Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum
This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at
mbrestored@gmail.com
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 4
Junior Member
|
OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 4 |
I found out this past Thursday that my wife of three years slept with another man while I was out of town. Wow, how the world can come down on you. I have never felt this much pain in my life. I have started to withdraw from people and life. I love her so much but wonder how to progress from here. I am in the house and asked if she could leave for now. She says she has closure with this guy and she wants to continue our marriage. We were in counseling while she was lying to me about the affair. I found out afterwards and she has admitted to calling him while we were in counseling. I am searching for those that have had the strength to continue on in marriage after something like this has happened. The only person I feel I can trust is GOD right now.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,166
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 2,166 |
Click on the link in my signature line. And tell his wife, if he has one. You would want to know if you were in her position, wouldn't you?
<small>[ May 04, 2004, 08:58 PM: Message edited by: johnh39 ]</small>
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,206
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,206 |
Just keep coming here for support. The hurt from betrayal is so intense but you can overcome, in time. It does take time and effort. Trust in God and trust in yourself as well.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 296
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 296 |
lostinhurt - I found out six months ago that my H of 13 years had been having an EA/PA with a woman from work that started shortly after our second child was born and I quit my full-time, financially secure job to stay at home since he travelled so much. In addition, he lied to me about it for most of those six months and only admitted to it when I was ready to ask him to leave. The pain is unimagineable, but it does get better and there are others in much tougher situations. It sounds like your WS is open to working things out but may be what they call "in the fog". That means she is clinging to the only thing that feels good right now (the affair), because hurting the people that you love does not feel good! If you still love her you can work through this pain. Good luck.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 4
Junior Member
|
|
OP
Junior Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 4 |
Thanks SpouseGuest....
The trust is a big issue. I would have never found out if I did not pull my W phone records. She lied to me even with that evidence. She eventually told me. I have all these thoughts in my head, distrust is a big one. How have you been able to build the trust and honesty back up? We are talking a ton more and she has been able to give me all the information I have asked for. She seems remourseful, yet she is trying to put her pain first. If the table was turned, I would be more concerned about her feelings than she is of mine right now. I am struggling....
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 201
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 201 |
It certainly hits you like a ton of bricks, especially if you trusted her 100%. I have felt like you do for many months, but it was really taking a toll on every aspect of my life. My job has certainly been affected terribly, but I had to find the strength to go on because I have little ones that depend on me. You need to find out what motivated her to do that and she has to be totally honest with you. I warn you, you are going to go through a terrible rollercoaster of emotions, nightmares, visions that will terrify you. When that happens, find ways to stay very busy. Her reaction is not unique. She will probably find excuses that do not make sense to you and will accuse you of things that will make you feel worse. Whatever she says, she is not trying to hurt you, she is only trying to defend herself. Best of luck.
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
770
guests, and
106
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,623
Posts2,323,503
Members71,977
| |
Most Online3,224
May 9th, 2025
|
|
|
|
|
|
