sorry i didnt add tha CWMAC my appointmnet is on tuesday next week to see my DR for the AD's. belive me i thought i could handle this and have rapidly come to the conclusion i cant without help. appreciatte your help in that area CW. I guess you never really know until you get there what you can handle. Ive seen all kinds of horrible things in my life and they never affected me like this. Today is a good day............. I may sing today, others might ask me to please spare their ears.....

AHH well call me slow of wit some times, call me stupid. I now know why my wife wanted no contact between me and the OM, and the OM's wife, it wasnt that she feared me doing something stupid, nor was she worried about hurting the wife anymore than she has or the children if they have any. Plain and simple she knew that if i brought it up to either of the other 2 that suddenly everyone would know of her affair and as self concious as she is , that would have killed her that everyone would be talking of it behind her back.
So over a month of wondering, of pain and anguish, of depression thinking she loved and protected the OM over me boils down to just plain she didnt want to be embarassed in front of all her friends. now thats what everyone should look for in a mate, self preservation above all.
It hit me as she was telling me and she was sobbing about me contacting them and i wondered "whats to cry that hard about"? took me 2 days to finally figure it out. my mind is not the powerhouse it used to be oh well sue me,
NOW i am angry......... perhaps this isnt worth it afterall

Hello,

I would certainly contact the OM's wife especially after this revelation. The bottom line is that it is the right thing to do. If the roles were reversed, wouldn't you want someone to inform you that your spouse cheated on you behind your back? I am sorry that your wife may feel embarassed but this is the consequences of her actions. Acting like it never happened and keeping it a secret simply allows the betrayers to continue in the future hurting other innocent people. There are consequences to cheating and breaking your marriage vows. How sad that her main fear is being embarassed. What depth she has.
I wish you luck.

shall i then become the foresworn? after swearing silence i break it????
no , sir indeed, shall not become like those that coem before me. I swore to not contac t and so I shall i not doo.