My husband and I have been married almost two years, we have a four month old daughter and I have 3 boys from a previous marriage. My husband is in the military and for the last week he has been in at(annual training) at a base about an hour and a half from here. He has always been a very doting husband and he drives home to be with me and the kids every night. I am going to night school so I don't see him much and I work nights on the weekend at the hospital. Anyway last weekend I told him to just stay at the barracks and get some rest because by the time he got home I would already be gone to work and he would have to leave before I got home in the morning so there really is no reason for him to drive so far and get up so early to drive back when he could stay there and relax a little. I asked him please do not go to the strip clubs or bar. He agreed. I missed him very much over the weekend and when he came home Sunday I was very happy to see him. We got intimate and I noticed that he couldn't quite perform (like there was soreness??) knowing that we haven't done anything for a while I got suspicious and I looked in his wallet. Sure enough I found a membership card to a club we used to go to with a woman's name and number on the back. I was furious so I asked him about it. At first he said he didn't go, then admitted he did go but only as a designated driver for the "guys" but still denied the card was his, then he admitted that it was his card but claims he doesn't know who the woman is or why the number is on his card, he said he allowed his buddies to use it so that they could get in without having to buy a membership. I don't believe him. I called the number and spoke to the woman, she described my husband to a tee and told me that he told her he was separated but didn't mention his daughter at all and that nothing happened except a couple of dances and a conversation. And she apologized to me. I told him what she told me and he still denies it was him! This really hurts me, even if nothing happened why doesn't he just tell me the truth. I am willing to work this out ( I had a really bad experience with my ex husband and I can't go thru that again)but I need to know the truth. He keeps telling me to let it go that he will never go to a club without me again but I can't just forget. I caught him in several lies. He has never lied to me before(or has he?) Things keep running through my head. What should I do? I love my husband but my guard is up now, I don't want to be hurt again but I don't want to be lied to either. Any advice????

Welcome to marriage builders. Please post up on general questions. There is much more traffic there. You cannot recover until your WH is truthful. But they all lie at first. They think it keeps you from being hurt, not realizing that the lies are worse than the truth.

Keep posting here and we will help you regain a great marriage.

Uhmm could it be that he had an infection or anything? UHMM or he had been having some during work hours.. military guys....

ok...not very encouraging here.. but sometimes I like to give it straight! Sorry you are in this condition, make sure you have a straight talk with him about being honest, even with honesty.. don't always beleive things people say... I am not oging to say guys because women lie.. and if your gut feeling tells you he had sex with someone else.. he did..

make sure you get tested for STD's sooner you know sooner you can treat it.

I am in the phase of "TRUST NOONE"... I was like that before, but when I met my husband....boy did I beleive everything he told me.. now...well I'm back to my old self again.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Big hugs.. and I just hope your "GUT FEELING" is wrong..a nd that other lady isn't lying either.. so please...take care of you and your kids, don't get tied up in this.

Well time for me to finish my daily stuff.. keep posting whenever you feel like it dear.