Well wishes and a last farewell.
to all those who followed my story and gave advice when needed my many thanks, I dont know what I would have done had you not been there helping me out. The last few days for me have passed in a rush,so much to do...... FWS and I talked alot of younger days when funny enough it seemed like we were happier when we had very little than now when the world seemingly lies at our feet.What I say here will be no epiphany to people on here, others have said the same thing and probably better at some point.Anyway back to my conversation with my Wife, during our talk I wouldm look at her and smile thinking how beautiul she is, and what a rare treasure I was lucky enough to find so long ago, and I realized that for me, my hell was over.I looked at her and i honestly told her I was through with her affair.Inside all I feel is a love for my wife that wont die no matter what.
the past few months has been an amazingly painful but as I get farther away from the "day" the more peaceful I feel , I can see a better marriage the more we do things together everyday. I cant believe I never saw what i was missing , it just seemed so important to get ahead and get better money, sacrifices made.Turns out I almost sacrificed my family for my personal goals of supporting them in a way i thought befitting.
The more I think upon those times past when I did other things, worked that extra day I can only imagine how alone she felt. If she did the same thing too me, would i have done the same?I probably might have had an affair too if the positions were reversed.
now some would say but she made the choice to have her affair it is her fault, but I say that I took the choice out of her hands when I immersed myself in other things, it wasnt a matter of if she would have an affair but only when she would.If she didnt love me she couldve left a long time ago for the OM I was her choice and while its been hard we are going to make it. there is hardly a thing we dont do together now. we smile, laugh, cry, we are a couple again.
There are several times in your life that defines who and what you are, but ultimatly you are the one who defines you.To alot of you who are just starting out on this tough road all hope seems lost and you question everything. this time does end, the pain does recede and your spouse will hopefully like mine did, love you the way you should be again.
LOY, CWMAC, RW ill keep you guys in my prayers.
cliff
