I wished I could say these words to you, but you no longer listen. You were part of my world that I chose never to forget. Not a day goes by that I don't think of you. That I don't miss your smile, the way your eyes lit up and your soft touch. I wish you were here right now to enjoy Christmas with our girls and me. The tree was so beautiful, as the girls decorated it this year. You will never know the pain I saw in their eyes as they opened their presents wishing Dad could be here, as well as the pain in my heart watching them. To truly know what you are missing is a pain I can not describe. Please come home......it's where you belong....<BR>Nancy

Dear Mental,<BR> I read your letter and just started crying. That is one thing none of betrayers and betrayed alike too often forget , is the children. <BR> I have seen the weight of this world and all the pain lay very heavy on my childrens shoulders. Only 4 but there pain form this mess is just as big as ours, if not bigger. <BR> We know that if H or W leaves we can take care of our selves (somewhat). But my daughter asked me one day during our seperation, " MOmmy when are you going to leave us like Daddy did". It broke my heart so much, because there whole security was ripped away from them. <BR> If we could all stop thinking of our selves for just a little while during the day and think about those precious kids. Then maybe just maybe people would not so easily find themselves in OP's Beds.<BR> Beacause it really is about A complete Selfish act. <P> Sorry for venting a bit. I just wish these kids that allot of us have could stop being hurt through selfishness.<P>------------------<BR>God is our refuge and STRENGTH,<BR>A very Present help in trouble.<BR>Psalm 46:1<BR>I sought the Lord and he heard me, <BR>and delivered me from all my fears.<BR>Psalms 34:4<P>

How they can hurt the children is something I will never understand. My kids, especially the older ones, worked so hard to make this an enjoyable Christmas. Every year my H bought me lots of chocolate for my stocking - this year my teenagers did, as well as buying Christmas gifts for me from themselves and from the little kids. They wrapped almost all the gifts for the children themselves, cooked dinner, and assembled all the "some assembly required" gifts. <P>My H left a card with money in it for each of the older girls. On the card for the oldest, he said he had a gift for her that he would give her after she returns from her vacation (she left for Florida a few hours ago). On the card for the 17 year old, who hasn't spoken to him since he left, he wrote that he has a gift for her that he would give her if she asks for it. That will be shortly after H*** freezes over. How can he treat them so differently - the older one is just as angry at him, and rarely initiates a conversation with him, but he doesn't seem to have a clue how she feels. I suppose I should be grateful that he gave both girls the same amount of money. <P>How can they spend Christmas with another family, away from his own children and with someone elses?<P>

Isn't life just full of so many surprises. Just how horrible for them not to see the pain or for that matter feel any. <BR>Nancy