I have a question for those of you that can help me figure this out.

This is what I know - My husband was at a bar the other night and here is the story he told me.
He said that he was talking to another girl she bought him a beer and then he bought her one. He said the conversation did get a little heated. After a hour or so he walked out and she walked with him and tried to put her arm oround his waist and she then invited him back to her place. He told me that he did not go and he told her no and left and cried. He told me that he couldnt do it. The thing is that two days later when i asked him to tell me the story again he told me that when they had walked out he told he was going in to have another beer. When I told him that he didnt tell me that the other time (he told me he left) he said that he never told me that.
So, I really feel like things just dont add up and that he did cheat. I am not crazy and I do not believe him and I do not believe that two people drinking at a bar that walk out together that nothing happened (he said he did not kiss her or anything)
Am I supposed to believe this? In my eyes he at least had a emotional affair.
We have had a lot of problems in our marriage and have been separated for two months because of his drinking that he is supposed to be working on.
I also think that when someone tells you something there is a godd possibility that all you are getting is just the tip of it all.

So please tell me - do you think he slept with this other woman?
I do appreciate your opinions.

How would you gauge his behavior since then? Is he acting furtive, distracted, foggy? How have you reacted towards him? What is your interaction since this happened? Did he return that night distraught or with a smile on his face?

Most people always try to play down a bad thing and play up a good thing. I would guess hes playing the incident down. Why is a married man in a bar anyways unless he wants company?

When i used to go to bars/clubs i went for only one reason "company". Somtimes i would meet sombody, somtimes i wouldnt.

If a man came up to you in a bar offered you a drink etc, do you think he wants to talk about the weather and get to know your inner self or get in your pants? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I can tell you i never have approached one woman in my life in a bar/club to be friends. I always was attracted to them in some way. Women who approched me ended up trying to do somthing with me, THATS WHY THEY APPROACHED ME. This is the way things work (99% of the time).

I have no idea how to squeeze the truth out of him. Maybe he didnt do anything, somtimes your in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I told my H. this!

If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck then it must be a duck!!!!

He changed his story and if you are questioning his behavior, something happened! Go with what you feel! DRILL HIS A$$ Sneak and spy on him next time he goes out!

Ali <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Thanks for everyones input
As far as his behavior goes, I really dont know if it is different or not since we are not living together at this time.
I happen to agree that something did happen and he will deny it till the day he dies.
He says that he would never do that (because he loves me), but he went there and had it on his mind (he told me that) but he didnt do it? I just dont believe that at all. He said they drank together, talked together, danced together, walked out together and then *BAM* he changed his mind? I just dont think that is the way it happened at all. Thanks again

Ok, I have been drilling him over and over and I told him I just wanted the truth and that there is nothing better that the truth. I told him it would make me feel better just knowing what happened.
Well, this morning I talked with him on the phone and begged and pleaded with him. His first story was that nothing happened that the only thing was that she put his arm around his waist and that was it period and that he told her no and got in his truck and left. Well, I got him to admit that he kissed her and from the way i took it she touched him (he just kind of admitted that)
So, in all reality if I got that much out of him that they prob. did sleep together, right?

Please tell me what you think about this so far

Hi silver

I think you are handling this right.. Keep talking and tell him you need his total honesty. Also read all the posts again. It's possible that's all that happened and yet if his story keeps changing it does tend to make you wonder if you are hearing the whole truth..

I wish you luck..
Hugs
Lmh

Nice work <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> , sometimes it helps to assure the cheater things will be ok if they are honost.

You can hit him with your anger/rage later after you feel you got all the information.

H may say later on "i thought you said things will be ok if i told you everything". You can respond "yea, so what, our relationship has been based on lies, what did you expect from me?" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
(that was a joke, but not)

I agree that I am doing this the right way but what I really want to know is could a man go that far (as far as he has admitted to) and then say no? I mean they were both intoxicated and kissing and he says he did not sleep with her. I just cannot see it going that far and then he says no.

Dont you all agree?