Well, truthfully those type of lies are ALL Huge red flags for infidelity.
However, that doesn't mean he is, and No one here can know that he is or isn't for sure. This is where you have to become, like it or not, a detective. You have to find out all you can, in ANY way you can.
But while you are digging YOU Must keep your emotions under control and your Mouth SHUT! Almost all WS (wayward spouses) will lie and evade Even when the BS (betrayed spouse) has 100% proof. So DO NOT confront him on just any little thing you find. All this will do is make him More on his toes and make him be better at covering his tracks. Don't give him an opportunity to "talk" his way out of all this. Because WS are experts at manipulation and lies. Also Because you want to believe in him, he can use that against you & basically "guilt" you into thinking your just a bad wife for ever even suspecting him. They can "explain" away and have a "story" for everything.
There are many ways to catch them. Phone records, emails, computer spy wear, credit card statements, following them, ect., ect. As for me, When I had clues (but no solid proof) of my WW cheating on me, I turned to the internet for possible ways to catch her red handed. What I ended up using was an infidelity Home Test Kit . The name of the company was "Check Mate". What the kit does is check for semen in a person's cloths. It works for both men or women, as after sex there will be some semen in the cheating spouses undergarments. Even if they do shower, some always "leaks" out after they dress and walk around.
I was going crazy with suspicion for about a month not knowing "HOW" to catch my wife. Then I orderd the kit. I then stopped having sex with my wife for 2 weeks, as to not get a false posotive. Then I made sure that all her cloths were clean every day, again so no case of a mistake. Then I tested her panties the day after I suspected she may have been with her OM. And yes, there was semen in her panties and it sure wasn't mine. Finally, I had the real solid proof I needed to confront her (along with all the rest of the circumstantial evidence I had). Indeed, just like most WS she still tried to lie her way out of it. And most of her arguments made sense. But DNA doesnt' lie. In fact, since I couldn't get a video tape, this was the next best thing. Unfortunately, come to find out (much, much later) the A had been going on for 2 years and basically Every day because she worked with this man EVERY day (her lab's supervisor) and ALL the sex and other mess happened AT the hospital where they worked, while on the clock. (SheeesH) I had NO CLUE till that last month.
To end, you need the proof not only to catch him, but to be able to put your own mind at ease. I know how this suspecting but "not knowing" can really eat you up and make you feel crazy and out of control.
On a brighter note, maybe you will be one of the lucky ones. It is possible that after all your snooping you'll find out that he is not cheating after all. But you need to know one way or the other. So be strong and stay diligent ( & hard as it is; be quiet). Remember that YOU can always handle the Truth. Good luck and successful hunting.
Also, great move in coming here to MB'ers. Read, vent and learn. It really can help.
<small>[ March 18, 2004, 07:08 AM: Message edited by: top rope ]</small>
