Hi everyone,

This is one of those down days where I cannot stop thinking about him and her together. I was told those images would go away, but the more time passes, the more I imagine all that crap in my head. I am tired. As you guys can see I stopped posting a bit. I have been trying to stay away from the boards a little bit. I read too many sad stories.

As for updated news: My sorry bottom is here. I am still on the rollercoaster. I don't know what my next move will be. I don't know what I am doing next. I am not making any plans. I am leaving my options open. On the positive note, I have been eating better. I have been sleeping a bit more. I just need to go outside and get some fresh air. Since I stopped school I haven't had that. I explained to my WH that he could not expect me to really go on to school with all the weight on my shoulders. He understood.. he said "you've been pressured, I understand. It's just sad."
I am going to see a doctor again on monday, maybe they will put up my deppression pills.. I have anxiety..in the middle of the night I can not breath and I have to get up and walk around or I feel my chest will burst open.

Right now, I am an observer. Like I said.. I'm not in control of this anymore.

HUGS TO ALL!

It does seem like lots of members are really struggling right now. Hang in there, it's gonna be a rough ride.

Hang in there... Breath in and out. Clean an closet, drawer, whatever you can/need to do... Keep your focus on your things, relationshiups that are good for you.
It's hard but we have good company here.
You have my prayers. (Believer has helped encourage me also. I'm seeing a slight improvement in my wife's attitude, and am encouraged this weekend to make more changes (continue 180, clean My Shop, replace Garage Door, and help my kids in a regional Pinewood Derby race; )
All the best to you

Harudah! Where are you my girlfriend??? I miss you.

You must post to me on my thread in General Questions. Are you following my progress that is 1 step forward and 2 steps back?

My goal is to have 2 steps forward and 1 step back.

You should post on the game thread over on GQ. Very funny.

Lots of love and HUGS!

SS

Hang in there, and think about you, not him. Start doing what you want to do. Has he written NC letter yet? That is critical.

Hi guys,

Wow, you guys still want to know how I am.. How amazing! ((((HUGS))).... well my husband is going to see a doctor for his deppression and leaving his work. He says he is looking foward to going out with me.. sleeping late.. and we will go to the netherlands for the time he is off.
I didn't go home. Like I told you guys, I am leaving everything to the Lord. Well, the lord is working. Even though hubby had decided to cut contact and Ms. OW was still trying. Well he found out that she has husband, and she is always doing 2 other guys on chat! (PRAISE THE LORD) .. and it was confirmed by her that she is slept with both other guys.... She doesn't know that he knows, because he found out through his friend that was doing her also by accident!

Ok.. he said "I thought she had some feelings for me..if she have the same feelings for the both of them.. then she just took advantage me."

YES! I milked it! You guys might said that I shouldn't have.. but I DID lol I milk it.. I did say "I Told you, a woman, that buys you dinner and asked you to do her in the back of your car is not WORTHIT"

Well..... OOOPSS... he thought she was nice to be so enthuasiastic.. he knows those to other guys are butt ugly.. and he starts to question himself. He really have self esteem problem... and he told me when we go to the doctor.. (don't hold back.. tell her everything I've been doing) He wants to go see someone FINALLY!


Praise the lord.

That is very good news. Hopefully you two will be able to reconcile now.

Heaven knows you have felt bad for long enough. He still should send a NC letter and tell her he is working on his marriage.

Keep us posted about what is going on.

Well, I am not worrying about an NC letter. I am not pushing this. It will be up to him if he really want to make his marriage work. His mom seems not to understand that HER SON is the one THAT SCREWED UP his marriage...and my plans to leave are not erased.

I also feel bitter.. I am so bitter, that when/if I leave, his family.. well his mom, his dad will not lie for him. They will definitely say its my fault. I need the rest of the family to know it isn't my fault. I need people to know that I worked my [censored] off in my marriage and that I didn't cheat, and I didn't leave my husband at home.. I wasn't mean to him for months and not showing affection because I was in my little fantasy world.

Girl, now.. its "my baby, my honey, my sweetie, my little tamoumoune" Ha ha .. and holding me at night. Screaming my name in his sleep. I am very tired.. and realized that I am not in a position to make any drastic decision right now. That is why I am not. (yeah, I am actually taking your advice beleiver..and I am one hard-headed one) I go on and OFF plan A.. I haven't really been doing Plan A correct.. first week yes.. but then I burst out...I just can't.
I did try this weekend...and its ok. Its going okay. I am wondering each time...he goes to chat or send emails.. but I am going to crash this computer.. on purpose and install a keylogger.

Still sounds good. You will find out by his actions. But he has to love you, he can't possibly care for a woman who would do it in his car. Yuck, disgusting.

It is so good to hear from you! Congrats on where you are at. You are a trooper. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Keep in touch. IM me!

HUGS! SS

ooh I'm so tired. And I woke up at 12:30 PM! Wondering. Looking foward to see a doc this morning. I didn't get any emails from him at work. I get sometimes worried. That's weird. My head swings back and forth from worry, caring, and hating him at the same time.

I should really get that book "Overcoming resentment" OMG.. such a headache I have. I'm ok.. I'm gonna have brunch and fix myself to continue the day.

Thanks everybody.

Hi there
From your posts sounds like things a looking a bit more positive. Great news that your H is going to do something about depression and leave work. You sound a lot better than when last I checked on you.

Lucky you sleeping intil 1230pm. Oh how I wish
love C&S

Glad you are seeming so much better. Im also glad you didnt leave in the end, and there appears to be light at the end of the tunnel.

Make sure you keep communicating with him, and make sure he sends the NC letter.

Sending my love

I'm Trying to stay away from conversation about our relationship, but he brought it up last night and didn't stay much on it. He has been treating me so nice lately.. cleaning the house a lot.. helping me out. He wants me to buy stuff.. beautify myself.. he is letting me hvave everything I want... I feel good.. I get smiles and looks hehe

Anyways.. I'm wondering if it's normal that he is doing that.. but he knoes my heart is still heavy on it. He talked last night about his desire to be admired and liked by people. And that he felt like nooone ever see him like he invisible...
I don't feel like I can do anything about that to help him. I told him he has to like himself. Today there was this girl looking at him....and smiling.. he told me about it... and showed me the girl...is that weird? I told him to be open with me about this. He has always question is power to attract people.. men and women. He says noone ever recognize his efforts. I know he loves to be admire and he wants attention. I don't know how to meet that emotional need.. I really don't feel like me alone can do it. He has to fulfill it himself. He really needs self esteem boost.. sighs*

Well tell me what you guys think.

I glad he is being honest with you and you are taking it well.

There are things you can do to help boost him self-esteem: this is an aspect of Plan A, as one of the ENs is admiration.

You are being let in on one of the reasons he had the A. It seems he is out of he fog. What does evryone else think?

Sending love