Where to start? The neighbors have been coming over in droves with Christmas presents for the girls and me. One neighbor took the girls shopping and let them pick out stuff for me. (neighbor spent a bundle) The door bell rings about an hour ago and in walks my neighbors husband with a turkey he just deep fried for us. I found Christmas presents sitting on my porch last night. I am totally overwhelmed by all of this. I guess that I'm not such a horrible person, even though H says I am a terrible and nasty person. <BR>On another subject....I am having to go through a child custody evaluation that has been ordered by the court via my H and his attorney. I went to the session and she seemed to think my H is wacked out and it isn't me after all. It seems he went yesterday for his 21/2 hour session and he was late. Only had 45 minutes with her and then got in a fight with the front desk about his bill. I called him yesterday to tell him that the girls appt is Monday the 27th at 2:30. He told me he wasn't going to take them and screamed at me for scheduling their appt during "his" time. Then today I got a call from the Drs. office to tell me H called them up and cancelled the girls appt. I asked.."can he do that, it is court ordered" she said well I don't know but he said you need to reschedule on "your" time. How can he just cancel an appt like that? He has the girls that week for his part of the Christmas break...I wasn't trying to interfere with his time but that was the only time they could get them in soon, otherwise we were looking at the end of Jan. and into Feb. I am so frustrated. He keeps saying I am slowing down the D and I thought that I have been trying everything to get it into gear so he could be the free man that he wants to be. <BR>Also he gave the girls a Christmas card to give to me. On the inside he wrote....Maybe when you get over YOUR anger we could be friends. Is this guy losing it or what? Throws me in jail...takes me to court over calling him back in May (because he filed a restraining order)...has me going to a dr for custody evaluation.....never calls the girls......writes me a letter last week that says he will be glad to take back custody of the house and girls if I can't financially take care of them.....And he wants to be friends. Gee thanks....Maybe I could be friends with his girlfriend next....NOT!!!!!Am I just being bitter here or do I have reason not to want to be his friend at this very moment? Am I just doing something wrong here? Yes even through all of this I still do have feelings for him. I still love him and wished things could be different. But they aren't and I can't be friends with someone who treats the girls and I this way until he takes blame for this affair and the things he has done. Even up to this very moment he feels he has done nothing wrong. Everything is my fault. Help me!!!!!!!!!

You need to change your minker to Wife of Mental!!!! He is the "mental" one sounds like!<P>It is amazing that your H would want to be "friends" after all that has passed. Who knows...this could be the first sign he is sorry for some of HIS actions and truly DOES want to have a better relationship with you. But, porbably ONLY on HIS terms.....not a 50-50.<P>Glad all of your neighbors have gotten into the Christmas spirit to provide for you and your family. How NICE - these little things to help Christmas seem as "normal" as can be in the circumstances for your children and you. <P>Roll Me Away<P><P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Mental,<BR>My H also says that he wants to be my friend after the hell that he has put me, our daughter and our families through! He is currently living w/ the OW, planning to file for divorce, but still wants to come over and have sex on occasion! Unbelievable!<P>I'm glad that you have neighbors that care so much about you! Have a Merry Christmas!<P>Darlene

I think my EW has given up on the idea of us being friends.<P>Our spouses can just be incredible!

This "be friends " is indeed as fantastical as the rest of their lives.<BR>I read your post and have not had exactly the same experiences as you, but i do believe my EH is insane in some ways. His thing is to take all my resources, expect me to do it all for the kids emotionally, financially and to take all their teenage frustration while he has taken not one iota of interest in this part of their lives, but "plays games" with their heads...promising the sun moon and stars but delivering nothing except dinners out once a week and then not as a family unit (i.e. him and all the kids..he only takes one or 2 together in case they fight..Naturally they never fight when with me!!!!NOT )<BR>He wonders why we cannot be friends....and yet will not contact me at all even to ask about the children as he really is not interested in the reality of their pain. They do not discuss any issues with him.<BR>How confusing. He wants to be friends with me but is on the same level as a friend to his children who need a father, not a friend!!!<P>This is part of their confusion as to who and what they are and in terms of their happiness which they do not understand.

Don't you wonder just where their brains are sometimes??<P>And what wonderful neighbors you have!!!<P>Hoping you and your family have a very Merry Christmas!<P>lori

Thanks for all of your posts.......Sometimes when I read a lot of these posts I realize that he is acting pretty "normal" for a guy who screwed up his family and can't take any blame. I used to think I was the only one who has experienced any of this. NOT!!!!!! I wished he would just wake up and realize the crap he has done and say I'm sorry.<BR>Nancy