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My wife of several years was diagnosed with depression by our family doctor. I knew something was terribly wrong when she told me some of the thoughts that were going through her head. Our doctor put her on a low dose of Prozac which continued to climb over the course of two years..

I watched my wife go from 95lbs to 165lbs after she started to take the Prozac and slowly turn into a woman I didn't know... At 4 feet 10 inches high the weight gain was obviously noticed by every person we knew... I was worried about her health as well as her disdain for sex with me.

As you guessed, she did have an affair... I was beside myself and found out after going to a Shrink, I had did "everything" wrong from the point of realizing the affair to throwing out my wife when I let her know I knew all about it... The point of me spending my time with showing my dirty laundry to all is the hope it will prevent another person from making the same mistakes I did... What follows is exactly what happened.. This is not for the faint of heart but people reading this no doubt would prefer the truth then blathering watered down hog-wash...

I knew something was going on when I started seeing numerous porn links in our internet history... At first I was excited, believing that she was getting her sex drive back I just let it ride. After over a month with no change in our sex life I started to dig deeper into the computer. I was devastated to find my wife had joined a swingers club! I joined the site and spent horrific hours reading about this lifestyle, other peoples posts and adds. I found my wife's profile and died...

With a little work I was able to figure out her password and read her whole chat history! I have never felt so weak and sick in my life! I went from a 6'2'', very well built man to a gaunt depressed wreck.. Of course I started to think about how lame I was to have caused her to do this and didn't know what to do... I lost it at work (only man in an office of attractive girls) and went to the owner of my company who was kind enough to allow me to vent and patched me up enough to make it out the front door of the company with red eyes...

I made it another month without saying anything to my wife, keeping track of her schedule and even chatting with her while she thought I was another swinger... Asking her questions I should never have (MISTAKE)! Of course my questions centerned around what I thought my defects were and some of them were answered exactly like I wanted them to be..

I have, for most of my sexual life suffered from premature ejaculation and this fact weighed heavy on my mind when assigning blame to myself for my S.O's PA... Aside from the premature ejaculation I always had this hang up about anal sex (with the hang up being I really wanted to do that with my wife)who would not let me... You can imagine the hurt when I find out through my own investigation that she let the "other guy" do that... I was in bad shape and after the anal sex thing with the other guy I came into the house and stunned her with asking where we were going to move her stuff to.. I hit her with everything I had, claiming I had hired a P.I. because I was too ashamed to admit I had been spying on her.. She tried to deny it but I just had so many facts as well as a folder "full" of her chat logs and email conversations she had with me on the internet while thinking I was someone other then myself...

I helped her load up her car (the one I was making the lease pymts on) and spent the night crying my eyes out... Sometime the next day I realized I loved my wife despite what she did and was glad when she jumped at the chance to go see a professional about our problems..

It took a shrink telling me that my penis was too large for my wife to enjoy anal sex with me and that my premature ejaculation was not as big of an issue to my wife as it was to me... Somehow I had figured out in my head that I was a bum lay and my [censored] was too small! Just goes to show you that despite how true you think things are they may in fact be different then you think.

The upside to this whole thing is my wife and I are still together and are very much still in love.. With some pointers from my doctor and a free website I have beat my premature ejaculation problem! I wanted to lay it all out in in this post because I want others to know that it's possible to save a marriage if the husband and wife work together.. It could have ended right there and I'm so glad that my wife and I are still together.. There is hope, great hope..

If anyone has any questions go ahead and fire them at me... This is a great site and I wish I would have known about it previous to doing everything wrong...

Grumpet

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what got you through the "tough" times? You and I both know sometimes we can't "share" all of our sadness with the WS fearing to hurt them worse....kinda hard to hide it though.

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by 2334pem:
<strong> what got you through the "tough" times? You and I both know sometimes we can't "share" all of our sadness with the WS fearing to hurt them worse....kinda hard to hide it though. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">God helped me through this ordeal and also some good friends and my Dad...


I was in a mental sewer for nearly two years and it was rough going... I think that somehow being able to put one foot in front of the other much like a robot really helped me.. I know that there were times when we would hold each other and cry that I felt so good but when we would have a minor argument I would think to myself she was going to run out and **** someone else...

I know from experience that often times I would be so sure that I knew what she was thinking and often times I was right, the catch was that the reasons that I assigned for her thinking the way she did was wrong... It is hard to back down on something when you are so sure you are right but in the case of marriage, at least for me I found that sometimes it's just better to shut up and just listen... I "was" the type of guy who just knew what my wife wanted.. I found out that I actually knew very little and when I started to really listen to my wife and think about what she said our relationship improved greatly...

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OUCH! Anal sex!!!! I told my husband if he ever wanted to try that, I told him that I get to stuff a large cucumber up his a$$ first and see how much he likes it!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

Ali <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

But hey, to each his own! (no pun intended)

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Ali88:
<strong> OUCH! Anal sex!!!! I told my husband if he ever wanted to try that, I told him that I get to stuff a large cucumber up his a$$ first and see how much he likes it!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

Ali <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

But hey, to each his own! (no pun intended) </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My wife said the same thing... She kept pestering me about it so, being fair I let her do it with a sex impliment roughly the same size as me... End result was I never did get mine! This issue (about her asking the OM to do something she wouldn't let me do) was as difficult to deal with for me as the actual PA was... In my mind it was proof that I didn't turn her on enough while the other guy somehow did... I guess size isn't all that it's cracked up to be...

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what was the free web site for the PE problem? Did the Doctor give you any advice? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

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I can see your point though,

There were things that I wanted to do with my husband but he was always in a hurry to get his big O. But then I found out he was doing all these things with her, I felt like crap. It hurts and your self esteem becomes ruined. I am the one that wanted to try new things (except that) and he wanted the same old. Ho hum! But maybe she thought in order to keep this guy she had to do it and put up a huge front! Does that make sense to you??
By the way, it doesn't matter how big the package is, it is how you use it!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

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Hi Shad. The URL for the free site is www.thundersplace.com

My Doctor explained a type of exercise where you would build up to an orgasm and then squeeze below the glans prior to the point of no return... I forget what he called it but remember the particulars of the exercise well. One thing to remember if you start the newbie routine at Thunder's place is to take things slowly and read, read, read! It is a professional forum and has several medical doctors that also practice these methods.


Allie,

what is it with girls that say "if you do this then I'll do that" then back out of the deal? I'm a huge advocate of big not being better. I always knew I had a premature ejaculation issue but because of the size of my penis I thought it would be very difficult for my wife to ever have better because I equated bigger with better. I was wrong.

Realizing that my wife had her world rocked by a man half my size put things into perspective with velocity and vengence.. It was humbling to be sure and a very good point for men if they think that they are too small to satisfy a woman. Take it from me, my size did nothing to keep my wife from cheating on me = men place greater importance on penis size then do females...

If your husband really wanted to try that wouldn't you let him?

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Nope! I get no pleasure from a hole where human waste comes from. That holds only one purpose for me and that is let mother nature take it course. I don't care how turned on he'd be. Sex is about sharing. If there is something that he felt uncomfortable with, I would not force it!
Besides, I watched Diane Sawyer's Special which airs again with new people about porn stars. The first interview, she had to prepare herself for anal sex. That hole was not meant for intercourse. But like I said before, to each is their own. Or what ever floats your boat. What turns on a person is up to them unless it will envolve hurting a person or a child. If two people want to do what ever...go ahead!

As for I'll do this and you'll do that type of thing? Basically I was saying that he is not going to get any pleasure for sticking something up is butt. He would get all the feeling and I would be sore and stuck with hemmroids and will not be able to sit I am sure for a least a week! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Embarrassed]" src="images/icons/blush.gif" />

The big male ego acts again Penis size is like a mans shoe size! WHO CARES???? I understand that a penis is very important to them. I don't know a guy who doesn't think otherwise!
OK here is something for ya. What about the breast size? Who would find more attractive? A women with OK looks and large breast? Or a very attractive women with small breast? Unfortunately women cannot judge a man on the base of his penis size until we get into bed with them. What do we do then when see a man with a small penis? Umm your penis is too small, I have got to go now. It's been nice. I'll call ya! LOL! But come on! Men place to much emphasis on it! Also you men have the upper hand as well!
I am so glad you realized that it wasn't the size to why your W. cheated!
This is the most fun post I have ever written!

Ali

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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Ali88:
<strong>

The big male ego acts again Penis size is like a mans shoe size! WHO CARES???? I understand that a penis is very important to them. I don't know a guy who doesn't think otherwise!
OK here is something for ya. What about the breast size? Who would find more attractive? A women with OK looks and large breast? Or a very attractive women with small breast? Unfortunately women cannot judge a man on the base of his penis size until we get into bed with them. What do we do then when see a man with a small penis? Umm your penis is too small, I have got to go now. It's been nice. I'll call ya! LOL! But come on! Men place to much emphasis on it! Also you men have the upper hand as well!
I am so glad you realized that it wasn't the size to why your W. cheated!
This is the most fun post I have ever written!

Ali </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Breast size:

According to my way of thinking breast size has zero to do with my finding a woman sexy, or not... The north end of a girl going south has "everything" to do with what floats my boat... Like you said, to each their own... A woman could be flat as long as she has a nice po-dunk-a-dunk...

The age old argument reference size is best answered by a mans logic...

"if there is such a thing as too small then size matters"...

I would guess that too small or too big would equate to the same negative view on this subject but according to the surveys I've seen, most men believe the reason their wife cheated on them was exactly the size issue...

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Just thought I'd give both of you a little TOS reminder. The language you're using here is fairly offensive and graphic beyond necessity. These subjects are important and valid but can be expressed is less offensive ways. Save the mods the trouble and self moderate please. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

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Most definitely! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />


Ali <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />


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