Yesterday I opened my husbands credit card bill, and found out through investigation that he has been logging into adultfriendfinder.com. It is basicly and 'adult' chat room/place to post your identity to find members of the opposite sex/same sex to chat, find a mate, &/or have sex online.
I encountered him with it (we currently are not living together due to his work re-locating him, but will in 6 weeks again). He fessed up to it, and through some digging in our bills, I found out he has been doing this since our 11 month old son was 4 weeks old. He says that our sex life is lacking (which it is ~ there was no intercourse during pregnancy due to complications) and he was looking for someone to talk to about our sex life & how to get back on track. I feel completely violated. He cancelled his membership, and then told me the name of the person he was chatting to. He says that it was not sexual, but I had to pull his teeth to get him to give me her user name, as he said if I saw her 'profile' I would freak out. Only to go in there & find out her profile is deleted. He told me to cancel our internet connection and put on a "net nanny" or "Family Friendly" connection. He then told me that he is addicted to porn and HAS to look at it everyday and wants to get professional help. He was not like this when we first met. Yeah, we can be adventurous together, but I feel he is hiding more stuff and I am going mental trying to dig through our mail, e-mail, etc... just to find out what else I can find.
I am so hurt, angry, confused, and sad. I could scream one minute & cry the next. HOW on earth can I move to a place of trust & love again with him. We have been together 12 years, married for 4.5 yrs.
Please help. Any advise will gladly be accepted.
M.
ps- I just took out HIS NEEDS HER NEEDS from the library, but I am so resentful & angry I don't feel like putting the energy into meeting any of HIS NEEDS!!!
Thank god for this website.
