I just found a credit card statement and the charges were blacked out with permanent marker. However, I could tell that there was a purchased made a VIctoria's Secret and nothing was giving to me. I asked my husband he refuses to discuss anything with me. I asked him who? what did he buy? if he has had sex with another person? We have been together for 12 years. Do I have a right to know the answers to my questions?

Of course, you deserve answers to your questions. He is your husband. I'm so sorry you have found yourself here. Read everything you can on this site and then read some more. Get to the point where you know Plan A inside and out. Remember, many partners have ended their affairs and returned to recover their marriages. This can happen for you, too, if you follow the advice on this site.
But I won't lie. It will be very painful. This is not an easy road, but you can have your marriage back and even better than it was before. You will have to decide if you are strong enough to do it.

Time to start reading up here. Read about Plan A and start there.

Don't confront him anymore about this. But time to start doing some investigating. Something is going on and his attitude proves it.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by believer:
<strong> Time to start reading up here. Read about Plan A and start there.

Don't confront him anymore about this. But time to start doing some investigating. Something is going on and his attitude proves it. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by believer:
<strong> Time to start reading up here. Read about Plan A and start there.

Don't confront him anymore about this. But time to start doing some investigating. Something is going on and his attitude proves it. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">How can I do this? I think he needs to come clean and tell me what happened. His says he loves me we will get through this and that he has made an appoinment with a marriage counselor. But, it is eating at me I can't even focus for more than an hour at a time to get my work done. What type if investigating? We went to dinner last night to a restaurant we have not gone to in a long time, and just last week I was telling a friend that the manager of that restaurant was my daughter's friend husband. So while we were at this restaurant I asked him when was the last time he was here and he said 6 months or longer. But that is not true because on the same credit card statement he was there on 12/11/03. How can he still lie after what he just said about fixing everything earlier that day?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by believer:
<strong> Time to start reading up here. Read about Plan A and start there.

Don't confront him anymore about this. But time to start doing some investigating. Something is going on and his attitude proves it. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Believer I replied to you. But I am not sure if I did it correctly. I think I might have replied to myself.