Hello all,

15 months ago I found my self getting attracted to a man in my community. I was very suprised and I fought hard against it but it grew stronger and stronger. We are both married with children. I suspected he felt the same. We never voiced our feelingsout to each other but it was there and I do not think the people around were fooled. I had my head in clouds about this guy and would have done anything for him. My husband complained about our closeness and I would try to curtail it and would succes for a short while. Eventually after a serious complain 5 months ago, I cut the guy off and withdrew emotionally. I thought I was getting the hang of it until some weeks ago. This time, I found myself really without restraint, also wanting him sexually, very badly. Up until then ,the physical atraction had been strong but never with this intensity.
A few days ago, after a gathering where we met, I found later that night that I was not so crazy about him anymore. All of a sudden,,He was just a nice guy! I didnt have the urge to see him all the time (I was ALWAYS thinking about him the last 15months)or talk to him. Infact the last time I saw him,I spoke to him more out of concern as I am worried about hurtig his feelings. I dont know what to do WRT him or myself. I know I had fought against this feeling for so long yet, I feel like Ive had a crash, I am hanging in midair, lost , Like I've lost something, like I'm incomplete, unbalanced, lost my orientation. So sudden, unexpected... HELP! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Welcome to marriagebuilders. It is a good place to be. What you have been having is an emotional affair. There are many others here that are in withdrawal from either a phyical or emotional affair. You will get lots of support and advice here.

There is an emotional needs questionnaire here that you can print out and fill out with your husband. You both need to be sure that your emotional needs are being met.

There is also phone counseling with the Harley's which is expensive. However they can usually narrow down the problem very quickly and help you.

So keep reading and posting here and you will get the support you need, and find that your feelings are normal and you are not alone.

believer thanks for the reply.
I understand the concept of emotional affair now. I came accoss it today as I searched the web. I guess my head was too much in the clouds before now to even understand. But I still dont understand what I am feeling NOW. How do such things end? Especially in asutuation where I will have to continue to see him a few times a week? For those who may have experience here, how do EA end? Have I falled'out of love' with him or what? Having tried so hard to end it (I even went on a 40 day fast) to end it, why do i seem to want to clutch at what I felt I had? Why am I feeling so low? How do I treat him?

You really need to have no contact at all with him. That is the only way. However that will be too hard to think about right now. Just keep reading here and posting.

The feeling while you are attached to someone is like an addiction. You are probably coming down from that. But don't worry, we will help you.

Check out the home page here and read the "quick clicks" on infidelity, restoring the marriage, and reconciliation.

Also read lost bird's posts, and dadto3boys. They are now trying to break away and having a terrible struggle.

If you feel bad for your friend, refer him to this site. It will help him too.