Star, SAB
thank you for the bullet points; though not intended for me, I'm going to borrow them; really pinpointing lots of issues I think really pertain to me.

Ginger, I support you in my prayers.
I wish your plans with time off to think then dealing with your job so you have sense of accomplishment and well done duty will go well.

I really have not much to share about myself.
Getting mentally and technically for plan B.
Detaching.
Setting up boundaries at work - will see soon if that backfired or got a positive result.
Cherishing kids.

Wishing all well,
FBOW

Sorry I didn't call like I said I was going to. I could not find the car charger. (I cleaned the car and forgot to put it back).

I will e-mail you later today. I hope you get this.

Thinking of you.

Thanks for the compliment, and don't underestimate your own strength. You have been dealing with far more than I have had to. You need a break.

Am I strong, I don't know, maybe, maybe not. I appreciate the compliment.

Ginger,
You have a good support group. Did you know this many people care about you?

Sometimes I wish I could look people in the eye, and say "you can do this, you really can. Trust yourself to do it right, and get through it to a happier place."

I think you will get through it, but I know saying that doesn't do the work, or make the fear go away. Please have faith that God will make it right, no matter what happens. I promise he will, if you will continue to do your best.

Smile, frowns take too much energy.

SS

Ginger my friend, My prayers are for you. I know you will do the right thing for YOU. Have faith in yourself and God.

Will talk to you later. Maxlo

Hi Gingersnap

Just thought I would say that I am thinking of you at this moment in your life. Take care of yourself, you are a very special person.

Love & Hugs

Hello All
A big thank you for all the support.I am not at home right now and have limited use of the computer so if you do not hear from me that is why.

I had an IC session on friday and it went really well.She was a wonderful lady my D set up the appt.for me and she saw me for 2hrs free of charge.She let me talk and then she said let me tell you the pattern I see in you I would like to share the analogy(sp) she gave me of myself I felt like she was right on.She said I was like a dresser with drawers in it and every event in my life I just put in to a drawer until that one was filled up then I moved to the next one and so on until finally there was no more room and the drawers spilled over.The A I believe was that,I tried for so long to keep pushing it back in and it just could not happen anymore and it all came flooding out.She gave me a thought to to think of and to try and reconize everytime I had them.She said she likes to leave people with tools to help them become whole.
I have made more of an attempt to notice when I have certin thoughts and how I need to deal with them.

As for my H,as long as I kiss his rump everything is fine,he called I tried to talk about an issue he got mad at me and told me he would never call me again.He called the next day.I do not think that I need to live this way.I do not know how to let go I need to work on that.
I do feel lonely,and homesick.

I will look for a job and hope that things will fall into place and after my inventory I can move over here w/a job lined up,I really dont want to have to live w/anyone I would like my own place.
I think another issue will be that my kids will need to realize that I will need to live a life and NOT be thier live in babysitter I can see this happening really easy but then again Grandma has never lived close enough to do this so it probably seems like a great idea to them.

So there is an update I will try and keep in touch as much as I can.

Thanks again all for all your support it means the world to me.

ginger,

You cannot imagine how this post makes me feel. For the longest time, I've been praying that somehow you would find a way to see an IC some way that you were comfortable with....and that you would break out of this stagnant cycle. I feel as though my prayers have been heard...because just look at you!!! I'm so happy to hear this news and I will keep praying that you get stronger and stronger and find a path to a happier and more fulfilling life. hugs sweetie!!

Hi Ginger,

Still praying for you - and son, and H.

While all of us have problems, sometimes very serious ones, we often get through them better than we think we will. I am betting on you doing that.

Please let us know your status as often as you can, we worry about you.

SS

PS, a good cure for loneliness would be to call up Sue while she is at work, and tease her so she can't get anything done. Let me know how it works, maybe I'll try it too. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ July 05, 2004, 09:17 PM: Message edited by: still seeking ]</small>

Ginger

What can I say??? I am so pleased to hear from you, I was really worried about you. Good news about the IC, you needed to talk to someone and you did, well done girl.

You seem at peace. You will get there in the end. It may seem lonely just now but look at the bad points you have had to get through recently? It can only get better for you and that is what you deserve my dearest friend.

Keep us updated on your progress and it WILL be progress.

Until next time, take care of yourself.
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Love

Ginger can call me at work and I still get stuff done.

Ginger - if you get this, I am working 2nd shift Tues, Wed, & Thursday. (Daycare is on vacation, so I changed hours for the week) Took Friday off, plan to sleep late (Have to work 3rd shift that night). I will be in and out all weekend, boys have a ball tournament. I will have my cell phone on when there. You know you can call it anytime.

I am so happy to hear you are in IC. Time for Ginger to take care of Ginger. Thought of you all weekend. Wished I could have brought you where I was. I even would have left you there so you could have lots of down time (if that is what you would have wanted). I was on an Island in the middle of a lake. We have some friends that own it. Can only reach it by boat and you have to have the cell phone number of someone on the island to get the boat to come and get you. It is a great place to be when you don't want to be reached.

I'm still waiting for your new cell phone number. If you sent it to my comcast account, something is not working with it. Send it to my yahoo account.

If you cannot call me - e-mail me at work - okay

I suppose I should change my age on my sig line. I don't know of any other place you can remain ageless. If I don't update it, I don't age - correct (lol)

Thank you everyone.
I am ok I think,I still do not know what I am going to do.
My H called and said my son came home and he gave him his clothes and said that he was on his own,this broke my heart.Why he could not have stuck around until I left so that I could have taken him with me I dont know,I guess the need for the drugs was stronger than the need to be clean.I pray for him,I worry so much about him.

As for my H he acts as tho I am on a vacation and all is well.He does not talk about anything and I dont dare bring anything up because I know what I will hear.He still tells me that I need to move over here and asks if I have been job hunting.

I have never felt so confused in my life I dont think.I do thank everyone here for the support.
I am not in IC yet I only had that one session but if I move I will look for one,at home there is no one on the level of this lady that could help me,even she said to be careful when looking for IC.

My kids are really encouraging me to leave my H,they are all so very angry at him not just for the A but for what they have gone thru in life w/him.The A to them was painful because they felt like he never had time for them but he had time to have an A plan a trip and spend a week w/OW and he never did that for them.It is sad really,I knew this is how they would feel and that is why I never wanted them to know but in the end it is better that they do know.I guess I should have listened to all of you way back then.Oh well I told them when it felt right for me and I guess that is what really matters.

Take care all I will post when I can.

Ginger - thanks for the update. You take your time and do what is right for you. Don't let anyone one pressure you into what you don't want.

Thanks for the chat yesterday Sue,your the best.
And yes Sue can get stuff done and talk to me at the same time she is so talented <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

My H sent me an email today,first one since I have been gone and I have been gone almost a week.He told me how much he misses me and how he will work on our M when I get home,problem is I have heard this so many times in the past I cant believe him.He will work on it and do things for a day or two and then goes back to his old self.I dont want to live that way anymore,I want to be happy.

Like Sue said do I want to survive or live,,,,I want to live.

Ginger, I know how you feel. So what's his plan to do this? Then, how is he planning to follow through?

...loyal MBers want to know...

Hi !
Whats for dinner?

No - wait.............

Sorry, wrong thread.

Hey Ginger, SAB is right, does he have a plan?

Did you ever put down on paper what you need from him? It ought to be in writing.

You OK most days?

SS

He knows my needs,I have told him so many times sent him stuff in email,sent him info on how to do these things and even bought books.
He chooses not to read or follow thru.

His plan?? Who knows..He usually will be very attentive to me for a day or two and then back to the same old thing.He does not even call me much and when he does he does not have time to talk to me,I have seen him stay on the phone w/other people for a really long time so I know he is capable of having long conversations.His idea of spending time together is being in the same room <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> I may be wrong but I have a different idea when it comes to spending time together.

I am ok most days,a little lonely and night time is hard but time heals right!!

I still am not sure what I will do but it is looking more and more like I will move after my inverntory.
I think I will be ok if I can get my own place,living w/the kids will not work for me.I know they mean well and I do appreciate them for this but I think I would go crazy if I had to live with them for to long.

It is always good to spell it out (yet again) for us men. Some of us are really slow (sorry WAT, not talking about you.)

My W's traveling in Northern CA, should I have her come by and see you? I bet the twins would drive you nuts.

I'ts too late for me to even think up a good joke, I better go to bed.

SS

Ginger,

How are you?

Hi Ginger
Hey how are you doing?Haven't heard from you in awhile.My hope and prayers are with you.