My husband has another woman and wanted to leave. I begged him to stay and work it out. He said he still loves me but not the same, and theres no hope to the relationship. He asked if I can accept it, he would stay to help financially and with the kids. I agreed,only because he is diabetic and I am afraid he will not take his insulin like he should or the other woman will not. While he lives here with me, he is still showing affection towards me,intimacy with me,and goes on family outings as if nothing happened but at the same time calls the other woman and visits every other weekend,and tells me to look for someone else. I need to know how do I win him back. I feel like he is confused. The other woman knows he is married but thinks he roommates with a friend, is what he told her, and all of this is kept hush hush. If someone feel me please help!!!

slove,

What do YOU want? That question has to be answered before you can make a plan to get there. If you're staying with him only because you're afraid he won't take insulin without you, that's the wrong reason. Call up OW and explain his medical needs then kick him out. Don't be a martyr.

On the other hand, it's ok to love him and want to repair the marriage even if you don't have any practical reasons. Lots of us have been there. And it's a good reason to want to try to save things.

If you want the marriage to work, you need a plan. That's what MB is all about. Get the book "Surviving an Affair" and read it. You can start a solid Plan A. That's where you work on being the best person you possibly can. Even if the marriage fails, you're a personal success.

Call the counseling service on this site if you can. Get the real professional help. Those of us who post advice mean well, but we aren't trained.

I highly doubt that taking care of him and accepting the OW are what you want. So we won't even discuss that possibility.

You do have choices here. They're all painful, but they're YOUR choices.

And you need to break this affair news wide open. If the OW really believes what he's telling her, you need to make sure that she knows the truth. Sometimes that helps. Just don't bet on it. It may be just what he's telling you, or maybe she just won't care anyways.

You do have support here. The people on this site are wonderful for encouraging each other.

Stick with us, we will help you through this. Start in Plan A.