I thought I had these plans down by reading Dr. Harley's page on this. Apparently I do not. Can someone elaborate on these plans so that I can get busy with it. I thought I really tried plan A with WH. He has no left me and our son for OW. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.

The best resource for Plan A...is the book "Surviving an Affair" where it goes into detail. But I would like to leave you cerri's guidelines as well since she studied under Dr. H and is in frequent contact with him:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Plan A is not (repeat NOT) about making the WS happy, or feeling good.

Plan A is NOT, contrary to popular (and very incorrect opinion), about "making yourself a better person," or "working on yourself."

Plan A is ALL ABOUT the straying spouse. In Willard Harely's ever brilliant words, Plan A is a stategy to end the affair and to entice the straying spouse to reconsider the marriage.

So, it has several elements that should be done at the same time.

First is to eliminate LBers and to meet needs as best you can... recognizing that the unfaithful mate may not allow the betrayed partner to meet needs.

Second is to CONFRONT the unfaithful partner with what you know. Doing so (of course) in a way that is respectful and about you... how you feel, how you are affected by the affair.

Third is to expose the affair to the scrutiny of the world. The lover's spouse or s/o, coworkers, family, friends, church family, children, etc.

ALL OF THAT is Plan A. And it should be done as much as possible simultaneously. (If you don't believe me call the radio show Mondays and Thursdays at 1pm Central Time and ask Dr. Harley for yourself.)

Plan A must have a deadline. It's called Plan "A" because there is a second step... aptly named Plan "B." Willard Harley suggests a max of 6 months for men and 3 months for women before going to the next step. If Plan A hasn't worked in that time, it's not going to.

(I challenge you to find anyone who has done Plan A longer than that and been successful. I define successful as the A ending, n/c promised and verified, and the couple working a good recovery plan which includes meeting needs, eliminating LBers, getting in 15 hours a week of UAT, and most importantly following POJA.)
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

Okay I got Plan A. I did all of that. I even called the OW. I did everything I could to try to make him see our children and our life. I told him how I saw trouble in our marriage and how I could fix my share. I tried to make him feel everything that we had lost through the years. He still left for OW. Packed everything up and left last Sun. Came on Sat. to get our son and left. Dropped him off and left. Bought valentine chocolate for me with a card from our son though. I know he is confused, but when he left he said he wants to be with her because he loves her and has very strong feelings for her. I don't believe for a second that he loves her. He hardly knows her. A few dunks in his truck of an hour here and an hour there can't replace the 10 years we have together. He went to the pastor and talked to him the day before he left and the pastor told him he was staying for the wrong reasons (the kids). The next day he packed up and left. He looked in the door at our son and cried in the driveway for a min. and drove away. He has come twice while I wasn't home to get more of his stuff. I am a SAHM and he is paying all the bills. I have no idea what I am going to do or how life will go on without him here. I am so devestated. She is really nothing at all to look at, much heavier than me and kind of homely. I guess that isn't what attracted him though. I thought I was in the Plan B stage but PEP says I am not and that I need to get help with the plans because I don't know what they are. I thought I did when I read the page on them on this site. We didn't make it 6 months we made it 6 weeks since I found out.

HNY,

First let me say I am flabberghasted by the pastor! Good grief. Okay...if you have done all of the above...and really controlled LBs and showed your H that you marriage is a good alternative...and he has moved out...it's probably time for Plan B. Plan B should not be done on your own. Much of the stuff needed to make it successful is counter intuitive and you need a good Marriage coach...the Harleys or cerri. Cerri is starting a plan B support group right now....so this is a good time to call.

How much do you know about your finances? What agreement is in place for him to support you and his child? This may need to be addressed legally....which is another reason you need a good coach. Keep posting...and consider calling cerri.

NY,

Just went and checked your other posts to see why Pep said you don't understand. Now I see why she said so. You are NOT currently in Plan B. Plan B is not separation....it is a well conceived and purposeful plan that helps end the affair. It consists of 1) good timing...to be determined by a good marriage coach 2) A Plan B letter which has a specific formula to be followed. 3) No contact of any kind...all negotiations are done through a mediator for visitation, finances etc. No contact is is no contact. 4) Conditions are in place that must be met before contact will resume. If you have not followed this formula...you are not in Plan B?

As a side question....You said you followed through with all of Plan A. Tell me about your exposure phase. Who knows about the affair. Your parents? His parents? His boss? the OW's parents? Friends?

Everyone knows about the affair. My mom, his mom, her mom all of his friends and family. Co-workers. Everyone and it is embarrassing. Esp. considering who he is seeing. As far as Plan B, I tried the whole no contact thing and nobody wanted to do the exchanging of the child for me. It is very difficult because he is three and he is very insecure and really just wants me at this time. He only goes with his dad because we tell him to, not because he would choose to. Plan B is probably going to be very hard at this stage because he doesn't even want to work it out so for me tell him in order to work it out you would have to do this, this and this. He probably couldn't care less at this point. Is that normal? Also I don't understand the letter thing. Is it expensive to call Cerri? Also he is paying all the bills on the house and for the house with extra grocery money until me and the children find a place to go. He said he is in no rush, so I have a few months to figure this out. I am hoping I won't have to in the end. He has to eventually see what he has lost opposed to what he is getting...ewwwww! I just don't get the whole thing at all. I know it is emotional support he is seeking but still. We don't plan on selling the house until after spring comes so I am set on that for a while. Just not sure about how to act and what to say when he comes. He has no interest in working it out I guess at this point.

Plan B is probably going to be very hard at this stage because he doesn't even want to work it out so for me tell him in order to work it out you would have to do this, this and this.

No no no no. Plan B has nothing to do with him. He doesn't need to do anything. Plan A was ALL about him...Plan B is ALL about you. It is to stop contact in order to stop the pain and protect the love you have left. It's a period of healing detachment for you. Most people go into it with the idea that it will shock the WS into some kind of action...and it isn't. It's to end the conflict and prepare yourself for any outcome...while leaving the door open to marriage in the event that the affair ends in time to save the marriage. It's not about him...it's all about YOU. You follow the outline for the Plan B letter...and then you go totally dark. Visitation can be done through a Parent Co-ordinator, attorney, friend...some kind of intermediary. You may need to seek legal help for visitation schedules and interim support.

He probably couldn't care less at this point.

Again it's not about him.

Is that normal?

Incredibly normal...he is in the fog...addicted and awful. Let her try to actually fill ALL of his needs...give her the time to love bust while you are protected in Plan B.

Also I don't understand the letter thing.

The letter spells out formally your intent to end all contact with him until the affair is over. It also tells him who to contact for visitation or to discuss finances or other matters. It says you love him but it's too painful to continue contact while the affair is going on...but that when it ends...you'll be happy to discuss the future.

Is it expensive to call Cerri? It's less expensive than the Harleys...and way less than divorce...still, it's not super cheap either.


o he is paying all the bills on the house and for the house with extra grocery money until me and the children find a place to go.

What do you mean??? Until you find a place to go??? You need some legal help but you do not need to go anywhere...that's your home. Go see an attorney please. Not to start divorce proceedings, but you will need a legal agreement to protect your financial rights and get support for you children. Do this right away.



He said he is in no rush, so I have a few months to figure this out. I am hoping I won't have to in the end. He has to eventually see what he has lost opposed to what he is getting...ewwwww! I just don't get the whole thing at all. I know it is emotional support he is seeking but still. We don't plan on selling the house until after spring comes so I am set on that for a while. Just not sure about how to act and what to say when he comes. He has no interest in working it out I guess at this point.

Of course he doesn't...but the attitude that he is no rush to kick you out of your home??? This is unbelievable. Again...time to see an attorney who can establish your financial rights to your home. He needs to understand not just the emotional consequences for his affair...but the FINANCIAL ones as well. He needs to spend the money he makes supporting his children, instead of mistress. You need to get touch chere. Don't be a doormat....call cerri get help.

I did seek legal advice from my lawyer when he left in Nov. for three weeks. My lawyer said no judge is going to make him pay all the bills so as long as he is willing let him do it. By the time he is done paying for everything, there is nothing left for her believe me I know. It was one of our problems in the marriage. He is flat busted after monthly bills. So it is almost better this way. As far as the house we co-own it so techinically he only is responsible for 1/2 the mortgage and he is paying for it all. I have had two back surgeries and I am awaiting a SSD case to come through. I should know something by april. If it comes through me and the kids should be all set to be on our own if that is the case. If not then I am in big trouble financially, but I really can't do anything because I am waiting for the gov. to make their decision. He doesn't care if he has contact with me or not. I had my mom exhange our son a couple of times and mom said he was as happy as a clam about it. Of course she wasn't. Then when he started picking him up here again he got all depressed looking when he comes in the door again. I am afraid that OW will change his mind about paying the bills, but so far she hasn't. Time will tell. The worse part is her husband did this to her and left her with a son a year older than ours. So I don't understand how she could do it to someone else. The pain in all of this is too much to feel sometimes. The kids esp. make it hard. I could ask my mom again to do the exchanging, but she is going to think I am nuts. I asked her to do it, then she didn't act like she was too keen on it afterwards, so then I said never mind. Now if I ask her again she is going to get mad and say make up your mind.

If you get turned down for the SSD, file another claim. It is common to get turned down the first time. Then you can get a lawyer that will just take a percentage of the back money you will receive.

You really haven't done Plan A that long, and you seem not to be losing your love for him. I think you should stick with Plan A for a longer time.

I am on my appeal with SSD. I have a very good attorney who is doing it for me now. Thanks. I haven't lost my love for him at all. But I don't know how I can do anything when we don't talk. I don't want to call him all the time for stupid stuff. And they work together so they see each other constantly. He lives 45 minutes from here now and he is having a relationship with her now not just an affair. We just had a baby together 3 years ago how can I just shut my feelings off for someone that I have loved for 10 years. I wish I could, it would make it so much easier. I still feel married and I am still committed to my wedding vows even though he isn't. He doesn't understand that at all. He says it would never work because I would never trust him and it would never feel the same again. Plus he tells her everything we talk about so that makes me feel weird in itself. She knows things about him I don't even know.

Also wanted to mention...how would I go about plan A now. I mean I can't very well throw myself at him. He is her boyfriend now. I mean do I just walk up and hug and kiss him when he walks in the door? He would probably die. Do I really want to do that anyway? Who knows where his mouth has been you know? I wouldn't know how to approach this whole subject again with him. He is out and he said this is what he wanted to be out of the relationship and without responsibilities to be with her. So I got left with everything. Two kids, a huge house, two dogs, a cat, plowing, mowing, car responsibilites, everything. I just can't imagine walking away from my dog never mind my family.

I know it is hard. My H behaves like a good H when he was home(only when he was home). He did a lot of house work. But then he will disappear. I guess that he was doing that because he felt guilty. He already told me that he will not come home for dinner and he is going out for movie, with whom? You should know. That is the most painful thing when he does that. You also know that his heart is not here. But I just did a plan A. I hug him, kiss him when he came home. I do all the cooking, house work, do laundry, iron his clothes etc.

But all you do is to keep doing the same thing consistently. It is hard, but you can do it.

It would be hard to do plan a now that he doesn't live here anymore and he is with her full-time. I mean he comes on Wed and gets son and Sat. to get son and that is it. I do everything around here myself. Kissing him when he walks in isn't really an option I see as opened at this time.

HopelessinNY -

I though I would post to you on your own thread, this time. You sound where I was a couple of weeks ago. I understood the plans intellectually to some extent, but I didn't understand the plans the way I needed to to implement them successfully. That is where it sounds to me you are at.

You love him, you will wait for him, you know what everyone is saying to do, but it doesn't seem possible that 1)it could possibly work and 2)that you are capable of doing it.

Maybe check out my thread called "Separated and he has emotionally divorced me" under Just Found Out. It's long, but maybe you can see yourself in my journey.

To make a 6 page story short, recently one of my best friends, a FWW (she actually D'd her H at the time, and is now happily remarried to another man - so I call her Former) gave me some tremendous insight into her brain at the time her H and her were separated.

She told me that the more she saw her H's pain, the more she wanted to end that pain. She was not capable of ending it the way her H and her family wanted her to. She D'd him, before she was totally sure and ready, just to end his pain.

I was doing that to my WH. All of your instincts at this time are wrong. Nothing that has ever worked to communicate with your WS in the past will work right now. PERIOD.

All LB's will drive him to want to stay away more, maybe even D before he is ready. You must find compassion for him. You must realize that he has hurt himself as much as you. He is in as much pain as you. He is even more confused than you are! He is split in two. You must be the strong one now. You must use your head and heart and do what needs to be done to give him what he needs to come home to you. He cannot do that - not because he doesn't want to, he is not capable.

What gets me through, is thinking about if we ever get into recovery, my H is going to thank me for what I have done for us every single day. I know my H. I don't know this WH, but I know my H will know what I did to save our M. He will know the type of woman he married - the type of woman that the OW can only pretend to be. And she doesn't even pretend well!

Take heart. Many of these books might be found at your local library, by the way. Take the kids down, let them get some books, too. Also look for "Torn Asunder." That is my new favorite.

Keep posting. We will all get through this together. Your WH is not able to support you and love you right now. We are. Come here for that. With your WH, all you can be is the Giver. Come here and let your Taker out. We can handle it!

Love, Amy

Hi Amy,

I also posted on the other thread for you. It sounds like we are in the same phase but you are a little further. I am so consfused about what I want. When he left it was before I found this board, I told him that if he left he was never coming back. Sooo....yesterday I tried to fix that big mistake. I wrote him a letter and told him that I have been thinking about things a lot lately and that as long as we are married and have a child and that we have feelings for each other then we should do whatever it takes to reconcile our marriage. But, I told him that if he was to come back it would have to be without his affair totally. That it would have to be over with completely and that counseling would be a must. I explained to him that me and the kids still love him and that they deserve to have both parents who love each other. He says he loves me, but his feelings for her are stronger. I told him that he would feel differently in a short while and that we would be here for him as his family and he was welcome to come home without the affair. I don't know if I did the right thing. I know he read it though, my son told me he did. When he came in he didn't say anything about it. He handed me a bag with stuff in it and the letter was in it folded up. He is still taking his stuff from the garage when he comes and he did yesterday as he was leaving still. I am really giving up hope here. I read a letter that she wrote to him and it said that her ex put her down and that my H made her feel so good about herself. That she loved him so much and that she could tell by the sound of his voice that I put him down too! I never have done that, I have always been proud of him and his accomplishments and have always told him that. Anyway I called her once and told her that she was all wrong about me and that he was depressed and she wasn't helping things. He was on anti-D's until June and he just quit taking them. He started seeing her in July. I am assuming she is his anti-D right now. I really don't see this relationship lasting very long at all. I might be wrong though because he falls very deep and hard when he does. It kind of worries me. Sorry such a long post. Thanks for listening.


BS, Me, 35
WH, 32
Married 7 yrs
1 S at home, 3
1 D at home from previous marriage, 11
Admiited SA 11/1/03
Admits SA continues as of 2/18/04
WH has left family for OW.
As of today, I am not optomistic at all.

Well, hon, all I can say is time will make things more clear to you. What helps me is reading the books, all of them. Sometimes I even write letters to my H, because I miss him so much. But they stay in my notebook. I write to him, my best friend, and tell him how confused I am, and try and imagine what his advice to me would be. It makes me feel like I have communicated with him. He was in the Army for 6.5 years, and we were apart a lot. So, to some extent, I am used to writing my thoughts and feelings and not getting a direct response.

Your WH will eventually come out of the fog. The OW probably has become his drug of choice. And unfortunately, it doesn't matter if you think you were meeting his ENs, it matters if he thinks you were.

I think you need to start preparing yourself to be able to hear these things from him and not LB. To some extent, to do this, I had to detach a bit emotionally from him. Not love him less, no withdrawals from my Love Bank, but protect the investment that is left.

Have you read the thread about Plan A your S, Plan B your WS? I'm not sure, it might be under General Questions II, but I found that very helpful. I'm not sure if it is controvertial, but I believe it was written by a veteran here.

Read, read, read. Read the guidelines, structure, plans, posts, books, Bible, everything. I am a stay at home mom, too. I clean, I talk to my girlfriends, I post, I read, I write to H. I rarely watch TV anymore. My brain does not want to veg in that manner anymore. Which is good.

Get out some cookbooks, make a weekly menu for you and the kids, make some treats, make them laugh. I play games with my boys at night and we try and make each other laugh really hard. Sometimes it takes 3 or 4 games, but we always get there. It is important to laugh. It's either laugh or cry, sister. Read on General Questions II the WS lines that are the most rediculous. It actually made me feel pretty good about my WH.

What about the anti-anxiety meds I asked about? Did your doctor have you answer questions on forms for depression and anxiety? Did you get a sleep aid? Time will make it better. Sometimes, when I wake up in the middle of the night now, I can go back to sleep. Amazing. I am even eating again. And I'm back at the gym again. And I am laughing again. Still crying some, but laughing again.

Keep posting. Keep hoping. Keep reading. You will find hope in the reading of these posts. Others have waited a lot longer than us, and been richly rewarded. Not just by restoring their M, but mostly because through their journey, they have found themselves. That is your journey. When you find yourself, your H can find you, too. You must have one before the other, I am convinced. And the plans here get you through that and through his fog.

Love, Amy

Amy,

Thanks for the inspiration. I have been doing many things with the kids this week. We went to a science center and a dinosaur museum. I am trying to make them have fun even when it is hard for them to. My kids are what keep me going at this time. My WH doesn't ever call or anything. He just comes on his days at the time we have agreed on and gets his son. The OW works 3rd shift and my WH works 2nd shift so they don't have a lot of time together either. He spends fri. nites, Sat. and Sun with her and that is about it. They see each other at work but probably not much. I can honestly say that I love him but if I didn't have a son with him I would have already written the whole thing off. I told him the other day that I was never filing for divorce, that if he wanted one he would have to file himself. He didn't say anything. Well I asked him if he wanted a D and he said, well I assumed you would. And then I told him I wasn't filing ever that I didn't care about a D. This is my second marriage and I thought my last.

As far as the meds go I have to make an appt. and I have the two kids full time this week for spring break. I will probably just try to get through it for now unti school starts again. I bought the SAA book today at BN. I am going to start reading it as soon as I can. Has anyone told you what the signs are that they are coming out of the fog? It is kind of funny because he left for three weeks when I first found out and then he showed up one night and promised he would work on our M, go to counseling and everything. He never did and he kept on seeing her after work. Well finally I found condoms in his work bag again and he moved out. But the whole time he was here which was about 6 weeks I could see the depression and the withdrawal just like SAA home site says. All the symptoms and signs to a T. He just sat around watching TV and never unpacked or did anything at all. He was in total withdrawal. I did everything I could to love him while he was here. I tried talking about everything and nothing worked. Does your WH get the boys? Thanks for listening. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

My WH takes the boys a few nights a week, and for a while on the weekends. He has his own little 1-bedroom apartment - with OW's old living room furniture in it. Ug, don't get me started on that.

Anyway, he takes them to Scouts where he is a leader. OW's son is his patrol leader. So, I don't go to the meetings. Still trying to work that one out.

I told my WH that I would not file for D either. This is my first M, but I thought my only. I am still hoping it is my only. My WH took his wedding ring off for the first time last Thursday and had not put it back on.

He has convinced himself that for the past 15 years, he has tricked himself into thinking he loved me, when all he ever felt for me was friendship. He had this epiphany after D-Day. The A was a "catalyst" for him to understand his feelings for me for once. And he has finally found the courage to tell me that and stand firm in his decision. Fogese.

He said at our MT appointment yesterday that he is emotionally bankrupt, and he doesn't think he can heal until we are D'd. Strange fog logic.

I don't think he is going to just "snap" out of the fog. I believe it is a gradual thing. First, they have to want to, because we cannot make them. Right now, all I can do to make my WH feel better is respect his wishes that we only communicate through email, about business (kids, finances). Hopefully, when he sees I can stick to this for a while, he will want to talk to me again. The other time he wanted to talk to me, I blew it big-time. I thought I could be ready, but I was so not ready! I'm getting there now, though.

I literally am not expecting anything from him right now. I just hope and pray he gives it the 6 months we agreed upon at the beginning of the year. I think by then he is going to have a clearer, non-fogged-in view of what he really wants.

I have faith in our love. I have faith in him, in his character. When he does come out of the fog, I have faith that I am still going to be the one he chooses. But if not, I can go on. I do know that now. I can be happy without him.

Keep reading and posting. And do what Star*fish said - if you have a specific question, state it clearly in a new topic, and ask a veteran to read it and give advice. I am as new as you! But we can encourage each other.

You can do this. We can do this. We can vent here to each other, and get great advice from people who have been there, done that. And maybe in 6 months, we can really help some of the new people get through this. It is scary how many new people come here each day. Infidelity is an epidemic right now, it seems to me. It is so sad.

Love, Amy

Amy,

Did you ever invite your WH over for dinner or anything? I was thinking that he is living at his brother's house and he works nights. He doesn't get to see her very much and I am sure she doesn't cook for him when she does. Do you think I should invite him to stay for dinner and make something I know he likes? Or is that not a good idea? I don't know what is a good idea or not anymore. He doesn't really talk to me about anything other than the boy at this time. I mean I asked him if he thought he made the right decision the other day and he said I don't know and I won't know until I can get a place of my own and I can't do that if I have to pay for the house still. I am tryin to hold that off for as long as I can right now. Then I wrote him that letter and told him he could come through the door anytime he wanted as long as he left his affair outside of it. He didn't say anything to me. He is not a talker anyway and that was half our problem. Dinner or not? Hmmm I am not sure if he would even stay if I did ask him to. Is it good to let them come to the house and hang out with you or not? I mean he wants to come here and see our son and I told him no that he would have to take him somewhere. He also wanted to do things around the house and I told him I would hire someone. I don't know what I am supposed to do in these situations. Any advice? I am still reading SAA just got it today. I also pray faithfully every hour of everyday for guidance and I never considered myself to be a religious person until this happened. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I believe Plan A is that you are trying to fill up his Love Bank with as many Love Units in as short a period of time as possible. So, you want him to be as happy as possible with you, with his impression of you and his home and family. Especially if you plan on doing a Plan B in the future - which I have heard is often needed.

My WH used to come over for dinner in the beginning. But you see, I was very angry and I LBed a LOT. Because I wanted to hear how sorry he was, and he wanted me to know that he didn't feel guilty because he was in love with her and that I pushed him into the A. I didn't understand fogese then. So, the dinners were usually not too pleasant, and he doesn't come over anymore.

I also lost one opportunity for him to come to me to talk, because I was not ready yet. It's weird - I'm not sure why I had such anger. I think because he told me of the PA while in the hospital for accute depression. So, I didn't feel right yelling at him and expressing my emotions while he was on suicide watch! So, I kind-of stuffed them down.

Well, he has yet to be able to deal with my negative emotions. He simply is not capable of seeing my pain right now. I believe the root of this is the type of person he is. He has violated everything that he believed in. He has done to me and himself and our kids what to him his whole life was unthinkable. And I think he is having a hard time understanding how he could have done that. So, right now, there is a lot of finger-pointing in my direction. And until this week, honestly, I could not STAND that!

But now I can. I have detached myself from him emotionally. I am assuming everything he says is fogese, and I listen but I don't take it personally. It's hard, don't get me wrong! I think it has helped me to write those letters to my H - I think it reminds me of who I am truly interested in. I am not interested in WH. I am waiting and doing what I can to get my H back, because he is in there somewhere, and I think he will come out and come back to me.

And if not, I will mourn the loss of my H, but I will move on. I do not want this man he is now. If my H never comes back, out of the fog, if he has lost himself forever (which is my worst fear - not him leaving me), I will mourn him as if he has died and move on. My divine happiness lies elsewhere.

So, I guess, yes invite him to dinner. Let him help out around the house. While he is doing the things around the house, maybe make some food so he can smell familiar smells in the house, and hear familiar sounds. Then casually ask if he'd like a plate, share a meal with his son. That's what I do. Your son is your ace in the hole. NOT to manipulate with, but to entice. "Your son sure would like you to stay for dinner."

I don't know. I would say do whatever you can to get him over there. I understand your tactic, but Plan A as I understand it, needs opportunity for you to make some Love Unit deposits. And he does need his space. My WH does. He needs time to sort out what he has done in his head. He is so confused and lost.

All we can do is shine our warm, loving lights in the fog and hope they see us and will trust that we will take care of them and love them.

Sorry for the long post. Lots of love and hugs. And I totally understand about the praying. Because God wants your marriage to work, too. With you and Him working together, there is so much hope!

Amy