ok

He has not been chatting with her. THis was just another trick pulled! About that I wrote to her.. I showed him all my msgs.... when I read of his.. she told him that "Your wife sent me another message.. and I didn't do anything to her. I have to change my phone number."

Can you beleive this? LIke I am after her! OMG..that is not the truth at all. He wrote back to her and told that "She won't be bothering you or me anymore..because I'm going liquidate myself."

Then she wrote back saying "don't do any stupid thing Vincent, you have to fix your life with her.. that is all. YOu just have to fix your life... please don't do anything stupid."

Anyways, after I've calmed down from the alcohol, and told him that I wasn't going to school anymore... he started crying. And he was holding me all night long pulling me close tohim.
He didn't go anywhere last night...it didn't take him long to come and lay his head on my stomach and realized all that was happening.

I ordered my ticket last night.. with all the dates possible ready for me to go home. He told me this morning "I want you to stay. I love you. I messed up." He said "I'll follow you, and you know that. YOu can't leave me just like that."

THere is a lot of love in this relationship, but there are a lot of faults. I just don't know if I can go on with him. So I told him this morning "whatever will be, will be." I'm leaving all this to God now. I am tired of playing him, so I will leave it to his biddings. My husband's face looked old this morning.
He left for work, but he said "I wish I could stay with you today."

I worry about him going to work. I am! I don't want him to get into an accident, I don't want anything to Happend to him. Like the OW would want him gone so she could help her pain, but he is mine. He is my husband, I'm the one he comes home to, I'm the one he says he loves. I'd go crazy if anything happend to him.

I must also come to my senses. If I chose and he chose to make this marriage work, counseling is ESSENTIAL!

This is my update beleiver.. after much GIN, tears, lies, and pain.... Ihave come down to this. I am in love with a very sad and confused man.

The realisation of your imminent plan B has made him realise he may lose you. Maybe you could ask him once more if he will consider NC.

Hope you are feeling ok

Okay, you sound like you are better. Get rid of that gin - throw it out in the cornfield. Or is that Amy that lives in the cornfield?

You need to have a clear head right now. H needs to write a NC letter. Otherwise it just goes on and on. I've been going through this almost a year, and have made no progress on the marriage. However I've gotten much much stronger. Now I really don't care anymore.

Sorry you quit school, but you are young and brilliant, you'll go back and do just fine.

YOur student is learning hehehe .. anyways I woke up so early.. and cleaned the house.. all my dishes were piling up. I did my laundry from puking the other night!! eewww.. good lord..

I have a clear head now. I need to give myself a couple of days in meditation to know my next move. I will still be his wife all through the end. That is my intention. WHen I am gone on Plan B...that way he sees what he missed. He knows what he risk losing.. ANyways I opening all my windows and get air inside the house...

I am no longer going to ask for an NC letter. I've asked too many times. I am not a begger. SO I will not be begging. My departure dates are between the 3rd and the 4th of March. That should give me enough time right?

I'm better today beleiver, but I can't help to feel stabbed each time I knwo that whore is sending him MSGs.... soooo
well bye <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

My song for today <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Everything is everything
What is meant to be, will be
After winter, must come spring
Change, it comes eventually
[2x]

I wrote these words for everyone
Who struggles in their youth
Who won't accept deception
Instead of what is truth
It seems we lose the game,
Before we even start to play
Who made these rules We're so confused
Easily led astray
Let me tell ya that
Everything is everything
Everything is everything
After winter, must come spring
Everything is everything

I philosophy
Possibly speak tongues
Beat drum, Abyssinian, street Baptist
Rap this in fine linen
From the beginning
My practice extending across the atlas
I begat this
Flippin' in the ghetto on a dirty mattress
You can't match this rapper / actress
More powerful than two Cleopatras
Bomb graffiti on the tomb of Nefertiti
MCs ain't ready to take it to the Serengeti
My rhymes is heavy like the mind of Sister Betty
L. Boogie spars with stars and constellations
Then came down for a little conversation
Adjacent to the king, fear no human being
Roll with cherubims to Nassau Coliseum
Now hear this mixture
Where hip hop meets scripture
Develop a negative into a positive picture

Now, everything is everything
What is meant to be, will be
After winter, must come spring
Change, it comes eventually

Sometimes it seems
We'll touch that dream
But things come slow or not at all
And the ones on top, won't make it stop
So convinced that they might fall
Let's love ourselves then we can't fail
To make a better situation
Tomorrow, our seeds will grow
All we need is dedication

Let me tell ya that,
Everything is everything
Everything is everything
After winter, must come spring
Everything is everything

Everything is everything
What is meant to be, will be
After winter, must come spring
Change, it comes eventually

Ex-Factor - Lauryn Hill

It could all be so simple
But you'd rather make it hard
Loving you is like a battle
And we both end up with scars
Tell me, who I have to be
To get some reciprocity
No one loves you more than me
And no one ever will

Is this just a silly game
That forces you to act this way
Forces you to scream my name
Then pretend that you can't stay
Tell me, who I have to be
To get some reciprocity
No one loves you more than me
And no one ever will

Hook:
No matter how I think we grow
You always seem to let me know
It ain't workin'
It ain't workin'
And when I try to walk away
You'd hurt yourself to make me stay
This is crazy
This is crazy

I keep letting you back in
How can I explain myself
As painful as this thing has been
I just can't be with no one else
See I know what we got to do
You let go and I'll let go too
'Cause no one's hurt me more than you
And no one ever will

Repeat Hook

Care for me, care for me
I know you care for me

There for me, there for me
Said you'd be there for me

Cry for me, cry for me
You said you'd die for me

Give to me, give to me
Why won't you live for me
(Repeat)

Another one of my songs... YES I am drowing in my songs.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> THIS IS HOW I FEEL NOW!!

I know how you feel. I stopped asking H to send a NC letter. I'm supposed to be in Plan B which is going fairly well. However he keeps coming over and just letting himself in. In California, you can't change the locks. So I am thinking of filing for a divorce, then I can change the locks.

I'm tired of the rollercoaster. He comes over and says he wants to move back in and then takes off with OW for a week or two. Meanwhile he insists she could be out of the picture.

The monkies are running the zoo.

YOu're funny Beleiver!!!!!!!!!

And one day sober.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> I am making shrimp for dinner and I did not buy white wine, not even a rose <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I can't drown my pain in something I HATE! YOu know I hate alcohol! It's true. YOu can ask everyone that knows me IRL...

ANyways we can't let the freaking monkies run the show. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> WE HAVE TO RUN THE DARN SHOW!

Like the song goes.. "YOU LET GO,AND I"LL LET GO TOO."

ok I should really start getting dinner ready lol

kisses*

Sorry! This is the second time this morning I have somehow double-posted! What the he**?!?

<small>[ February 26, 2004, 11:56 AM: Message edited by: Amy Maree ]</small>

OK, I have to chime in and defend my state.

I live in a POTATO field! IDAHO! You know, just a couple of states over from you, Believer.

Harudah is in BRUSSELS! The have brussel sprout fields there - duhhhhh!

Lordslady, poor woman, lives over in corn country in IOWA. Which is somewhere over in the middle of the country. Probably in tornado alley, for crying out loud.

Geez. Do I have to know EVERYTHING???

Gaul! Geez. Crimany. Jiminy. Whositswhatsits.

For crying out loud.

I have to go shower. I just went to the gym, and I still have that dang cramp in my a** that I woke up with early Wednesday morning, as punishment for missing yoga Tuesday night, because I accidentally fell asleep after accidentally taking 2 anti-anxiety pills. Sigh.

So, I have to go to yoga for sure tonight. Nobody should have to have a WH in the fog, and a cramp in their a**, you know???

I know you both know. Chat at you later.

HUGS! Amy

I feel blah! I don't know what to feel.

The OW is begging him to call her. Ok, he showed me the msgs and that he did not answer to her. Still don't know how to block numbers, but you see my plan to leave is the right plan. It was the right plan for the beginning. I am tired.

I'm very tired.

Can you go out walking in the brussel sprouts fields? Exercise is very good for your spirits.

I've been backing off on walks on the beach because we've been having stormy weather and lots of rain. I can feel the difference. Been much more depressed lately.

Your H is realizing that you may go. That is good. I feel no sympathy for OW. She knew what she was getting into. You did not.

Girl.. its freezing cold outside! So much snow... lots of snow.
The OW is still calling like crazy! I read the msgs "Please tell me you're ok, please I am begging you call me.. tell me you're ok. Just one SMS.. i don't want more." That was since yesterday. He didn't msg her he told me.

Well, he took today off since I've been asking him to take a day off. I made lunch today, not dinner. We're listening to music. ... I don't know if I am enjoying the day with him. Last night we really talked about his moving. Since it moving to another country that means we have to get lots of papers done. I will probably have to leave him to prepare for him to come, but you see I don't trust to leave him alone. So if I leave, I leave him. There is no way around. So he told me, to give him some time to work on our marriage. We're going to do a little shopping. I'm dying my hair BLONDE.. shocking. I need to send you guys a picture of me soon! with the blond and without lol.

I keep calling the OW "A FAT WHITE WHORE". Oh lord.. what is wrong with this girl. I mean I think aboutit. A married man, got with me and even if I was in love with him.. and wanted him to myself I wouldn't beg. He told me, "I'm married and I want to work on my marriage, being with you has caused much trouble with my family." This is the main SMS he sent her after he stopped couple of weeks ago. Almost a month. She just can't take it.. She keeps sending him msgs telling him how much she still think about him and how much she still loves him and will be there for him. Like she is waiting for me to leave him. AFTER SHE TOLD ME SHE WOULD LEAVE US ALONE. My mom in law wants to call her and tell her to leave us alone. I told her not to do it.

Then she pulled another trick..telling my H that I sent her msgs.. and I don't even have a cell phone. I used this online sms thing to send msg to my husband and accidentally sent it to her. She used that opportunity to tell my husband I'm bugging her. OKAY!!! I hate when people lie.. so I showed my husband all msgs that I have been sending and I'm really allowed on 2 msgs per day..with that free stuff online. Anyways, he beleived me.

I don't understand.. a man.. told you "look, I'm married, I want to stay with my family. You're a nice girl and you must go on with your life." She cannot get that! And he ignores her for WEEKS until she pulled that stunt! Then even now.. since wednesday he told her that "my wife won't be bothering you anymore.." with that tone, I would have leave that man alone. He have a preference doesn't he? SHE DOESN"T KNOW MY HUSBAND"S LAST NAME! Or where he lives.. I don't understand. This ***** is crazy. I have a feeling if she knew where we live she would show up to ask him. "MAKE THE CHOICE" but when she would see the competition she would "BACK DOWN".

I am not in a competition.. he's my husband, he clearly made the choice to be with me and not with her... what I don't get is that she is still insisting! It's driving me nuts. Only if I could get her [censored] fired from work.. Anyways is on Medical leave and may never go back to work. I guess that's GOOD! This whole situation ****ed me up with school.. good it's killing her. I hope she has a heartattack with her 300 lbs [censored] and be done lol.. (I know I'm evil...evil GIRL) lol

anyways just venting.. My anger has shifted. I have a CRAZY OW that won't leave him alone.

Anyways.. going shopping for things.

Post your picture on the MB picture site. I'm going to put mine up. And maybe I will add one of OW and H in bed together.

Hey I might even add one of OW's H - Joe. He is a cutie-pie, and so nice. Maybe someone has a nice friend for him.

Harudah,

Does your husband have the backbone to get a restraining order?

Dobie

beleiver.. girl you crack me up!! If I could find OW picture I'd post it too..she's some fat [censored] red head.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> lol.. sighs*

I'll post one of H, and me.

Debie she doesn't even know we live in Brussels, but with our ISP she might figure it out already. She lives 45 minutes away from us. My husband met her online and ****ed her in the back of our car the same night. And she asked him to **** her, he couldn't say "NO" since she bought him dinner! lol.. you know I am a sad little B.

I even made a joke.. I told him that "you gave it up for cheap... just dinner." he said "It was about 25 euro's for the whole meal.." I think it was the male prostitue movie we were watch and he was asking 10 bucks..
Uhmm It's kinda weird don't you think? I beleive him now.. I do.. he doesn't want to be with her. They started as friends online, she wanted more and he told me he wanted to see where it would with her.. and YES IT WENT TOO ****ING FAR! but this girl couldn't get enough of a good D... if you know what I mean..

Anyways I hope she doesn't show up in our house soon

I'm gonna have some tea.. take bath in some herbs.. and pray for my soul.. because I have sin. I think about things I would do! lol but I WON"T! I already told Amy what I've done to people who has done me wrong. Hubby do not want to be on the flip side of my personality, because it will be all over for him lol.

Well hugs* Beleiver.. these idiotic men are driving us to the walk of insanity, but NO! we must be insane for us, not for them!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

You all are very bad today.

Harudah, have you been drinking gin again?

Believer, have you been drinking? And where is this picture place. And how, may I ask (dare I ask) do you have a picture of WH and OW? I am so afraid of that answer.

Lots of love and hugs. Amy

Amy - I bumped it up to the top of general questions. Check everyone out.

I could have gotten picture when I went to H's house when he was supposed to be at work, roommate let me in, and I walked up to the bedroom where they were boinking and knocked on the door and said "Larry it's your wife - you wanted to talk about reconciliatio - well here I am.

Amy - I bumped it up to the top of general questions. Check everyone out.

I could have gotten picture when I went to H's house when he was supposed to be at work, roommate let me in, and I walked up to the bedroom where they were boinking and knocked on the door and said "Larry it's your wife - you wanted to talk about reconciliation - well here I am."

<small>[ February 27, 2004, 11:12 AM: Message edited by: believer ]</small>