Well, it's been 2 months since my d-day and while I have more and more good moments, I still haven't gone a full day w/o a bout of crying or anger. My H ended the A with his co-worker the day after I found out on March 7th. It was a 10 month EA and a 8 month PA. He tells me over and over that we are meant to be together but I still don't trust him. How can I? She has not tried to contact him but he was emailing her up until about 4 wks ago! I found out when she forwarded all the emails to me! He claims he loves her as a friend only, but I don't believe him. I was thinking of setting up a fake yahoo email that would be a decoy from the OW and try and set him up. Maybe invite him for a weekend away or a night out. I want to see if he would go back. Would that be a horrible, sneaky thing to do? If he responded yes to the email, I would definitely confront him w/ any red-handed proof. I need to know for sure if I'm going to try and make this marriage work or if I have to move on. I don't feel I will know the absolute truth any other way. Please advise if this is sinking too low on my part...

Me 30 BS wife
Him 35 WH
M 7 yrs, together 12
NO kids
EA 5/03-2/04, PA 7/03-2/04
D-day 3/7/04

Dear 1withGod,

First off. Im sorry how your feeling. But it will get better with time.

One thing for me is having access to ALL H's ways of communicating. Im lucky because he's not much for the computer. ONLY cell phone. And the acct. for cell is under my name~~ So......I have access to all info. on that! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

About setting him up......hmmmmmmm <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Me personally I wouldn't do it. If you are saying N/C that should be what it is! N/C. If you are pretending to be him.....isn't that like him contacting her?? She won't know the diff. and could "read into your game that H is REALLY contacting her?" and that would start real contact???

Did that make any sense???LOL
Hope so!

Blessings,
Atruheart <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Dear 1withGod,

I'm so sorry for the hurt you are feeling. Personally, I don't think it would be a good idea to try and set him up. Hold your head high.

It sounds like she is being somewhat of an ally by forwarding his emails to you anyway. Thank her for that and let him know that he can't be working on your marriage and still be in contact with her. The No Contact has to be absolutely NO contact! Period. It can't work any other way because you can't rebuild trust otherwise.

I hope things get better for you soon.

Love and Prayers,

You need to start firmly in Plan A. Read all about it here under the thread "General Welcome to All New Builders."

I would not try to trap him. He is probably going through withdrawal now, just like an addict. Instead you need to come along side him, and show him the way back to the marriage.

Stick with us, we will help you through this.