for a minute or two. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

If I wish on a star that this will get better, will it?

You got to wonder what the hell were our spoues thinking..Mine worked with a contractor that she had the affair with. I do not know how many times I told her to get rid of all the logo stuff that has acumulated around the house. One day I was driving and needed a pen, guess what pen she hands me, guess what was thrown out the window!!!! (and another pen was aked for.) They look at you real strange.
Mine has been 2 years plus. But this Valentines day I am reminded of her coming home just to be with me after the affair was known about and then proceeds to me me she still loves the guy..I think that qualifys for F888ing up Valentines day for here on out. We moved to Puerto Rico, and still have the house and one car, Both need to go when I am done with this assignment if you know what I mean..and you DO know what I mean...

Let's see... reminders...
Well, dday for me was almost 5 weeks ago. That's when my h told me he had a total of 5 affairs during our 15 year marriage. I was sitting at the dining room table (ironically a guilt gift from the time I found out about what I had thought was the only affair).

I started looking around the room in slow motion (it seemed) and every picture, every memory, every item I laid my eyes on made me ask myself the question "Who was he scr**ing when we took this, bought this, went there, etc."

Every single memory I have with him has been tainted. I can hardly listen to the radio without being reminded that the life I've led for the past 15 years has been a total lie. but I'm not bitter... (sarcasm is a beautiful thing...)