Two days ago my W called me at work and said that her IC would like to meet me to see if we were ready for MC. This IC has been against MC, feeling that the timing, so close to Dday, would be a disaster. I believe that she may have a valid point. As it turns out,it's my W who asked if we were ready for MC, telling me that it may be time since we are in two very different places despite being under the same roof.
By the way, the timing of this confuses me. 5 days ago, she told me that she was in love with OM and she refused my request for a "date night", saying she wasn't ready.
Here are my questions/concerns:
1) what is the GOAL of MC???
2) If both parties are not committed to
reconciling the M, isn't MC an exercise in
futility??
3) Is MC a good idea when spouse says she's in
love with OM?
4) Should MC be postponed until W is no longer
infatuated?
A part of me says that W is willing to do this so that she will be able to say that she did "all she could" and then justify moving on. I don't know how a M can be restored through MC if both are not committed. I was hopeful that W would consider MC but it seems like a losing proposition at this point. Is the main purpose of MC to restore the M or it it something else, possible re-establish communication? All of this scares me because I'm afraid that if we "use up this bullet", there may be nothing stopping her from asking for a D. MC may be a way for her to justify her current lack of feelings for me, and loving feelings for OM. Anyone??
