This is my story. I found out my husband cheated on me while we were engaged and I was pregnant with our child. I found out OCT 03. Well he said he was sorry and suggested we go to counseling. We went to a couple of sessions but he was deployed to Iraq in Nov. So we haven't really had a chance to deal with the problem. While he was here I asked him for the passwords to his email and cell phone. He thought I was being too drastic and did not give them to me (this sould have been a clue). However, I already had the password to his email account, I just wanted to see if he would give it to me. OK to get to the point I've been checking his email. I think the woman he had an affair with in over there also, but in a different location. My problem is I asked him to stop communicating with her. Also I've learned through emails with some of his buddies that if he could find a willing participant he would get with her while he's there. There was another email about a female that is being release from the military and he said he hated that because he had plan on trying to get with her when he get back. I haven't said anything to him about this yet because he doesn't know I have his password. But I feel like why am I even putting an effort to hold on to this marriage. This is making it hard for me to be faithful to him. I am sruggling with temptation, but I am reminded that I made a promise to God that I will faithful through good times and bad. Obviously he hasn't changed and he has intention on being unfaithful again. My question is am I overreacting? Could it be that he's just talking? Should I not be checking his email? And how can I regain trust when it seems like he's still trying to have extra marital realtionships behind my back?
Holding all this information in is driving me crazy and it's hard to pretend like everything is fine when he calls. I don't want to upset him because he needs to have a clear mind to perform his dutiies. I think when he returns I am going to leave him. I'll give him a couple of months to to get re-adjusted to civilian life and then I think I'm seperating. OK I have talked enough, I would appreciate any advice that you all have to offer. Thanks.

I read your post and found alot of similarities with my marriage. My husband (he's a Marine) also cheated on me before we got married. I only found out because I got into his work email and found out about both affairs he had while we were "dating".

It's so hard not to get into his emails and dig around. I feel like he's not being honest with me about things and it makes me feel like thats what I HAVE to do. I want to learn to trust him but I've caught him in so many lies already.

We've been married almost a year now and it's still hard. I hate feeling bad about invading his privacy but at the same time..if I hadn't found out like that would I know now? Would he have come clean?

I hope you realize you aren't alone out there. Try and have some sort of communication with him and tell him that you need him to be honest and open with you no matter how much it may hurt. I wish there were a way to privately email because I have so much I'd like to share with you without it being out here in the forums. Just know that you aren't alone. We're here for you!

desiree22, email me at wettdana@yahoo.com and I'll give you a "real" email address so we can communicate.

I just emailed you. Thanks a bunch!