Walked in to take kids back this morning and go to MC and got hit with D papers. Shamed W into going to MC anyway. Had it out for an hour there and another hour afterwards. Got her to say she would call her Attorney tomorrow and try to get the proceedings stopped. Not sure where to go from here, but shes scared cause she knows that I dont like the custody arrangement shes putting forth. I want primary custody and she kows I have a good chance of getting it. W did agree to another MC next week so I guess we'll go from there. Keep prayin for me please I'm gonna need all I can get.

medic22003, I hope all works out for you on this one. I'll be praying for you.

Medic,

I wonder if she was just feeling really discouraged and did this on impulse?

You are doing plan A, right? I know its hard when you aren't living together, but try to be loving whenever you see her, and don't expect anything back for the time being.

I sense that she is unhappy in general. Or is she angry with you over something, do you think? Has she said anything? What reason did she give for this?

Shul

She has alot of mental problems in that she has alot of old issues that she has never resolved. I dont know if she did it on impulse or not. Probably. She tells me she loves me very much but she doesnt know if she can live with me. She isnt willing to admit that while I need to work on things, so does she. I hope that she gets this petition stopped so I dont have to go and file my own right away. The custody battle is going to be UGLY.

Hang in there, it's gonna be hard, but you can do this. It is a shock, I'm sure, but all you can do is stick with the plan.

I know I can do my part, but its all for naught if she doesnt do hers. If she doesnt get the pettion stopped, I will be forced to file my own. I want to continue MC but I only have 30 days to send the papers stating that I got served or they will go to court without me. I will not get caught with my pants down.

Talked to W about 30 min ago to see if she had stopped D proceedings. All she would say was that nothing had been done that a phone call wouldnt fix and that she would take care of it. I dont hink she plans to do anything and the longer she stalls me the less time I have to cover my butt. I have an appt with my attorney next week. If she tells me that she stopped it, I will have him confirm it about an hour before we are supposed to go to MC that day. If its not stopped, MC godbye, court hello. Thats all I can do. If she wont fight for this M with me then there is no point in beating my head against the wall for nothing. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Hang on.

Something is going on. From following this, someone prompted this action on her part, and she's not being completely honest.

I'm unsure what to do next, there is a very fine line between trying to recover your marriage, and getting the screws put to you in divorce because you didn't want to foil your plans.

This is a catch 22...if you contact your attorney, she'll consider that a HUGE LB, which you're trying really hard NOT to do. But if you DON'T and ASSUME, she's halting the proceedings and she really ISN'T...then you're in a bad place.

Has she mentioned any of this before ?

Did this come completely out of left field ?

Think clearly, rationally, not emotionally..... we'll figure this out and what to do next.

I wasnt expecting to happen when it did but its been in the back of my mind for the entire time shes been gone. The Mc attendance I'm beginning to think was on the advice of her attorney simply because we probably would have been court ordered to do so. I have an appointment with my attorney next weds. We are supposed to have MC that day and the other thing supposed to be "taken Care of." I will have my attorney contact hers before MC and ask him if the proceedings have been halted, if they havent then I will know where I need to go from there. If she doesnt stop them before we go back to MC then I'm just eating away at my time to respond. I really dont trust her at all right now. And yes her mother is visiting, I'm sure there was a lot of nudging from that direction.

She told me tonight that she had stopped the process. I will have attorney verify that as soon as I am financially able. She tried to say that if it did come down to a D there was no reason why we couldnt use the same lawyer <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> . I told her there was no way that would happen. Made her mad because she knows I dont like the prposed parenting plan. I think she might be realizing it would behoove her to work on this a little more. I could be wrong, but I hope she will at least try a little more.

Talking to W this evening and we discussing how I felt that she was trying to cut down my time with the kids. She is working Thurs-Sun., I have those days off yet she would rather me not pick them up until Fri. That puts my kids with a sitter even though I have been gracious will have only had them 2 days in the last 2 weeks while her mother is visiting. She also referred to the MC appointment next week as "my" little appointment and that the hour we would be there would be cutting into her time with them. That is bogus and I think shes still playing the D game. I will know for sure on weds after my lawyer checks with hers. We were discussing the MC and how she thought the slate needed to be wiped clean. I agreed with her, but she really doesnt sound like "shes" willing to wipe it clean. In fact she told me she didnt know if she could. I have this terrible feeling shes playing me and I need to get my [censored] in gear. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> . I dont know what to do besides pray, pray,pray. I would ask for all I can get from you all too.

I think the presence of your MIL is steering her.
When is she due to leave ?

This definately doesn't sound like the same person you've been dealing with all these weeks.

Stay as strong as you can right now. Contact the attorney to safeguard yourself.

ONE attorney can NOT represent BOTH parties. It just doesn't work that way.

By just letting HER attorney handle it, it pretty much goes the way SHE would like...her attorney won't negotiate for YOU.

Let us know what's going on....praying for you.

I'm pretty sure this thing is going to the courthouse pretty soon. I fought the good fight and when I lok back I will know that I wasnt the one who gave up. At some point you just have to stop beating a dead horse though. I would like to ask for prayers in helping me make the difficult choices I'm going to have make in the weeks to come. I hate this but I'm all done in. W is not even putting up a front now. I dont think she ever really meant to come back at all. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

I will pray for you. I'm so sorry you're going through this. You're right, you have fought the good fight, you've worked so hard.

Like I said before, even divorce papers don't guarantee you two won't reconcile, so just hang in there. Be careful in your approach, this shouldn't be bitter.

When is MC ?

MC is weds, but I really cant see us going. I'm going to the attorney beforehand and I'm having a gut feeling that D proceedings are still underway. I just dont think she wants to get her head on straight.

NO !!

Go ahead...see the attorney..but go to MC !!!

She said she would...even with the snide remark...do NOT give in like this.

You never want her to think YOU finally gave up !!!

Don't you do this !