I have not being drinking. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I'm fine.. my back is aching right now.. I'm going layback and watch some tv.. hugs.

How are you doing, girlfriend? I saw your post to Karmara. Good job!

Maybe she will listen to you. You gave it to her straight. Nice.

I miss you! Haven't chatted with you in a whole day!

HUGS! Amy

Harudah

You crack me up so bad! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> My WH OW is a really fat blonde girl with really screwed up teeth. No one can understand it. I don't think they see them when they look at them. I call it the shallow hal syndrome to my WH. I told him he had shallow hal syndrome and there was no way he could be attracted to that esp. not for her looks and he said what do you mean not for her looks? I said she is uuuugllly and he said shes not that bad. Now what does that say? He did't say she was beautiful, or one hot mama like he used to tell me. They don't even see them. You can't think with the little head and see with it at the same time, it only has one eye and if it is always in the dark it can't see. It definitely is not about looks I have decided this. At least you have come this far. Mine is still boinking his on Fri and Sat. nites.

YOu know.. I realized that I am tired of living my life in fear. In fear what others will think of me.. and say about me.. TO HELL WITH THEM! Most people I know IRL don't give a damn about me.. they don't know how I wake up, eat, or sleep. SO I will not let anyone intimidate me or what I do. I am taking the bull by the horns. H told his mom that I quit school and is leaving. UHMMM>> he didn't tell me what she had to say. I know she will said that I was planning this and didn't want to stay in the first place.

I Freaking left my family(hate them or love them.. they are still mine) in the states, and came to live with my husband in this freaking cold [censored] wet country because I love him. Okay.. THAT WAS THE ONLY THING HOLDING ME HERE! Anyways, he cheated, he prove to me that he was not real to our vows. I go through deep deppression knowing that he had continued his EA with the OW weeks after the confession. I wanted to work in our marriage, but his weakness was not allowing. I am still willing to make efforts, but I am not....going to kill myself. (WHAT IS MEANT TO BE WILL BE! CHANGE WILL COME EVENTUALLY). I am patient, but I am not going to put my life on hold for a man that lack respect for me like that. KISSING AND DOING SOMEONE ELSE IS NOT RESPECT FOR ME> I still accept him back in, but now in my conditions.!!!

THis will either break off completely or fix itself. I am leaving.. he will come if he wish to. That is all. I am not giving anymore options. I know a lot of **** will be said about me.. but that's it. I am not willing to be a housewife, and live down my standards. I'm 22 for god's sake.. IT PARTY TIME! and time for me to really be free and stop living for my mom, and other people.

I'm finally going blond this week. Hey Hopeless.. he is ashame to show me a picture of the wench, but I saw it already lol. OH LORD> she has yellow [censored] teeth. gross.. and red hear.. and a one of her arms will make my leg, and I"m not skinny. eewww.. anyways I am not going to be hating on her. That's just sour.. hehe
My husband will not be doing her, but he is welcome to her while I am gone. He can also forget about following me. I will not know while I am gone.. so that why this is not going to work lol.

Oh well.. I"m not giving options anymore.. He wants to hold me here...to reassure me of his mess. I CANNOT GIVE HIM AND WILL NOT! Leaving classes was a big decision.. taking alone and for my own sanity and giving myself a way to start fresh.

I guess this is all things you've guys heard already from me.. I'm crazy I know... but you have to be crazy to deal with WH.

Hey today I was watching TV and saw this woman fighting.. I really start to get on fighter's mode, maybe I will buy myself a nice little SUV when I get back to the state.. 2 doors.. yes I like big wheels..even though I'm a tree hugger.. I"m an aquarius..my whole life is contradictions. ANd I'm going to pick up boxing.. I need to get rid of that fighter's mode... really. Im becoming too aggressive.

Well that's it for today..

harudah -
Well I was a little down about thinking of divorce - for about 3 days. Now I'm back up again and having fun again. Hang in there, better days are ahead.

If I didn't have two boys depending on me, I would do the same thing, Harudah.

My WH is pi**ing me off bad. He needs to come out of his fog soon. I am losing patience.

I know, not even 9 weeks, but not even one positive sign from him! Just anger and blame and resentment towards me, and I have done nothing but love and support his lying a**.

I hope that WS doesn't read my post and get offended. But I am venting.

Anyway, you go girl. You are young. Do what you need to do. I love you, and you don't need to do anything to prove anything to me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Amy

sick upgraded NEWS!

Ok.. this is how this goes. Last night my WH, well I decided to know the rest of the story. Even though I know the nitgreedy of the affair. I still wanted to know what..juST WHAT the **** was his motivation.

Ok.. he told me has has been playing around in chat. Not as himself.....he goes as a GIRL..part of his experiment to see what it would be like when you chat as a girl. SO, he talks to the OW as her best friend in chat. And he made up a bunch of bullcrap he told me. He just play games with stupid desperate guys who so WANT a girl just based on description. And he said he acted like a "REALLY *****Y GIRL" yet they still wanted to meet him. Anyways the same person that he played best GIRLFRIENDS with is the same girl he talk to under another NICK. He got all the information about her.. and he talked to her as another nick now a (MALE) nick. She told the girl nick how much in love she was with the "male nick" ha ha ha..

CAN YOU GUYS BELEIVE THIS MESS? I mean its all LIES LIES LIES.. then he told me.. The same WOMAN he did in the back of our car.. has a b/f or a fiance more than that .. they live together.. most people here do not get married anymore. anyways, I told him.. "She doesn't know the real you does she?" he says "a little bit," He's going to couseling if I have to put up with his little *****y [censored]. Right now he is babying me while I'm packing my bags. Sad!