My WS says he feels that I only want him now because someone else wants him. He said that he never felt wanted and that the only reason I want him now is because someone else wants him. He said it's like a toy... and I only want the toy because someone else wants to play it...

How do I convince him that I truly do love him and want to be with him now and forever?

Did any other WS feel that way? If so, what happened to change that?

Hi,

you might want to ask him: "Do you get married to someone you wanna "play with?"

take care
bb

Hi toofedup - I felt for years my H did not love me, he did not treat me well, with love, respect, etc. I felt my M was over and had an A, my H upon discovering the A all of a sudden declared his love for me, said all those things he had said to me in the past 10 years he did not mean. (he told me for 10 yrs he did not love me, I was stupid, he was leaving as soon as the kids are 18 so he wouldn't have to pay support, only staying for the kids, etc. etc.)

We are 8 mos after DDAY - H has done a 180 and now is the H I have always wanted, I have the M I have always wanted, someone who shows me attention, shows me love, is interested in what I have to say and wants to spend time with me.
He is depositing in my love bank which he hadn't done for years.

Go to Plan A, show your H how much you love him, get into MC, show him and tell him how much you want your M to work, we did do the emotional needs questionnaires which helped open communication, My H knows what I need and he tries everyday to fill those top 5 -
and I now am trying to fulfill his top 5
We are much closer now, I feel there is hope now - good luck Sandy

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Did any other WS feel that way? If so, what happened to change that? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">yeah, I felt a bit angry that it took an affair to wake my wife up. Her attempts to show me changes initially pissed me off.

But she was consistent. She ultimately convinced me that she was serious about changing. That's what convinced me that we had a chance.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> you might want to ask him: "Do you get married to someone you wanna "play with?"
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yeah, I think we do to some extent. It's tragic when spouses lose the ability to "play" with one another.

Low