My story short and simple is a breakdown in the marriage. I have written my story around oct of last year under feelinglonely. My husband met someone, told me he was in love with her, now says he did not know what he was saying. He wants a divorce, claims he has never loved me, felt pressured to marry me. Our youngest daughter is coming up to be 2 yrs old he tells me he was going with the flow to have her. I am sick of hearing these remarks. He has been involved in pranic healing and psychics who tell him thngs from past lives that we are not meant to be together. Things have really changed since he got involved with this. Just today he tells me it was because I was trying to controll him and that I was to whiny in our marriage, also I told him 7 yrs ago when I was mad that I wish I had never married him. He is selling all his trucks that he has always wanted to work on. He was a workholic and now tells me he did this because he did not want to be around me. I am finding this harsh and overwhelming. All I wanted was some quality time to go camping and spend time as a family. He had loads of time by himself working in his shop. He cant stay away from the vitamin shop where this other woman is. He sleeps there on a pranic healing bed and claims nothing is going on. My husband has hardly dated anyone before meeting me at age 21 we are now 34 and 35. He has never been good at expressing his feelings and when I do it looks like I am the bad one. I have tried doing plan A but he is adament about this. It seems like a mid life crisis? need some advice what he sais to me makes me feel like it was somehow my fault and that I was a naggy wife. I am exhausted of all he is saying. I felt like things were not that bad between us he has a totally different respective. i feel there are bumps in a marriage he said today in a happy voice that "he wont be seeing me in his next life" I feel like is brainwashed. Its just sad to think that things so small in our marriage could make him take it this far. what should I do?

I remember your story. He does sound like he is brainwashed. How scary! Can you try Plan B before you get completely sick and tired of him?

bump

thanks for the advice. I really do think it is time for plan b. My problem is I am in school full time right now in the Licenced Practical Nurse Course and He is caring for the kids during the day while I go to school. I would be afraid to ruffle his feathers. He does want to move out but financially it will be hard for him unless we sell the house. My hardest part through all of this is feeling cheated from this marriage. How can you marry someone and then he acts like he has never cared, other people can go through pure hell, addictions, or affairs and some can manage to get their marriage back together. we have had usual stuff lack of communication is a big one, he never wants to talk and when something bothers him he stuffs it down and lookout 10 yrs later he has alot to say. I feel that is so unfair. Life sucks!

How much longer to you have in school? I am so glad you are going to school. You may have to stay around awhile longer.

Get your ducks in line and do the 180's.

Actually I have a ways to go in school. This monday we start our first practicum, and the course in not finished untill Dec 17, 04. Last year in march I noticed my husband seemed really depressed and he really started getting involved in all this pranic healing psychic stuff, and In august he told me he was in love with this other woman but knew it was wrong and they both knew it was wrong. But now he denies it and says he did not know what he was talking about and that he was just confused. Tell me if I am right, but isnt it true that when you have feelings for someone else it makes you take a look at your marriage and then you start to second guess everything and might start thinking how can you have feelings for someone else when you are suppose to have these feelings for your spouse?
My husband really relies on his feelings when he makes decisions. I tend to think I guess in a logic kind of way and look for reasons why a person would feel that way, not just relying on what my feelings tell me. Anyhow when all this started I felt I needed some security so I went back to school. I have been a stay at home mom for the past 7 yrs and I was a bookeeper before that, but I wanted something that would provide me with a decent paycheck to look after the kids and myself.

When they are involved with OW, they completely change. Continue your schooling and don't expect too much right now. It will take some time for him to get back to reality.

I read something on one of these posts and I wish I knew where it was. Someone had posted that their spouse tells them that anything they ever did or said was never good enough for them. They responded by saying that when a spouse is saying this they are then making the blame on the other person. My H is doing just this. I try and be truthfull because I know that everything is both of fault, from not talking or taking the time to understand each other. what I cannot stand it sometimes how he makes it come accross that he is right about certain things. To me no one is right and we will never know what could or could not have been. I just have strong beleif that marriage is for a lifetime and you do not give up and say oh well I don't love this person any more. Sometimes marriage just doesn't feel good and its about learning form your mistakes. He says he is learning and has learned and that is why he wants a divorce. Does any one have any insight?