Here I am six months after d-day, and the A my WH decided to have is still effecting my life. It has effected how I trust, how I think about things, and my job. I got pulled into my bosses office for a list of things I need to improve on. She said that before D-day I as a great worker, but now my work performance had suffered. She waited until now before telling me because she thought I couldn't handle it. Well, wouldn't an A effect your life? How would she feel if the person you are suppose to trust the most in your life betrayed you? I am tired of being pulled into 7 different directions I am tired of not LBing, I am tired of being strong, I am tired of trying to be what my husband wants me to be, I am tired of budgets, calendars, bills, OW (who won't leave us alone), housecleaning, laundry, cooking, and I am tired of not having my EN's met!!! I want peace, and my boring life back.

Sorry, just venting!

Oh, I almost forgot, I am tired of being nice!!

Dont be nice.

You will probably think I'm getting all I deserve but I am the FWW and was also pulled into my boss's office this morning. He said since I have been having personal problems my work has suffered terribly and he wants to have a serious review with me next week.

So, A's suck for all involved. I still don't expect you to feel the least bit of sympathy for me but I am in a very, very good recovery with my H and went NC the minute D-day arrived and have kept to it.

Jenny

I do feel sorry for you. I don't care who is involved, BS or WS, affairs effect everyone and everything. I am so happy to hear that you are in a good recovery. Keep up the good work!

Good luck with your boss next week. I am beginning to think to that this all boils down to what is most important. My line of thinking is that if I had a choice between my family and my job, the job goes out the window. There are other jobs.

I have a very demanding WS also, who expects for everyone to work 24/7. If he stays up all night to work than you should to. Today I plan on making a list of everything expected of me.

Are you taking any anti-D's? They really helped me. I was like a zombie at work until I started them. Now I'm doing great at work, although WH is still with OW.

All of this is very stressful. Trying to work on relationship, family, and job. HUGs to you. It will get better.

T456, You don't mention if the A is still ongoing?? Have you discussed IC or MC??? I'm 5 days after DDay and so far have been very respectful...No LBs....I'm not convinced though that you can make someone work on the M or have NC if they aren't willing. So much seems out of our hands unfortunately. The decision to not see or communicate with OM has to came from my wife, not some continuous reminder from me. She knows how I feel.

Ingreatpain,

The affair has ended, and I do believe that my WH has not contacted OW back, even after she e-mails. (This also not his only affair). It's just that my WH is "high-maintance". I had a really bad week with work, etc... and all he could complain about last night is that I act like I don't love him or even want him around, or wish he were dead. Not true! Now it seems I cannot even have a bad day or week. I am just so tired of it all. Maybe this is all anger? I keep wondering who is going to meet my EN's??? I try to meet his and everyone elses. I am trying to work full time, raise our children, keep our house clean, join husband in his work activities we have to attend, keep up the kids activities, meet my WH 's EN's, and I even made a two page list of all my responsibilities at home (my marriage, kids, house, farm etc...). I am just tired... can anyone relate???